The Q4 Cleanup!

Christi Hegstad October 17th, 2021

Nearly every meeting I’ve facilitated lately has begun with some version of this phrase:

“I can’t believe we’ve reached this point in the year already!”

And by the time we blink again, we’ll be kicking off a brand new year.

For this reason, I always like to dedicate time during 4th quarter to clearing out, cleaning up, and setting up my office environment for success – for both the new year as well as the active year-end season. Here are a few areas on my checklist:

* Drafts

Time to let go of rough drafts of proposals, articles, etc. and just keep the final copy.

* Files / file cabinet

I typically ‘shred as I go’ but I like to do a year-end sweep, just to make sure.

* Email subscriber list

If people haven’t opened an email from me in months, it’s likely they’ve either changed email addresses or no longer wish to hear from me. I silently send them well-wishes and delete the inactive accounts from my list.

* Email lists I’m subscribed to but do not read

Again, I tend to cull these regularly throughout the year, but now’s the time to take another look.

* Social media

I like to thoughtfully review the platforms I’m on and ask if they’re contributing to my quality of life or helping me contribute to others’ quality of life. At this point, I am only active on a very few – and that may decrease even further before the year ends.

* Office supplies

I probably get a little too excited about stationery, different types of pens, decorative paper clips, and the like. I’ll sort through and donate the excess.

* Bookshelves

Does anyone else love to bless Little Free Libraries with personal + professional development books they no longer refer to? 🙂

* Photos

This may involve filing them into folders, removing duplicates, or deleting them altogether. I plan to make this part of my weekly ‘life administration’ routine.

Those are some of the practical areas; I also have several more purposeful, internal areas that get a thorough cleanup at this time of year as well. Let me know if you’d like me to write a blog on those as well!

What else do I need to add to my list above?

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, is the Practical + Purposeful Coach for Achievers! Join our email community for coaching tips, book recommendations, tools, resources, and more!

5 Ways To Begin Building (Or Rebuilding) Your Confidence

Christi Hegstad October 14th, 2021

Sometimes low confidence is situational; ie, you don’t get offered the job you thought you were a shoe-in for, and you begin questioning yourself.

Sometimes it’s more foundational, like when a voice – perhaps even your own – has been telling you for years that you cannot achieve your goals or that you’re an imposter.

Let me assure you that, either way, you are not alone. Much of my coaching work addresses confidence, regardless of one’s achievements or levels of success. Most of us experience confidence dips at times.

Fortunately, we can take action to purposefully build – or rebuild – our confidence. It’s not a stagnant concept but one that we have agency over! Here are 5 ways to help you get started.

1. Keep a Success Journal.

In a nutshell, a Success Journal simply involves writing one ‘win’ (and you get to define what constitutes a win) per day. Do this for even three weeks and you’ll have a list of over 20 points proving your success – and strengthening your confidence as a result. This simple but profound step requires less than two minutes per day but, especially over time, can change everything.

You can read more about my Success Journal idea here.

2. Define confidence for yourself.

One person may view a sign of confidence as being able to speak to a group of 1,500; someone else may recognize confidence when they can speak up in a meeting of two. You may feel confidence as a straightening of your posture and an opening of your shoulders; someone else may feel confidence as a slowing of their heartbeat.

Don’t just adopt someone else’s definition of confidence. Discern what it looks and feels like for you, specifically.

3. Seek out a cheerleader.

The naysayers have a way of finding us all on their own, don’t they? So make sure you have a cheerleader in your corner, too – someone who will remind you of your past successes, support your future dreams, and encourage you along the way.

Side note: Being that person for someone else can be a great confidence-builder, too.

4. Scan your personal history.

When have you felt confident in the past – and what contributed to those moments? As you look over your work and life, what moments or achievements stand out as successes? When have you overcome an obstacle, stretched out of your comfort zone, or achieved a goal?

Make a list of these moments – what I often refer to as a Celebration of Triumphs – and start looking for clues, patterns, and contributing factors. Learn more and download a worksheet to support you here.

5. Connect with a pro.

You don’t have to figure everything out on your own! So many resources are available to support you in strengthening your confidence. Reach out to a certified coach, licensed therapist, or an experienced and trusted mentor, depending on your needs and situation.

I coach in this area daily, so if I can be of service to you, you are welcome to reach out to me!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, is the Practical + Purposeful Coach for Achievers! Join our email community for coaching tips, book recommendations, tools, resources, and more!

When Is It OK To Not Care?

Christi Hegstad October 13th, 2021

Years ago, I had the opportunity to talk on live television about my coaching work. I selected my outfit, a square-necked dress that I adored. At the last minute, I popped into a nearby store and purchased a simple, inexpensive necklace to complete the look. Voila – I was ready!

The interview was a blast. Afterwards, I thanked the hosts and crew, then hopped in my car to head to the office. I noticed my neck and upper chest area starting to itch, and a quick glance in the rear-view mirror showed a giant patch of splotchy redness all over my skin.

Turns out the cute little necklace I had purchased for the occasion contained nickel, to which I am allergic. This is not a dangerous allergy for me, more of an annoyance, and I knew (from way too much past experience) that the splotchiness would eventually disappear.

Later that afternoon, I watched a replay of the TV segment with some family members. And we also watched as, on screen, my neck and chest area slowly began turning red and splotchy throughout the interview! It was like watching the ripples spread from a pebble tossed into a pond, only much less soothing. 🙂 I could hardly believe what I was seeing.

And you know what I thought? Me – enneagram 3, Type A+, recovering perfectionist me?

“Who cares?!”

Past-me might have been mortified. Might have worried about who saw and what they thought. Might have cringed endlessly.

But this time? I really didn’t care. I shared solid content during the interview, offering practical tips that helped people. What I looked like, what my skin was doing as I spoke, was not what mattered most.

I care, deeply, about so much. I support causes that align with my values. I cry with others’ pain. I work daily to build a positive, purposeful world.

But I have to say, it felt good to not care about something so not-important in the grand scheme of things.

And even to chuckle about it!

But are there things holding you back that really aren’t that important, when it comes down to it?

Maybe it’s caring so much about doing something perfectly that it keeps you from even giving it a try.

Maybe it’s caring so much about how you compare to others that you lose sight of your own unique and incredible gifts.

Maybe it’s caring so much about the algorithm or how many people will ‘like’ your social media post that it prevents you from posting your meaningful content at all.

Most of us probably invest at least some of our time and energy fretting about things that, in the big picture, perhaps don’t really matter so much. Consider caring a little less about those things, and instead putting that energy into being your best self and making your positive difference in the world.

And maybe you can even practice this without experiencing an allergic reaction on live TV! To each their own. 🙂

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, is the Practical + Purposeful Coach for Achievers! Join our email community for coaching tips, book recommendations, tools, resources, and more!

Accepting vs. Settling: What’s The Difference?

Christi Hegstad October 12th, 2021

How do you tell the difference between accepting the way something is and settling for less than you deserve?

For a while now, I have been working on an article addressing this very question.

For a while now, my page has remained pretty blank.

Is it one of those things we just ‘know’? Or is that the problem – we think we’ll know when we’re settling but don’t actually realize it until much later?

To me, both require a level of letting go. The phrase “It is what it is” comes to mind.

Both can be challenging, acknowledging factors outside our control.

And I can feel a difference between the two:

Acceptance feels difficult, but also ‘clean.’ I feel an element of decisiveness with acceptance.

Settling feels more muddled, heavier.

But beyond that, I still don’t know that I have a clear-cut distinction. I do recognize its importance, however.

If you struggle with this differentiation like I do, play around with how each concept feels for you. Draft a list of words you associate with each. Perhaps even reflect on a time in your life when you accepted a situation and moved forward, and a time when you settled for less than you deserve.

Oftentimes, our own personal history becomes our best teacher. Especially when blended with our intuition and self-knowledge!

I’d love to know how you differentiate between acceptance and settling. Please share your thoughts below or on Instagram or Facebook!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, is the Practical + Purposeful Coach for Achievers! Join our email community for coaching tips, book recommendations, tools, resources, and more!

Start Over, Course-Correct, or Quit?

Christi Hegstad October 10th, 2021

If you make a plan – for a project, a trip, your day – and you hit a snafu, do you adjust and move forward? Or do you scrap the plan altogether?

I veer toward all-or-nothing tendencies, so I often want to choose the latter option.

I typically feel better, however – not to mention experience greater + more meaningful success – when I choose to pause, course-correct, and move ahead with a newly-revised plan.

This week, regroup.

Review where you want to be at the end of the year (or the end of this week).

Look at what’s working and what needs improvement or change.

Revise the plan accordingly and proceed with purpose!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, is the Practical + Purposeful Coach for Achievers! Join our email community for coaching tips, book recommendations, tools, resources, and more!

Achieving Big Goals Without Big Confidence

Christi Hegstad October 7th, 2021

Some people love setting a big, bold goal and keeping it in front of themselves at all times. They post it on the wall, make it their phone screensaver, and write it on the front page of their journal. They feel inspired and empowered by the visual reminder.

Others feel completely overwhelmed by it.

I am both of these people, depending on the goal!

But let me share a trick I’ve learned when it comes to achieving challenging goals:

Set the goal, breathe it in, imagine achieving it – then put it away.

Turn your attention instead to the small, sometimes even teeny-tiny, steps that will get you where you’re going.

Just like success itself, confidence is built one small win at a time.

We are nearing the end of the first week of 2021’s final quarter. Take a moment to ask yourself what you’d LOVE to celebrate at the end of the year.

Then break it into small, manageable pieces, and take it one small, confident step at a time.

At the end of the year, you can celebrate your achievements *and* your strengthened confidence!

What’s one work or life area you are focusing on this quarter? Share below or on Instagram – I’d love to cheer you on!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, is the Practical + Purposeful Coach for Achievers! Join our email community for coaching tips, book recommendations, tools, resources, and more!

What’s On Your “Won’t Do” List?

Christi Hegstad October 6th, 2021

When I shared my top ten lessons learned in September, #1 said:

A ‘won’t do’ list can be just as valuable as a ‘to do’ list.

This lesson garnered more feedback (particularly on LinkedIn) than any other.

A ‘won’t do’ list is just as it sounds: A list of things you will not do.

I also think of it as a sort of ‘best practices’ for my boundaries.

Your ‘Won’t Do’ List

So, how do we create our Won’t Do lists? I suggest the following three steps:

First, envision when you feel your best. What contributes to that experience? What is generally in place? How, specifically, does it feel? Start by placing yourself in your ideal.

Next, consider times when you feel drained, depleted, or ‘off.’ What contributes to those experiences? Are certain traits nearly always in place?

Finally, look at your two lists, and start identifying what you need to stop doing or tolerating in order to experience more high-quality moments.

This will form the beginning of your Won’t Do list.

Examples

Your Won’t Do list will be unique to you. But to get some ideas flowing, consider the following examples:

I won’t engage in arguments with strangers on the internet.

I won’t take Aunt Enid’s questions about my home-buying decisions personally.

I won’t check email after 7pm.

I won’t start work for the client until all the paperwork is signed.

I won’t say Yes to requests for my time until I’ve given myself an hour to consider them.

You can think in terms of relationships, work, home care, personal life, and beyond. If your list grows long, consider prioritizing so you can pay attention to the top handful of ideas.

Don’t Forget The Final Step!

Now that you’ve created your Won’t Do list, remember the all-important final step:

Honor it!

When faced with an opportunity, challenge, or uncertainty, ask yourself your usual questions, such as:

Does it align with my values and purpose?

Will it move me closer to my vision?

How does it feel?

If you still need further clarification, or if it doesn’t yet feel 100% right, refer to your Won’t Do list.

Let this additional layer support your meaningful, purposeful decision-making!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, is the Practical + Purposeful Coach for Achievers! Join our email community for coaching tips, book recommendations, tools, resources, and more!

Monthly Review – September Lessons Learned

Christi Hegstad October 3rd, 2021

Another month, another bunch of lessons it brought me! Can you relate to any of these?

1. A ‘won’t do’ list can be just as valuable as a ‘to do’ list. #boundaries

2. Finish the half-finished stuff. You’ll feel better!

3. Five minutes of action is better than any minutes of worrying.

4. Take the nap.

5. Discovering pockets in your new dress = instant awesomeness!

6. Make the decision. Then take an action in favor of it.

7. When overwhelmed, S I M P L I F Y. Return to the basics.

8. Sometimes ’80s country music is exactly what’s needed!

9. Take yourself on a little adventure, just because.

10. If it’s worthwhile, give it your all. It might not be easy, but you’ll never regret doing the best you can.

Let me know if one of these resonates with you, too!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, is the Practical + Purposeful Coach for Achievers! Join our email community for coaching tips, book recommendations, tools, resources, and more!

The 3 Most Important Things To Do Each Week

Christi Hegstad October 3rd, 2021

How many days per week do you feel intentional, purposeful, and satisfied with your time?

If you often wrap up your days wondering what you have to show for them, or if you spend more time than you’d like ‘spinning your wheels,’ give this a try:

This week, decide your Weekly Top 3 – your three most important items to complete by Friday.

Record them at the top of your planner.

Then, block specific times to dedicate to those three items before adding anything else to your calendar. Honor those time blocks like you would a doctor’s appointment.

I find mapping this out on paper first helps. If you’re part of my email community, you received a tool in your in-box this morning that you can use for this purpose!

Implement the Weekly Top 3 and see if it supports you in feeling more purposeful with one of your most precious resources – your time!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, is the Practical + Purposeful Coach for Achievers! Join our email community for coaching tips, book recommendations, tools like the one referenced in this post, and more!

Looking Back To Move Forward

Christi Hegstad September 18th, 2021

A few weeks ago, I felt a bit ‘off.’ Not an uncommon experience for any of us from time to time, but I was ready for something different. Ready to make a change.

But where to start?

On a whim, I pulled out my journal and drew a circle in the center. “I don’t want to feel the way I am right now,” I thought to myself. “But how exactly do I want to feel?”

A few words rose to the surface immediately: Vibrant. Strong. Focused.

I chose VIBRANT and wrote it in the circle.

My inclination was to then ask myself how I could experience that feeling more in my life – but I chose a different angle.

Instead, I asked myself, “When have I felt that way in the past? When do I most tend to feel that way?”

In other words, I started scanning my own personal history for clues.

Clues that would remind me that I had felt vibrant in the past (that reminder helped!), and that would inform me how I might start feeling more vibrant now.

Looking Back To Move Forward

‘Looking back’ might mean over the span of your life, or even just the recent past. When I asked myself, “When have I felt vibrant? When do I tend to feel more vibrant?” several examples came to mind, such as when I am:

* Learning something new.

* Engaging in coaching calls and meaningful conversations.

* Making progress on a project or goal.

* Decluttering, or working in a decluttered space.

So, from the circle in the center of my page, I started making lines – like beams from the sun – and writing down one example per line.

And once I started writing ideas down, more ideas came. Soon I had a dozen ‘sunbeams’ of ideas!

How Do YOU Want To Feel?

I encourage you to give this exercise a try! Give yourself 15-30 minutes of quiet time alone with a pen and paper. Choose your word(s) for the center circle, then start scanning your past for examples of when you have felt that way. Begin jotting them down, and see what patterns emerge.

I’ve actually done this a couple of times since, using different words in the center. One time it was vibrant, another it was calm + peaceful. The act of completing the exercise is helpful, plus you end up with a toolkit of personalized ideas to call on when needed.

I share many tools and exercises like this with my ASPIRE Success Club clients each month, and this month I decided to share it here on the blog as well. Please let me know if you try this exercise – I’d love to hear how it goes!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, is the Practical + Purposeful Coach for Achievers! Join our email community for coaching tips, tools and resources, book recommendations, and more!

Author Archives: Christi Hegstad

Your ‘Won’t Do’ List

Examples

Don’t Forget The Final Step!

Looking Back To Move Forward

How Do YOU Want To Feel?