How do you tell the difference between accepting the way something is and settling for less than you deserve?
For a while now, I have been working on an article addressing this very question.
For a while now, my page has remained pretty blank.
Is it one of those things we just ‘know’? Or is that the problem – we think we’ll know when we’re settling but don’t actually realize it until much later?
To me, both require a level of letting go. The phrase “It is what it is” comes to mind.
Both can be challenging, acknowledging factors outside our control.
And I can feel a difference between the two:
Acceptance feels difficult, but also ‘clean.’ I feel an element of decisiveness with acceptance.
Settling feels more muddled, heavier.
But beyond that, I still don’t know that I have a clear-cut distinction. I do recognize its importance, however.
If you struggle with this differentiation like I do, play around with how each concept feels for you. Draft a list of words you associate with each. Perhaps even reflect on a time in your life when you accepted a situation and moved forward, and a time when you settled for less than you deserve.
Oftentimes, our own personal history becomes our best teacher. Especially when blended with our intuition and self-knowledge!
Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, is the Practical + Purposeful Coach for Achievers! Join our email community for coaching tips, book recommendations, tools, resources, and more!