Tag Archives: achiever

Gratitude As A Professional Coach

Christi Hegstad November 23rd, 2022

Like many of you celebrating Thanksgiving this week, I feel especially grateful for the many blessings in my life. Family, friendships, home, health – the list is infinite!

I also feel a special kind of gratitude for the work I do and the people I work with. As a Professional Certified Coach and the owner of a coaching firm, I have the privilege of helping people work with meaning and live with purpose every single day.

A few notes of gratitude specifically to my coaching colleagues, clients, and connections:

Thank you for being willing to explore deep questions and engage in meaningful discussion. These types of conversations, and the actions that follow, are changing the world.

Thank you for your trust in the process, in yourself, and in me. I am honored by your vulnerability and thankful for the safe space we create.

Thank you for letting one another know we’re not alone. In the ASPIRE Success Club, for example, “Oh my gosh, I thought I was the only one!” is a phrase we hear a lot in our meetings! Your sharing bolsters belonging and builds community.

Thank you for being lifelong learners. Your willingness to grow helps all of us grow!

Thank you for your generosity of spirit. You are truly some of the kindest, wisest, most hilarious people I know.

Thank you to my coaches, of whom I have hired many over the years. You challenge me, inspire me, and continually motivate me to elevate my coaching game.

My work and life are infinitely better because of all of you, and I am grateful.

Join the ASPIRE Success Club or the waiting list for the ASPIRE Bold Goal Academy – enrollment remains open for just a little longer! 

From Transition To Transformation

Christi Hegstad November 18th, 2022

Early in my business, when asked the type of clients with whom I work, I realized nearly all of them were in a transition of some sort. I was so excited to have finally found a niche!

Not long after, it dawned on me:

Nearly all of us are in or nearing a transition of some sort. Pretty much all the time.

We’re thinking about a new role, preparing the children to start school, considering a move, approaching retirement.

The snow outside my window reminds me we’re transitioning into a new season. Soon we’ll transition to a new month, then a new year.

Even shifting from work mode to home/personal time is a transition many of us experience daily.

Life, when you think about it, is filled with transition.

I’ve experienced several myself this year, a big one being the ’empty nest.’ For the first time in over two decades, my kiddos all live outside the home they grew up in.

Leading up to this significant life change, I asked several friends about their experience. Responses varied from ‘It’s awesome, you’ll love it!’ to ‘It’s terrible, you’ll hate it!’ and all points in between.

I realized that I wanted to decide how it was going to be for me. Rather than a wait-and-see-and-hope-for-the-best approach, I chose to be intentional about entering this new phase.

Intentionality, in my experience, is key to shifting a transition into a transformation.

If you are in or approaching a change, consider being intentional about it.

Start by asking yourself what you want. If you could wave a magic wand, what would it look like on the other side of your transition?

What would you love to be able to say at that time?

How would you feel?

From that space, make your decisions and act accordingly.

(My coach is always helpful when I’m navigating a transition too, so think about hiring a coach to help you through yours.)

Your ‘next chapter’ may turn out exactly as you envision – or maybe it won’t. But by putting thought into what you want to create and being deliberate about your approach, you’re more likely to turn your transition into a meaningful transformation.

What other steps help you turn a transition into a transformation?

Enroll in the ASPIRE Success Club or join the waiting list for the ASPIRE Bold Goal Academy – we’d love to help you transform your 2023 into one of meaning and purpose! 

When You Want Something Different – But Don’t Know What

Christi Hegstad November 5th, 2022

“I know I want something different, I just don’t know what that is.”

Oh, if I had a nickel for each time a coaching client said that.

And often with some embarrassment: “Shouldn’t I know this by now?”

Or even guilt or shame: “On paper, everything is fine – but why am I not content?”

First, you have permission to feel what you feel.

Second, you’ve never been this age before. You’ve never been in these exact life circumstances before. You’ve never lived in this time before. So if you’re a bit muddled or confused, cut yourself some slack.

We probably all are, to some extent!

Plus, it means you’re growing – an experience nearly always accompanied by some level of uncertainty and discomfort. Worthwhile uncertainty and discomfort, but still.

If you know you want something to change but don’t know what, consider asking yourself a few questions:

What would you love to do – or do more of – if you had unlimited time, money, and/or courage?

What’s working right now?

What do you find yourself particularly drawn to these days, even if you don’t know why? (Think article topics, podcast episodes, conversations you must be a part of…)

These questions, and ones like them, can help you begin to focus on where you might be headed – without the pressure of one single right answer.

They also help you dwell on possibility rather than ‘What’s wrong with me?’ or ‘Why can’t I figure this out?’

Start with noticing – what draws your attention, what lights you up.

Relieve yourself from the pressure of finding one right answer, and allow yourself to be curious instead.

From there, and especially with the help of a qualified coach, you can start to create a path forward – one that aligns with your values and supports your strengths, passions, and gifts.

Where will that path lead? Maybe to a different career, a new hobby, or meaningful volunteer work.

Maybe somewhere completely different.

It’s ok to not always know.

(Yes, achievers, this applies to you – and me – too. 🙂 )

You may not know now, but trust that – with a sense of curiosity and an openness to exploration – you will.

Don’t let the not-knowing hold you back from the joy of discovery!

Doors are now open for our next term of the ASPIRE Bold Goal Academy and the ASPIRE Success Club! Join one of these powerful programs while space is available!

 

Deciding What Matters

Christi Hegstad November 4th, 2022

Have you ever spent an entire afternoon decluttering a drawer that no one but you will ever see?

Or felt super satisfied by the smallest ‘invisible’ win – like getting all your groceries in the house in one trip? (Yes, I am also that person who will have bags all the way up my arms just to save myself an extra trip!)

I’ve spent a fair amount of time doing things no one else will ever know, or care, about.

Cleaning up inactive email addresses in my newsletter database.

Writing drafts of articles that may never see the light of day.

Dusting and reorganizing my bookshelves.

Some might ask, if it’s not seen by others, then does it matter?

(And by that standard, since I haven’t posted anything on most of my social media for nearly a year, could one argue that the vast majority of what I do doesn’t matter?)

But you know what?

Maybe if it matters to you, then it matters. Period.

If integrity is doing the right thing when no one else is looking,

maybe fulfillment is doing something important to you whether or not others see, or know, or care,

and still viewing it as time well spent.

I wholeheartedly believe in acknowledging others’ efforts and accomplishments, and giving / receiving credit where it’s due – that’s not what I’m talking about here.

But if you minimize your tiny wins or hidden achievements because ‘they don’t really matter anyway,’ I encourage you to think again.

Clearing out that drawer might actually lead to clarity on a decision you need to make or a fresh idea you want to pursue.

That little groceries-in-one-trip experience might bring a smile to your face – a smile you’ll surely pass on to someone else.

Maybe we get to decide what matters.

And maybe it all matters.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

 

When Are You At Your BEST?

Christi Hegstad November 3rd, 2022

When was the last time you went to bed feeling fulfilled, purposeful, and satisfied with the day?

When was the last time you went to bed feeling pretty much the opposite?

Some days are awesome, some days not so much. How do you increase the odds in your favor?

I believe this involves asking ourselves an important question:

When am I at my BEST?

From there, we can discern clues, find factors, and create environments that support more awesome days. We can’t control everything, but we don’t have to leave everything completely up to chance, either.

In the general sense, medical research has shown us we tend to feel and operate at our best when we get enough sleep, eat nutritious foods, and move our bodies.

Beyond that, I’ve discovered some factors that contribute to me, personally, feeling and operating at my best. For example:

I’m growing or learning.

My space is uncluttered.

I am practicing gratitude, either verbally or in my journal.

I have both peaceful and productive activities planned.

I’m engaging in meaningful conversation.

Those are a few of the factors that contribute to me being at my best. I try to structure my days accordingly to the extent possible. And when I’m having an ‘off’ day, I can turn to my list and see what might be missing.

When are you at your best?

Brainstorm factors that contribute to the optimum you.

Then put them into practice as much as you can.

You may soon find your awesome days starting to outweigh the rest!

 

Ideas And Tips For Your November Daily Challenge

Christi Hegstad November 1st, 2022

Are you setting a daily challenge for the month?

Perhaps it’s the ‘final push’ feeling before year-end, the popularity of initiatives like NaNoWriMo, or simply the shortened month; regardless, November seems to have become the time for committing to a daily challenge.

I am all for it!

Ideas For Your Daily Challenge

Place yourself at the end of the month for a moment. About what would you love to say, “I am so glad I did that every day this month!”? That’s probably the best place to start when choosing your daily challenge.

If you need ideas, though, here are some to get you started:

Daily Creation – A few paragraphs added to your book project, for example, or a few stitches added to your needlework.

Daily Stretching – This could be a 3-minute practice as you get out of bed or a brief yoga session before dinner.

Daily Connection – One November, I mailed a card a day – to my former high school teacher, a past client, a long-distant family member – and it felt fantastic on so many levels!

Daily Comment – Add a thoughtful contribution to someone’s LinkedIn post, for example.

Daily Delight – For nearly three years now, I’ve recorded a Daily Delight – essentially one meaningful or smile-producing moment per day. I started this practice in 2020 and don’t envision it ending anytime soon!

What action, if done daily for the next month, would enhance your personal or professional development? What would help you close the month feeling a sense of achievement or more fully engaged?

Tips For Success

Once you’ve decided to commit to a daily challenge, here are a few tips to successfully see it through:

Keep It Simple – You’re probably more likely to stick to something that takes just a few moments than an action that requires extensive time, planning, or coordination.

Schedule It In – Add it to your daily planner – especially at the start!

Track It – Consider creating a chart or habit tracker that you can update daily. (Several apps exist with this function as well, but I love the paper-and-pen satisfaction!)

You may also find an accountability group or partner helpful. I build regular check-in opportunities into many of my coaching engagements and group programs for this added motivation and support.

Are you feeling the pull to incorporate a daily challenge into your month? Share your commitment below so we can cheer you on!

 

The Sounds Of (Social Media) Silence

Christi Hegstad September 15th, 2022

Last December, I posted the following on Instagram and Facebook:

Happy Holidays + Goodbye For Now!
We are preparing the office for year-end and, while I am already excited to hit the ground running in 2022, I’m not sure when / if I’ll be returning here on FB/IG. If you’d like to stay in touch, feel free to join my email community at ChristiHegstad.com/#signup – I’d love to keep connecting with you there! I wish you a beautiful wrap-up to 2021, an excellent start to the new year, and a life and work truly filled with meaning + purpose!

I haven’t posted since.

Several people have asked if I miss it, what I’ve noticed, and if I’ll return. Today’s blog is my attempt at an answer.

Why I Stepped Away

First, let me be clear: I am sharing my own experience, not providing commentary on yours or a judgment on the collective ‘right way’ to do things. You do you!

Second, I mostly stepped away from Instagram and Facebook (with the exception of a Facebook group I lead). I decided to stay on LinkedIn. Snapchat and Tik Tok (and probably dozens of other platforms I’m not even aware exist) never really felt up my alley.

Now, my reasons:

Mental Clarity

My first reason for stepping away involved my desire for greater mental clarity. I had started feeling too infused with others’ opinions, sometimes before I had a moment to form my own. I wanted greater silence to make sure I continued to think for myself.

Time

As an achiever and sometimes-perfectionist, I could spend waaaay too much time crafting a post, editing, questioning if it might be misinterpreted, wondering if it aligned with my brand, etc etc. Simply put, the rewards often didn’t match the time and energy exerted.

Intentionality

Over time, I found myself becoming more reactive, and I tend to operate much better – for myself and for the world – when I am in proactive mode.

Kind of like decluttering my office or home nearly always leads to fresh ideas, spaciousness, and renewed energy, I wondered if decreasing my ‘electronic noise’ would have a similar effect. Also, after reading Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism, the contrarian in me did not want to give developers who aim to keep us addicted to our phones the satisfaction.

What I’ve Experienced

The impact has felt, not surprisingly, both negative and positive. On the downside, I miss seeing my friends’ kiddos in their first day of school pictures or instantly sharing about an excellent book I’ve read.

I must admit, however, that I still feel plenty informed. In addition, I am:

Streamlined.

People can easily reach me in numerous ways: email, my blog, via my website, PO box, and so on. But removing direct messages from this list has streamlined my communication – and improved the timeliness of my responses – tremendously. Yes, it’s only a couple of inboxes that have been removed from the equation, but somehow I feel exponentially less scattered.

Less Reactive.

Instead of reaching for my phone when I’m in a waiting room, I more often reach for a book, or start a conversation, or (gasp!) just sit in silence for a few minutes. (That last one sometimes feels odd – especially in a room full of people on their phones – but also delightfully rebellious.) I feel more intentional with my time, which is super important to me.

Redefining Success.

Nowadays, exactly zero percent of my personal definition of success depends on how many ‘likes’ or followers a post gains, because it’s no longer a possible metric. I feel like I’m able to pour more into my client work, subscriber newsletters, and the like. It’s now more about the creation (fully in my control) than others’ reaction (not at all in my control).

Plus, my friends can show me their kids’ first day of school photos when we chat in person, and I can respond with more than a thumbs-up emoji.

Will I Return?

Honestly, I don’t know.

I have some exciting new projects in the works, and I know that sharing them on social media could be a good way to reach – and potentially positively impact – a larger number of people.

But every time I’ve considered returning, I’ve never felt the urge to take it any farther than that. For whatever reason, I am more likely to sit down and write a 700-word blog than a caption on social media.

So, I won’t be returning this week. Maybe next week – or month or year – I will change my mind.

Have you ever taken a break from social media? What did you experience? Feel free to share your thoughts below!

 

 

 

Am I Giving Myself Grace – Or Making Excuses?

Christi Hegstad September 14th, 2022

When I met with my coach recently, I wasn’t sure which I needed more – a motivating pep talk or a metaphorical kick in the pants.

A bit of background:

I had been through a rather challenging season. Several unexpected twists and events had caused me to take a step back, regroup, and reevaluate my priorities. If I didn’t reach a particular milestone or wasn’t as productive as I’d like, I gave myself some grace.

And I’m glad for that.

At some point, however, I realized this was no longer serving me. As I state on my About page, my favorite days – the days when I feel at my best – are those with a healthy blend of productivity and peacefulness. I had reached a point where I essentially felt neither of those things!

So I started paying attention to when I put off a task or procrastinated on a project. And I began asking a few questions:

Why am I putting this off?

What do I most need in this moment?

How will I feel seeing this appear yet again on my to-do list?

Just pausing to briefly reflect in this manner – rather than throwing up my hands in apparent overwhelm – did wonders. And the answers I happened upon were quite telling, too.

For example, I realized I was regularly putting things off due to reasons we often put things off: fear, uncertainty, a sense of ‘But I shouldn’t have to do this!’

With that awareness, I could more honestly address what I most needed in the moment. Sometimes it was grace, sometimes it was self-compassion, sometimes it was a firm self-talking-to.

Often times it was a quick walk around the block to clear my head and come back ready to start fresh.

And my answer to the third question, about seeing it on my to-do list another day or week? In most cases I knew I’d feel even more deflated and demotivated! That was frequently enough to kickstart me into motion – whether that meant doing, delegating, or removing it from my list altogether.

In the end, I don’t think my title question was truly an either/or – but rather an and. I needed to give myself grace – and rest, and compassion, and room to breathe – for a period. And when that eventually felt more like making excuses and was taking its own kind of toll, I needed to shift into action and decisiveness and confident, motivating self-talk.

It’s rarely black or white. I’m learning to live in the gray.

(Sometimes, anyway.)

How about you? Do you notice a difference between giving yourself grace and making excuses? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

 

Effortless: Book Review, Takeaways, + Application

Christi Hegstad July 15th, 2021

Greg McKeown made quite a splash with his first book, Essentialism, which helped us decide what matters most and then focus our energy in those few areas.

With his latest release, Effortless, McKeown offers a ‘next step’ in the essentialism journey. He opens with the line, “Not everything has to be so hard,” then spends the next 200 or so pages providing tips, strategies, and real-life examples for living with greater ease.

Not problem-free, of course, but perhaps with a bit more lightness and freedom than we currently feel.

Below you’ll find my top takeaways, overall impressions, and to whom I’d recommend this book.

Effortless Book Not Everything Hard

Takeaways

1. Reframe your questions.

As a coach, my profession is built in large part on this principle, and I appreciate how McKeown addresses this. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, getting stalled, or asking why everything is so hard, he poses different questions:

“What if this could be easy?” (p27)

“What if all those steps I’d assumed this task entailed were not in fact required steps at all?” (p33)

“What are the minimum steps required to complete this?” (p118)

Yes, we need to deal with complex and difficult things. But maybe they don’t need to be as difficult as we tend to make them, and McKeown’s approach can help us rethink these situations.

2. Know exactly what you’re moving toward.

“Define what done looks like” is the title of chapter 6. While this may seem obvious, how often are we truly crystal-clear about what we’re heading toward?

“If you want to make something hard, indeed truly impossible, to complete,” writes McKeown, “all you have to do is make the end goal as vague as possible.”

I’ve long said vague and fuzzy goals leads to vague and fuzzy actions – or no action at all. This chapter, which is only about six pages long, packs a powerful punch regarding clarity, focus, and determining what ‘done’ looks like.

Effortless Book What Happens Next Matters Most

3. What you do next is what counts.

Years ago, while at my children’s middle school, I took a photo of a quote on the wall, attributed to Buddha: “Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” (Incidentally, if you scroll through my Instagram feed, you’ll see this as one of my first-ever posts, too!)

The final chapter in Effortless speaks to this concept beautifully.

Here, McKeown describes a health issue his family is navigating – one without clear answers or known outcomes. He vulnerably shares how, during a particularly challenging period, they had to choose, each day, whether they would obsess with worry or focus on what they could do, what they could control.

The question / choice he poses here: “Do I choose the heavier or the lighter path?”

Effortless Book Tabs Highlights

Overall Impression and Recommendation

I read a ridiculous amount in the personal + professional development space. Likely for that reason, Effortless didn’t startle me with anything wildly new or earth-shattering – however, the way McKeown presents the information and the examples he offers made this an incredibly worthwhile read. Perhaps you can tell from the above photo, I tabbed and highlighted a lot!

I’d recommend this book to those who loved Essentialism (I do recommend reading that one first, as it will provide a solid foundation) and to those feeling like things are harder than they need to be.

I also believe McKeown’s questions and tips can benefit business owners, leaders, or anyone who feels bogged down by the sheer number of to-do’s required on any given day.

Questions? Thoughts? Takeaways from your own reading experience? Share below or on LinkedIn, Instagram, or Facebook!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC, is the Practical + Purposeful Coach for Achievers!  Join our email community for weekly coaching tips, free resources, book recommendations, and more!

 

The Fear of Not Succeeding

Christi Hegstad February 25th, 2021

In our initial coaching session, my client and I were brainstorming his long-term goals. He repeatedly brought up, and kept circling back to, one in particular.

“I’ve wanted to do that for years,” he said, lighting up each time he spoke of it.

When it came time for us to finalize our coaching goals, however, that one didn’t come up. Since it was clearly important and on his mind, I asked about it.

He paused before responding.

“If I keep it an idea, it’s always a possibility. But if I set it as a goal and don’t achieve it, well, it’s done.”

Ooof. Anyone else feel that right to their core?

As achievers, the fear of not succeeding at something we set out to do can hold us back more than nearly anything else.

Yet we also understand we won’t know what we’re capable of if we don’t give it a go.

How do we move beyond this swirl?

I believe our answer comes in two parts: Reframing failure, and redefining success.

Reframe Failure

Imagine your best friend, who has been overweight his whole life, sets a goal to lose 50 pounds this year. He consults his doctor, maintains an exercise plan, works with a dietitian, commits to healthy lifestyle practices, and does the necessary mindset work. You watch throughout the year, admiring and cheering on his incredible transformation.

At the end of the year, he has lost 47 pounds. Is he a failure?

I bet you’re shaking your head ‘No’ right now.

“He’s made outstanding progress!” you might be saying. “He’s changed his life! He may not have reached the exact number he was shooting for, but he’s still far beyond where he was!”

We’re celebrating his victory, even if it doesn’t look exactly as he had planned. Oh, the grace we can give to others …

Which is what we need to practice giving ourselves.

We may not hit the mark every time. And if you’re reading this, you probably set the mark higher than most anyway. But perhaps we can learn to celebrate growth – and who we become while moving toward our goal – rather than just one singular, static measure of success.

And an important note: You are never a failure. Nor is anyone else. Failure is an experience – not a character trait.

If we’re not failing, we’re not moving – we’re not trying anything new. Only with failure, and reframing its role in our lives, can we achieve exceptional success.

Redefine Success

When I watch the Olympics, I’m always surprised when the silver medal winner seems unhappy. I’m thinking, “The fact that you made it to the Olympics is amazing!” while they’re thinking, “But I came here to win the gold!”

Yes, I’m surprised. But I often do the exact same thing. (Well, not at the Olympics, but you know what I mean.)

How can we expand our view of success? A few ideas:

* Consider setting some of your goals as ‘good / great / outstanding’ rather than ‘success / failure.’ Give yourself a range when possible.

* Take a big-picture view. Maybe you didn’t reach a home improvement goal because your priority shifted to helping a family member in need. Could ‘I honored my core values’ become part of your definition of success?

* Assess your personal growth, regardless of the tactical outcome. Sometimes you don’t ace the exam or win the competition or make the time trial. Still – what have you learned? How have you grown? In what ways are you different today than when you started? Where can you go from here?

 

I’m not suggesting we all need participation ribbons all the time, nor am I suggesting that we might not feel crummy when we don’t achieve our aim.

But don’t let the fear of not succeeding keep you from giving your purposeful goal a whirl.

Reframe failure. Redefine success. Celebrate and learn from it all!

Want help with any of this? Contact me today!

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