When ‘Thank You’ Isn’t Big Enough

Christi Hegstad November 11th, 2017

Do you ever have moments where the words “thank you” just don’t seem big enough? I’ve had many and, as a writer, I always feel compelled to keep searching for a way to articulate how grateful I am for:

* People who give their all to keep others safe, healthy, and mentally strong

* Children, wise beyond their years, who remind us of the power of openness and inclusivity

* Strangers and loved ones alike who go above and beyond to help

And those are just a few examples.

As of yet, I still haven’t found the ideal word. I’ll keep searching.

In the meantime, for all of you world-changers and difference-makers, I hope a simple, heartfelt thank you will suffice.

The Single Word That Could Change Your Life

Christi Hegstad November 9th, 2017

I’ve written often about the power of an annual theme (see here and here, for example). Choosing a word or phrase that describes who and how you want to be in the coming year is a clarifying, empowering, and mindset-shifting activity. I am always amazed at how my annual theme plays out in ways I never could have anticipated!

Today I want to take this one step further with you.

First, start by choosing the word you most want to represent you. It could be your highest core value or a word directly from your Purpose Statement. Or maybe it’s the word that best summarizes your goals for the coming year. It might be the word that you know is you at your very best, even if you don’t feel like you always live up to it.

The only real criteria: the word needs to be meaningful and inspiring to you.

Got your word?

Now, in past articles and presentations I’ve shared many ways to hold this word high: Make it your screen saver. Build it into your passwords. Create a visual anchor representing it. I still encourage you to take these actions, as they will solidify your word and make it part of your way of being.

But I also want you to do something bold:

With a large marker, write the words I AM… on a piece of cardstock or in the front of your journal. Then, still using that rich, permanent marker, I want you to write your word.

For example:

I AM ENERGY.

I AM FOCUS.

I AM CLARITY.

I AM MINDFULNESS.

I AM COURAGE.

Essentially, you are staking your claim and making the word part of your present experience, rather than something in the distance toward which you are working or striving.

We conducted a similar exercise at Spark last week, and you could feel the strength and energy in the room rising as each person boldly declared her space! It’s one thing to think it; it’s another to write it large and say it loud.

It may feel awkward at first. You may have thoughts like, “But I’m not actually this yet – it’s what I want to be!”

I beg to differ.

I believe this is who you are at your core. It’s already in you, already a part of you. It’s just been waiting for you to bring it to surface level and commit to it.

You’ve surely heard it said that “I am” are two of the most powerful words in the English language, because whatever you put after them creates your reality. Think about that: How often have you said, “I am tired” – then instantly felt filled with energy? Probably never, you likely just felt more tired.

But maybe you’ve experienced times where you had a rough night’s sleep and felt tired, but rather than stating it over and over throughout the day, you told yourself a different story: “I am energized. I am focused. I am awake!” I bet telling yourself a different story led to a different result.

Keep that in mind as you decide your annual theme – or even your daily intention. Decide who and how you want to be in the world, then commit to it. This simple but profound act could change your life experience!

What word do you choose? Commit to it even more by sharing it on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter!

Which Mindset Do You Choose?

Christi Hegstad November 7th, 2017

Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

Viktor Frankl

Coaching Tip of the Week:

I am creating this Clarity Kickstart well in advance of Spark – and I imagine that when you receive it, I will be deep in post-Spark wonder. I am always so invigorated and inspired when surrounded by people who choose a mindset of growth, connection, positivity, and purpose!

This week, choose your mindset.

Yes, things happen that are out of our control. But we always control our mindset.

We always choose who and how we will be in any given moment, regardless of what goes on around us.

Choose wisely this week! Some ideas:

Choose positivity.

Choose kindness.

Choose to bring forth your absolute best self, no matter how anyone else chooses to be.

Choose meaning and purpose.

How will you choose to approach your work and life this week?

Where Confidence Comes From

Christi Hegstad October 29th, 2017

Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone. It’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.

Unknown

Coaching Tip of the Week:

I’m sure I’ve shared this photo before, but I think we can all use the reminder from time to time. I recently posted it in our Spark Facebook group with this note that I’ll share with you, too:

One of the things I love about clarifying your core values and purpose is the CONFIDENCE that comes with it. It’s like a thread that weaves through all aspects of your work, family, and life, allowing you to make strong decisions in favor of what matters most. So exciting!

This week, work and live with confidence.

Some things confident people tend to do:

Walk tall.

Speak up.

Help others.

Get clear on their values, goals, and purpose.

Take the values-based action, even if it’s scary.

Show up.

I’m so excited to experience confidence in action with all the amazing people meeting at Spark in just a few days! We’ve added seats and now have just two left. If one is yours, click here – and we’ll see you Friday!

Share your thoughts around confidence below and on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter!

Mastering Your Positive Mindset

Christi Hegstad October 28th, 2017

Earlier this summer, I finished a retreat on the West Coast and hopped a plane back to Des Moines. I found my middle seat and struck up a conversation with the man next to me. Within moments he had commented on his delightful trip, the unseasonable – but great – weather, his gratitude for having a seat on this plane (an earlier one had been canceled), and the kindness the airline workers always showed him. His smile was contagious and even his bright checkered socks seemed to exude positivity.

The passenger to my other side arrived and, also within moments, shared about his disappointing trip, the awful weather, this frustrating airline, why he doesn’t like where he lives, reasons he hates to travel, even some life regrets. I found myself fascinated, exhausted, and thinking about mindset.

We all have rough days, and even the most positive among us experience anger, sadness and frustration, so no judgment here. But if complaining and focusing on the negative represent your typical mindset, you may be impacting more than you realize: More and more studies are linking mindset to professional success, relationship strength, life satisfaction, even physical health. In short, mindset matters.

Fortunately, you have the power to choose your mindset and develop it how you wish. If you’re ready to up-level yours, consider starting here:

Select your intention. I’m a big believer that how you start your morning sets the tone for the day. Even with the busiest schedule in the world, you can begin mastering your mindset before you even get out of bed: Choose a word that captures who/how you want to be throughout the day — maybe “patient” or “energized” or “focused.” Call your intention to mind any time for an instant shift.

Eliminate your trigger word(s). What do you often say, to yourself and/or to others, that instantly depletes your energy, positivity or confidence? For me, it was “should”; maybe for you it’s “can’t” or “overwhelmed” or “don’t have time.” Challenge yourself to eliminate draining words from your vocabulary and see what happens.

Keep a Success Journal. I encourage my coaching clients to record one win per day — either a general highlight or one specific to their goal. This simple act trains your mind to seek out the positive, plus it provides confidence-building fuel you can review before an interview, presentation or difficult conversation.

Give yourself grace as you begin mastering your positive mindset, knowing that — like all good things and strong habits — it may take a while to stick. But with just moments per day, you’ll notice your perspective shifting, and so will the people around you — even those who only enter your life for a brief plane ride.

Christi Hegstad, Ph.D., is a certified and award-winning coach, speaker, author, and founder of the upcoming fifth annual Spark retreat. Connect with her online at or on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at @ChristiHegstad.

This article was originally published by Des Moines Business Record.

One Simple Shift To Transform Your Time Blocking

Christi Hegstad October 26th, 2017

The concept of time blocking is not difficult: Look at your goals and projects, schedule time for them on your calendar, and then during that dedicated time, turn off all distractions and focus on the task at hand.

Simple in theory, right?

The implementation, however, causes many of us to struggle. We love the idea, but don’t know how to make it work in the reality of a busy day/busy life.

Ask any high-achiever for their secrets to success, though, and the concept of time blocking will likely arise in their response. When you decide what matters most and then focus your attention and purposeful action there, not only do you increase productivity but also satisfaction and fulfillment.

Over the years, I’ve come to realize two common challenges with time blocking. The first is actually honoring the time block – as in, not letting the reserved time get overtaken by other meetings or tasks. Easier said than done, but so worthwhile. I can offer tips like “treat it like you would a doctor’s appointment” or “take yourself off-site with only the project at hand” and, while useful, you’ve likely heard them before. You’ll fare better to start with a firm, inspired mindset; I recommend Deep Work by Cal Newport and The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan, both of which changed the game on time blocking for me.

The second involves making the most of the time blocked. I can think of times where I had a full hour reserved for a particular project, then spent 25 minutes of it deciding what exactly to do!

Here’s what made the biggest difference for me in that regard, and it’s actually quite simple: Shifting to a results focus.

Don’t just reserve the time on your calendar. Determine your outcome as well.

Let me give you a few examples. Imagine you’ve blocked a two-hour chunk of time and have revved yourself up for it. When the time comes, compare the difference between what you may have reserved it for:

Write book – or – Write Chapter 3 of book.

Work on XYZ Project – or – Draft two segments of XYZ Project.

Do the ironing – or – Complete the ironing.

See the difference?

Like with anything, vague goals lead to vague results. The more specific, focused, and results-oriented you can train yourself to become, the stronger your outcomes.

You’ll experience many benefits with this subtle shift. For one thing, you’ll know exactly what you want to accomplish, so when your dedicated time rolls around, you can hit the ground running.

You’ll also have a clear measurement of success, so you’ll know when you’ve accomplished it.

In addition, the focus will provide a natural energy booster. Think of the difference between “do the ironing” – which sounds (and often feels) never-ending, dragging, depleting – compared to “complete the ironing.” You start with an end game in mind. You can picture a fresh, clean space where the pile of laundry currently resides. The clear finish line heightens your energy – even if the task isn’t one you’re necessarily excited to do. (That’s the next step: Make it fun!)

I now include my desired outcome right in my calendar where I’ve blocked the time. It requires me to think through the ‘why’ of my time block at the time of scheduling, which proactively sets the process in motion. It serves as a singular focus when the time arrives. It provides something to check off, and little compares to the joy of checking things of the list, am I right?!

This simple results-oriented shift has made all the difference! What has helped you reserve, protect, or make the most of your time blocks? Share your ideas below or on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter!

In order to honor time for what matters most, you need to know what matters most. Learn it at Spark! Click here for details.

To Make Your Difference, Rekindle Your Fire

Christi Hegstad October 23rd, 2017

“Be brave

Be kind

Live gently but with fire.”

Karuna Ezara Parikh

Coaching Tip of the Week:

It’s difficult to succeed at work you feel ambivalent toward.

It’s easy to get bogged down in life’s to-do’s and feel your zest and passion dwindle.

It’s not always easy – but is important – to periodically step beyond the day-to-day and remind yourself of the big picture, as well as the purpose behind it.

This week, rekindle your fire.

Take stock of what excites and delights you in your work, leadership, and life.

Remind yourself how you make a difference.

Focus on your purpose.

Remember why you started.

Then bravely, kindly, gently, and with renewed passion and purpose, make your positive mark in the world!

Not sure how? Spark will teach you. Click here!

I’m A Huge Failure – And You Can Be, Too!

Christi Hegstad October 18th, 2017

I recall reading an interview about Sarah Blakely, creator of Spanx and the youngest self-made female billionaire in the U.S. Her rise to business success is both entertaining and inspiring, but what struck me most was a simple question her father would ask each evening at the dinner table:

What did you fail at today?

And he was disappointed if Sarah or her brother had no answer.

Why?

Because failure is a key component of success. If you’re not failing, you’re not trying anything new, you’re not stepping out of your comfort zone, you’re not periodically venturing on the lesser-known path.

I cannot give you a single example of a successful person who never failed. Oprah Winfrey – fired from her newscasting job and told she wasn’t made for TV. Michael Jordan – cut from his high school basketball team due to lack of talent. The creators of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series – endured 150 (!) rejections before one publisher was willing to take a chance.

To name just a few.

We all can likely think of examples, however, of people who let their fear of failure hold them back.

I fail constantly. When I think back to some of my early class offerings, I can’t help but remember all the times we had to cancel due to lack of interest. While speaking in front of groups I have tripped, misspoke, lost my train of thought. My printing shop called me a while back to tell me I had spelled my own name wrong on the cover of 200 workbooks they were printing for me.

I fail often, I fail big, but whenever I can, I try to fail forward.

The title of this article is actually inaccurate. Although I’ve failed thousands (millions? billions?) of times, I am not a failure.

Failure is an event, not a person, not a life path.

And for me, as long as I’ve honored my core values and purpose, staying true to who I am, failure is no longer the devastating deal it once was (a big statement for a recovering perfectionist!).

How about you? If fear of failure holds you back, I encourage you to take 3 actions:

1. Redefine failure. If you grow from the experience, can you even count it as failure? Create a definition that frees you from fear’s grips.

2. Surround yourself with inspiring examples of courage. If you haven’t already, enroll for Spark – you’ll be amazed at the courageous people you will encounter! Also consider your friend groups, online connections, reading material, and other sources.

3. Fail at something today. Go ahead, try something new and give yourself permission to do it poorly. Then, debrief: What did you learn? How can you use that experience going forward? How will you grow from – or help others grow from – it?

So come on, let’s be huge failures together! And if you’d like to hear more of my own personal experiences with failure, be sure to join me at Spark – Earlybird Rates expire this week!

Remember Why You Started: The Origins of Spark

Christi Hegstad October 16th, 2017

I’ll admit: At first glance this morning, my to-do list overwhelmed me.

Before I even headed to the office, I wondered how on earth I would make the headway I needed to make. So instead of listening to my head and diving in soon after I woke up, I decided to follow my intuition and start with a hike instead. As I shared on Instagram earlier today (along with a photo of a stunningly beautiful sky), if your to-do list seems miles long, one option is to take a hike that’s even longer! 🙂

I walked and walked and walked. When my legs started to grow weary, I thought about why I started – which was, namely, to clear my head. With each step, I gained a bit more clarity and a bit more belief that I could tackle all the tasks awaiting me back at the office.

Remembering my purpose for this hike fueled my energy, focus, and ability to complete it.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how I made the decision that, after five beautiful and successful years, this would be the final Spark. Since writing that post, and in these final weeks of preparing for the event, I’ve found myself recalling why I started Spark in the first place. Just like reminding myself why I started this morning’s hike proved helpful, reflecting on why I began Spark has fueled my motivation to make this event the best ever.

I’ve jotted down several reasons, but I’ll share three of them with you here in case they help you move forward with a bold goal or large project:

The world – at least my corner of it – needed it.

Every day, I encounter people who are questioning: Who am I? What am I here to do? Do others feel like this? Who is my ‘tribe’? With so many talented people in the world, can I really make a difference? I’m just one person – what can I do? What if I can’t? What if I can?

I looooove coaching, but I know not everyone feels they can make the commitment (time, financial, and otherwise) to coaching at the time we speak about it. I also know the need for clarity, confidence, and sense of purpose is at an all-time high. So if I couldn’t help everyone through coaching, I wanted to at least help them ignite the spark so they could then fan the flames of purposeful growth in the best possible way.

Filling an existing need proved a HUGE reason for starting Spark, and has been a prominent reason why it’s continued for five years!

I wanted to prove to myself that I could actually do it.

I’m not sure if it’s nature, nurture, or a creation of my own doing, but I seem to always need something big to be working toward. If I don’t have a Big Dream or Bold Goal on which I’m progressing, I begin to feel quite antsy.

Hosting a big, full-day, public training and coaching event felt (and is) huge. So back in 2012, it filled my “Bold Goal” need.

But during and after the event, something amazing happened. I saw people making deep connections with their own purpose and with one another. I witnessed sharing on a level I had never experienced before. I watched as people laughed, cried, dreamed, believed, supported, and connected – the likes of which I’d never seen.

So my first Spark was, in part, to see if I could pull it off. But every Spark thereafter has taken on a life of its own and been fueled by the amazing people who attend.

My mom and her message.

I had thought about hosting an event like Spark for years. YEARS. But I always had a reason (read: excuse) to put it off.

Then, in January of 2012, my mom passed away rather unexpectedly. And in the months that followed, as I reflected on her life – right up to the moment of her death, in fact – I realized something amazing:

She knew what mattered most to her, and she honored it.

She recognized she couldn’t do everything, but she could do something, and she did A LOT. She changed lives around the world by sharing her talents, gifts, and exuberant personality.

She lived in full color.

Her sewing room alone was proof of that! As was so much more, which I’ve written about publicly a few times before.

As I navigated my grief and wondered how I could honor my mom, Spark kept coming to mind. From that point on, I knew what I needed to do. And when obstacles appeared (and trust me, with a live public event, there are too many obstacles to count!), I remembered why I started.

That remembering fuels me today.

This morning when I finished my hike, showered, and headed to the office, I had a newfound sense of energy. I knew I could handle what the day held for me. I remembered why I started, and it kept – and keeps – me going.

So if you find yourself faced with a challenge – whether it’s an unwieldy to-do list or a seemingly solution-less problem or a task that feels beyond your ability to handle – take a step back.

(Or maybe several steps forward, in the form of a walk.)

Breathe deeply a few times.

And remember why you started.

Let that fuel your next best action, and every action going forward, too.

Want to join me for the final Spark? Click here to enroll – Earlybird Rates end this week!

Harshest Critic Or Biggest Fan?

Christi Hegstad October 15th, 2017

“Instead of being your own harshest critic, make the decision to be your biggest fan.”

Cynthia Kersey

Coaching Tip of the Week:

I love teaching coaching skills to managers and leaders in organizations. In addition to learning the science, theory, and art behind a coaching approach, students get the opportunity to practice in a safe setting – a coaching lab, so to speak – then provide and hear feedback from the rest of the group.

Over the years, I’ve noticed a recurring theme – one that probably comes as no surprise to you: We tend to be our own harshest critics. Students can point out myriad flaws in their own coaching, but often have a more difficult time stating what they did well and where they totally rocked.

This week, cheer yourself on.

Take stock of your strengths and gifts, and acknowledge them. When someone compliments you, simply say “Thank you” – then zip it. Resist the urge to counteract or explain it away, and instead celebrate it.

I don’t mean this, of course, in an egotistical, “I am better than you” way – but if you’re anything like my clients and students, I don’t think you need to worry about that anyway.

One of the best ways I’ve found to become your own cheerleader in an authentic, all-encompassing way is to know your purpose. Just like someone with the cure to cancer would never withhold it because “I didn’t want to sound braggy,” when you are clear what you’re here to do and who you can best serve, you can proceed with confidence and grace – and make a great difference while you’re at it.

Win-win!

Uncover your purpose with us at Spark! Earlybird Rates end this week. Click here to join the experience.

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The world – at least my corner of it – needed it.

I wanted to prove to myself that I could actually do it.

My mom and her message.