The Bold Goal Paradox: Moving Beyond Fear of Failure

Christi Hegstad April 16th, 2013

Over the years, I’ve developed a passion for Bold Goals. Not just the small, incremental milestones (although those are wonderful, too), but the “Wow, Did I Just Say That Goal Out Loud? (gasp!)” kinds of goals.

Jim Collins and Jerry Porras, in Built To Last, refer to these as your BHAGs: Big Hairy Audacious Goals. Stephen Covey called them WIGs: Wildly Important Goals. Whatever title you choose, you know they’re BOLD.

One of my favorite aspects of Bold Goals is the transformation that happens to the person setting the goal, and I’ve seen this with clients time and again. When you set a Bold Goal – the kind that stretches you, excites you, and may even seem out of reach at the time – magic starts to happen. 

You start to become the person you need to be to reach that goal.

And with vision, support, and a crisp action plan, you’ll typically reach them.

But sometimes, you’ll set a Bold Goal – or any goal, for that matter – and not reach it.

Surely you’ve experienced that at some point in your life – we all have. In fact, in my Big Dreams, Bold Goals workshops, that’s typically the reason most of the room gives for not setting goals anymore: they’re tired of failing.

Today I want to offer a different perspective. Perhaps a scenario or two will help.

Imagine that your friend sets a goal to lose 100 pounds in a year. He begins exercising and hires a nutrition expert to help revamp his eating. At the end of the year, he has lost 95 pounds. Is he a failure?

Or let’s say another friend generated $50,000 in revenue in her small service business last year, and decides to set a goal this year to double that amount. She streamlines her systems, hires a coach, and at year-end shows a revenue of $90,000. Has she failed?

When I pose these scenarios in those aforementioned workshops, the response is a resounding “No. Of course they haven’t failed.” 

But they didn’t reach the goal. Isn’t that failure?

Can you succeed even when you “fail”?

What response do you think you’d get from your 95-pound-lighter friend, or your $40k-stronger-business friend? Sure, maybe they’d express a bit of frustration (“I was this close!”). But in my experience, those individuals will focus more on the delight, excitement, and expansion they feel from nearly reaching those goals – and becoming stronger and bolder in the process.

I agree with Michelangelo’s famous sentiment: “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark.” 

Side note: I’ve encouraged you to imagine a friend in these scenarios. We tend to serve as our own harshest critics, so envision someone other than yourself in the situation instead. You’ll likely be more objective – and quite possibly, more kind. 😉

Have you ever come really close to achieving a goal – and still felt good about it? What did you gain from that experience? 

Dr. Christi Hegstad helps you successfully do what you love! As a certified business and career coach, she helps leaders get unstuck and reach high-level goals with clarity, confidence, and meaningful action. Learn more at www.meaning-and-purpose.com and follow Dr. Christi on Facebook and Twitter.


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