Every January, year after year, Americans tend to set the same goals and resolutions:
* Lose weight.
* Make more money.
* Get organized.
{Yawn.}
I don’t know about you, but I find those incredibly boring to hear, let alone journey toward!
Which is also why, year after year, so many don’t achieve their goals. Most of us won’t jump out of bed each morning on a quest to accomplish something vague, mundane, ‘should’-based, or meaningless. It’s a recipe for disaster – or at least not for purposeful achievement.
So if you want to know how to set the most boring goals ever, there you go.
If, however, you want this to be your most positive, purposeful year yet – one marked by meaningful actions, difference-making pursuits, and goals that do make you jump out of bed in the morning (even on cold, dark, winter days!) – here are 5 ways to spice them up:
“Last year,” says the owner of XYZ Business, “revenue was $250,000 – so this year, my goal is to increase that by 10%.” This is a common, but boring, goal setting strategy.
Start instead by dreaming of the ideal. What would it look like to lead a million-dollar business? To donate a six-figure check to the charity that speaks to your heart? To innovate so well that your favorite magazine runs a cover story about your organization? Imagine what could be, connect it to your purpose, then set your goals from that space. You can then tweak to make them stretching-but-realistic (though it’s fun to have one or two ‘impossible’ dreams in the mix, too – especially if you have support lined up).
2. Hang out with inspiration.
As goal contagion theory posits, goals are essentially contagious: If you meet weekly with a mastermind group where members are excited about setting, reaching, and discussing their goals, for example, you likely will become so, too. It’s one of the reasons ASPIRE Success Club members experience such extraordinary growth in a year’s time.
Set your goals in the presence of other inspiring people (watch for info on my Feb. 1 Bold Goal training session for a chance to do just this!). Meet for regular updates and mini-celebrations. Hold one another accountable. Feed your inspiration and inspire others along the way.
One reason I find the aforementioned goals so boring is their lack of originality. When you set the same goal as everyone else, especially out of a sense of ‘should,’ you will likely have to search far and wide for any trace of motivation after the first couple of weeks.
Sometimes, we may be assigned a goal – from a supervisor or physician, for example. Even in those instances, we need to connect the goal to our own purpose and clearly understand why it’s important and how we can grow, help others, improve the organization, and/or change the world with it. Not only will this inspire positive action, it will likely keep motivation around much, much longer.
Did you ever see the Seinfeld episode where George Costanza was having such bad luck he decided to do everything the opposite of what he would normally do – resulting in exceptional wins? While I wouldn’t go quite that far, I do suggest shaking things up a bit.
Even the best systems and strategies only tend to work for a period of time before we need to tweak, overhaul, or start anew. Have you always pursued your goals alone? Join a group or hire a coach. Have you always broken your goals down into teeny-tiny steps, only to toss the whole plan out the window as soon as something unexpected occurs? Try laying out only the first three steps for now. For different results, take different actions.
This may seem so basic and, to some, even a questionable use of time – but I guarantee it matters. I open my planner and review my goals first thing every morning when I arrive to the office. If I saw “Get organized” looking back at me, I would likely a) wonder where to start and b) push it aside until ‘someday’ when I had more time.
But if I saw, “I am so happy and grateful that I easily find everything I need to help my clients and my business flourish,” I would want to take action to make that happen – especially if my weekly sub-goal appears right next to it. Use rich, meaningful words that speak to your desired feelings, values, and purpose. You can turn a boring goal into a meaningful, energizing one by simply changing the words you use!
So many of you shared your goals with me during last month’s book giveaway (congratulations also to Ronda C, who won the book!), so I feel 100% confident this will be an incredible year of purposeful achievement! Feel free to let us know what exciting things you’re up to on Instagram or Facebook – you’ll inspire us all!
What is your theme for 2019? What word or phrase do you want to guide your actions, calibrate your goals, and support your best self?
As I’ve shared throughout the year, my 2018 theme has been LIGHT. Whenever things felt heavy, dark, or otherwise un-delightful, I’d ask myself, “What would make this LIGHT?”
Sometimes the answer meant to change it, or change my mindset toward it.
Sometimes it involved decluttering or simplifying.
Sometimes it meant removing it from my work or life altogether.
This has not always been easy; in fact, in many ways, this has been an incredibly challenging year. But I can honestly report that I am wrapping up the year with a lightness I didn’t previously know, and I feel like I am heading into 2019 more clear, focused, and purposeful than I have felt in a long time.
Inspired Action:
This week, create a theme for 2019.
Check out one of my most popular articles for further ideas.
Feel free to share your theme with me!
As I write this, my daughter is studying for final exams at college and my sons are starting to prepare for theirs in high school. I remember vividly the weight those exams can carry, especially if they make up 50% of your semester grade or if you teeter on the border between two grades. It can make my Type A+ recovery slip back a few notches just thinking about it!
So my heart skipped a beat back in the early 2000s when I first read The Art of Possibility, a transformational book by therapist and coach Rosamund Stone Zander and Boston Philharmonic conductor Ben Zander. I re-read it a few years ago when we selected it as an ASPIRE Success Club pick, and something that stood out both times involves the idea of an automatic ‘A’.
At the start of the semester, Ben announced to his Conservatory students that everyone would get an A in the course – with one important requirement:
“Sometime during the next two weeks, you must write me a letter dated next May, which begins with the words, ‘Dear Mr. Zander, I got my A because…,’ and in this letter you are to tell, in as much detail as you can, the story of what will have happened to you by next May that is in line with this extraordinary grade.” (The Art of Possibility, p. 27)
Students are encouraged to place themselves firmly in the future, looking back, as they write their letters.
I have our ASPIRE members do something similar each year and the feedback is so moving. Many completely forget about their letters; upon receiving them in the mail 11 months later, they are astounded at their own foresight and the power of an intentional mindset.
As you prepare for a new year, close your eyes and imagine that it is December 31, 2019. You are looking back over a successful and purposeful year where things worked out smoothly and beautifully for you. What are you celebrating? How do you feel? What contributed to your outstanding 2019 experience?
Capture it all on paper. Then use that as visionary support as you create your goals and action plans for 2019.
One of the lines I have dog-eared, highlighted, starred, tabbed, and underlined in the book is this: “This A is not an expectation to live up to, but a possibility to live into.”
Breathe that in, my friends. No expectation, no judgment, no pressure. Just expansive possibility.
Let’s make 2019 the most positive and purposeful year yet! Who’s with me?
Coaching Tip:
“Because that’s the way we’ve always done it.”
Do those words make anyone else groan?
Yet how willing are you to invite change into your ways of doing and being?
As I mentioned in last week’s Clarity Kickstart, the same old thinking leads to the same old results. If we want to experience new, better, more magical results, we need to do things differently.
And maybe even do the unexpected.
I am all for creating a little magic these days. How about you?
Inspired Action:
This week, do something unexpected. Some simple ideas:
Instead of starting your staff meeting with the typical agenda review, ask each person to share one thing they’re looking forward to between now and the end of the year.
Rather than a standard strategic planning meeting for the new year, bring in a knowledgeable coach to conduct an appreciative inquiry session.
Give the gift of wonder: Invite an actual magician to your organization’s holiday party.
Write an unsolicited testimonial for a small business, or share one of their posts on social media along with your positive commentary. You might be surprised how incredibly meaningful this act can be!
For most of my life, for reasons unknown (though I often see perfectionism raising her hand for attention ??♀️), I have struggled with asking for help. Whether it’s stubbornness or pride or wild independence or wanting to prove to myself that I can figure out / solve / do everything on my own, reaching out for help has not come easily for me.
But when I look at the last decade or so, as I’ve become more comfortable – well, at least less UNcomfortable – with admitting that I don’t have to figure everything out on my own, I marvel at what that has brought me. Not only the achievements but the sense of permission, boldness, and grace I can now afford myself. The joy I have found in partnering with my coaches, learning from my mentors, and growing alongside my peers.
It’s been so much more flowing – and a heck of a lot more fun – than when I was in constant head-down-and-figure-it-out mode!
One of best decisions I made was joining a group of inspiring people who were open to (gasp!) asking for help *and* to receiving it. Those early mastermind partners and coaches taught me that I could seek their help and they were happy to offer it.
They didn’t see my ask as weakness.
They didn’t view my lack of knowledge as inability.
They accepted my discomfort with my own vulnerability without assumption or judgment.
I can never repay enough those who have lifted me up and allowed me to do the same for them. But one of the ways I attempt to is through leading groups designed for this same purpose: to create a safe space for openness, to support one another in meaningful achievement, to discuss important – at times even controversial, difficult, or sensitive – topics with respect and honesty and curiosity. Even though I facilitate the group, it is the women of the ASPIRE Success Club that make it the haven and joyful growth experience that it is.
If you’d like to be a part of this, or want an important woman in your life to experience it, act now – TODAY IS THE FINAL DAY TO JOIN. The details are on the website, and the spirit is in the heart of hundreds of ASPIRE women around the country and beyond!
Today, according to the Insight Timer app, I am celebrating 46 consecutive days of meditation.
To most of the world, this may not seem particularly blog-worthy, but for someone who resisted meditation for a long time, then attempted – for the last decade or so – to establish some sort of meditative practice but never lasting more than a handful of days, this feels pretty substantial!
This in no way makes me qualified to speak on meditation other than sharing my own practice, so that’s what I’d like to do here in case you, too, have been attempting to weave meditation into your life and can find something here that resonates with you. My experience has been influenced by a few key components:
This fall, I invited Allison Peet of From Within Wellness to lead some members of the ASPIRE Success Club in a meditation mini-workshop. Allison is a qualified MBSR™ (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) Instructor trained at UMass Medical Center for Mindfulness founded by Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD. The peacefulness I felt after our time with Allison was the kickstart I needed to invite meditation a bit more regularly into my life.
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I say “oddly enough” because I am not an app person at all – I have less than a dozen installed on my phone and rarely use any of them other than Instagram. But Insight Timer has come up in ASPIRE Success Club discussions many times over the years, so I downloaded it a few years back and experimented now and then. For the past couple of months, however, I have become more focused with it – using search terms like “future self” or “confidence” or “relaxation,” depending on what I’m seeking – and playing with the guided meditations that appear. I am loving it!
Sitting vs. lying down. Group vs. solo. Guided vs. independent. Focus on a mantra or visual vs. focus on the breath. I have done a great deal of experimenting! One of my favorite approaches to incorporate periodically is a gong bath meditation, which Deb Jennings of Sounds for the Soul leads with her colleagues. I’m not sure I could accurately describe the experience, but I leave it feeling refreshed and soothed, and I always sleep extremely well that night! Deb has also led ASPIRE members in unique sound healing activities – they are always beautiful and deep experiences.
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I’ve read several on the topics of meditation and mindfulness, but two in particular really made an impact – both of which I’ve written about previously: Mindfulness by Mark Williams and Danny Penman, and 10% Happier by Dan Harris.
I will write another post about the benefits I have experienced from my practice, but suffice it to say they have truly surprised me. As someone with daily journal and prayer practices, frequent nature walks, and other regular contemplative acts, I wasn’t expecting much to change from incorporating meditation. The results have been profound and noticeable – enough to keep me returning every day.
Do you have a meditation practice? What has helped you keep it going? Feel free to share your thoughts below!
We learn so much in the ASPIRE Success Club! Come join us – but hurry: Enrollment closes on Friday, November 30!
I have learned this truth the hard way. Multiple times over, in fact!
If you have too, it’s time to ask yourself an important question: How can I do things differently?
Think of it this way:
Every day, when your kiddo comes home from school, you might ask, “How was your day?”
And every day, you might hear, “Fine.”
And every day, you might wonder, why doesn’t he open up more? Why doesn’t she give me some detail?
Then one day, you ask a different question.
“What’s one thing you learned today?”
“Who did you speak with today that you usually don’t?”
“What made you laugh today?”
Boom. Take a different action, get a different result.
This week, consider where you most want to grow, and do something new.
Maybe that means:
Sharing your message via video instead of a blog post.
Starting your day with journaling instead of social media.
Hiring a professional to accelerate your results instead of trying to figure it out on your own.
Joining the 2019 ASPIRE Success Club before enrollment closes on Friday.
If you are frustrated or discouraged by your results (or lack thereof), don’t lose heart. Just take a different action.