Is This The Best Way To Solve A Problem?

Christi Hegstad April 19th, 2020

I closed our ASPIRE Success Club meetings last week sharing this line from Marie Forleo’s book, Everything Is Figureoutable. You’ve probably heard something similar before, right? Change your beliefs, change your life?

Could it really be this simple?

Sure, we need to take action and secure support and engage other success principles. But if we don’t first believe something is possible, we are far less likely to take those actions and experience the desired outcomes.

This week, practice a new, growth-oriented belief or question.

For example:

Instead of “I’ll never solve this,” ask yourself, “How might I solve this?”

Instead of “I don’t know what to do,” ask yourself, “If I consulted an expert, what might they advise me to do?”

Instead of “Everything seems so difficult,” ask yourself, “What’s one simple action I could take?” or “What would make this easier?” or “How might I make this feel lighter or more enjoyable?”

If you feel yourself following a closed-off or less-than-helpful belief, try switching it around or asking a question that invites possibility instead. Let me know how it goes!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC is the Certified Executive + Personal Coach for difference-making achievers! Clarify your vision, free up time, and confidently reach bold goals with meaning and purpose! Contact us today for coaching, speaking, and Mastermind opportunities, or click here and fill in the blue box to join our email community.

Does A Positive Life Allow For Not-So-Positive Feelings?

Christi Hegstad April 13th, 2020

“You always seem so positive. Do you ever feel down, worried, overwhelmed?”

Several of you have asked how I am handling this season. Today I want to take a moment to respond.

I am – like you, I suspect – experiencing the range of emotions that accompany change and uncertainty.

I am also reminding myself that, although certainly amplified right now, change and uncertainty are always present in our lives, and we are continually learning to navigate them.

In addition to the strategies I share regularly on social media and my blog, here are a few things I am finding helpful in this season:

Engaging in mindset work. Journaling, self-talk, choosing – and re-choosing – my dominant intention for the day, for example.

Dwelling in gratitude. It’s been scientifically proven, many times over, to be a mood-lifter and a meaning-maker, and if I’m going to dwell on something this seems a helpful choice.

Leaning deeply into my purpose. This is *always* the lighthouse I return to, continually reminding me who and how I wish to be in the world. (If you’d like more on this, join my email community ASAP.)

Walking. A lot. Often with a mantra, focal point (ie, birds singing or buds on trees), prayer, or an inspiring podcast.

Using my strengths to serve. I feel more empowered when I am helping to empower others.

I am also honoring little things that bring a sense of order, like making my bed, tidying my workspace, and engaging in my morning practice.

Positivity isn’t about constant rainbows and unicorns. ? I feel the full range of life’s emotions – acknowledging them, allowing them, and then asking where I want to go from there. I also reach out for help, magnify optimism, and try to shower myself and others with grace.

How about you? What ideas, mindsets, or practices are you finding most helpful these days?

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC is the Certified Executive + Personal Coach for difference-making achievers! Clarify your vision, free up time, and confidently reach bold goals with meaning and purpose! Contact us today for coaching, speaking, and Mastermind opportunities, or click here and fill in the blue box to join our email community.

Tell Yourself A Different Story

Christi Hegstad April 7th, 2020

There’s a funny and oh-so-true meme that has made its way around the internet many times over:

Pretty accurate, wouldn’t you say? 🙂

The fact is, just saying “Change how you feel” typically won’t change how you feel. We need to start with a shift in mindset.

And we need to do it in a way we can actually believe.

How To Tell A Different Story

Our thoughts and beliefs (aka, our mindset) form our feelings. In turn, our feelings fuel our actions and behaviors.

At its most basic, the formula might look something like this:

THOUGHTS –> FEELINGS –> ACTIONS and BEHAVIORS

Changing our thoughts in the height of emotion can be challenging – kind of like being told to calm down when you feel anything but calm. However, with practice and a little forethought, it becomes easier.

To start forming a new approach, here’s what I suggest:

Pull out a journal, notebook, or piece of paper, and draw a line down the center forming two columns on your page.

In the left column, jot down some of the thoughts or feelings that tend to resurface for you but do not serve you. Some I’m hearing in my coaching practice these days include:

> “I am overwhelmed.”

> “I am worried about…”

> “I’ve never done this before – I don’t know how.”

Maybe even carry your notebook around with you for a while so you can record thoughts as they come.

Then, at a time when you are feeling strong, easeful, or capable, start ‘writing a new story’ in the right hand column. In other words, write a replacement sentence for each one in the left column – a statement that feels more helpful, purposeful, supportive.

Some examples:

“I am so unorganized.” —> “I am becoming more organized.”

Mindset shift: If a label doesn’t serve you, let it go – or rephrase it in a way that does serve you.

“Why did I waste so much time today?” —> “What will I do differently tomorrow?”

Mindset shift: Instead of letting your past define you, focus on how you are creating a different future.

“I don’t know how.” —> “I will learn as I go.”

Mindset shift: Fact is, there are countless things you haven’t known how to do in your lifetime. Recall some of those and examine how you figured them out.

“I should…” —> “I will.” or “I won’t.”

Mindset shift: ‘Should’ can be such a guilt-inducing word. Replace it with a decision.

“I am overwhelmed.” —> “One thing I can do right now is…”

Mindset shift: Sometimes the next right step can be the best frame of focus.

“I feel so stressed.” —> “I invite calm.”

Mindset shift: Decide what you’d like to feel instead, then focus your attention on inviting it into your life.

“I am worried about…” —> “I am thankful for…”

Mindset shift: In study after study, gratitude is a proven mindset-shifter and meaning-maker. Make a list of things you’re thankful for and review it / add to it daily.

“Everything feels out of control.” —> “What are 3 things in my control right now?”

Mindset shift: You have more within your realm of influence than you may realize. Watch for absolutes like ‘everything,’ ‘nothing,’ or ‘always,’ and learn to start questioning them.

“I wish I could…” —> “I am glad I can…”

Mindset shift: Maybe due to quarantine, injury, or other circumstances, your plans have changed. Remind yourself of all you can do – maybe even things that you wouldn’t have done otherwise.

Keep it simple, and keep it believable. For example, you’ll notice I didn’t reframe “I feel so stressed” to “I never feel stress, ever!” but rather an invitation to a feeling other than stress.

The saying is true: When we change our thoughts, we change our whole experience. What thought isn’t serving you right now – and with what can you replace it? Share below or on Facebook or Instagram – you’ll be helping others, too!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC is the Certified Executive + Personal Coach for difference-making achievers! Clarify your vision, free up time, and confidently reach bold goals with meaning and purpose! Contact us today for coaching, speaking, and Mastermind opportunities, or click here and fill in the blue box to join our email community.

12 Quotes To Inspire Positive Action

Christi Hegstad April 6th, 2020

I recently shared on social media the last three words of my Purpose Statement:

Inspire Positive Action!

Below are twelve quotes that inspire me into positive action, and I hope they do the same for you!

You have so many strengths, gifts, and talents – please don’t hold them back!

Turn that elusive ‘someday’ into today.

Just start – even if it’s an imperfect start.

Focus your energy and attention on what you’d like to see more of in the world.

Like a lighthouse that stands strong and shines bright regardless of the circumstances around it, so too is our purpose. (P.S. Want to write your own personal Purpose Statement? Make sure you’re on our mailing list to receive word of our next coaching group!)

Make decisions from a place of strength and beauty.

You can be both strong and gentle – and both will serve you well.

View failure as one of many stepping stones of success – one to be embraced rather than feared or avoided.

No need to compare yourself to anyone; just strive to be your best self!

How do YOU define a beautiful day?

Even when much seems out of your control, you always have the power to choose your mindset.

An especially helpful reminder during these current times, am I right?

Wishing you a day – and a life! – filled with meaning, purpose, and positive action!

Let me know on Instagram or Facebook which one speaks to you the most!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC is the Certified Executive + Personal Coach for difference-making achievers! Clarify your vision, free up time, and confidently reach bold goals with meaning and purpose! Contact us today for coaching, speaking, and Mastermind opportunities, or click here and fill in the blue box to join our email community.

Ten Ways To Stay Purposeful At Any Time

Christi Hegstad April 2nd, 2020

In times of massive change, when even our most carefully-laid plans seem to fly out the window, we can easily feel like we’re on shaky ground, about to lose our footing.

Fortunately, even in those times, certain constants remain hearty and true in our lives. One such thing: Your purpose.

If you are feeling a bit wonky these days, perhaps one or a combination of these ideas will help you return to your ‘true north’ whenever you feel the need:

1. Pause before speaking / acting.

One of the greatest life distinctions we can learn is the one between ‘react’ and ‘respond.’ This can be especially helpful in times of tension or high emotion. Practice pausing – even just for a few moments – and choosing, with intention, your response.

2. Plan and prioritize your day.

Changing times can make planning a challenge, but the fact of the matter is, we always were and always will be adapting to changes. Mapping out key components of your day, such as identifying your Daily Top 3, can bring focus and deliberate action into your schedule.

3. Look for meaning.

Whenever we embark on something new, we often experience a burst of growth and energy at the start, followed by a dip, before reaching the goal or moving to the next level. That dip might include uncertainty, feeling stuck, discomfort … I often refer to this as the ‘messy middle’ with coaching clients. Seek meaning in the mess by asking yourself, “What am I learning? What are the lessons here?”

4. Help someone else.

“There are countless people out there who need the gifts that you and you alone are here to give,” writes Marie Forleo in her empowering book, Everything Is Figureoutable, and I wholeheartedly agree. Teach a skill, offer a kind word, donate time or treasure, share a social media post, ask “How can I help you?” You can make a difference in more ways than you know!

5. Review your Purpose Statement.

I do this on a daily basis and it never fails to bring me back to center. You may not always feel like you know what to do, but your Purpose Statement reminds you of who and how you wish to be in the world regardless. Let this serve as your guide when making decisions, choosing actions, or even simply returning to a place of calm knowing. (If you don’t have a written Purpose Statement, join my email community for upcoming opportunities!)

6. Connect with your core values.

One of my core values is growth, so I make sure I am growing and/or helping others grow on a daily basis. This growth could take place in any number of ways: reading, teaching, practicing a skill, trying something new… Define your core values, then look for and design ways to honor them.

7. Continue, or begin, your own morning practice.

How you start the day can set the tone for your day, so choose to start it on purpose! This can be as simple as a 2-minute gratitude practice before emerging from bed to a more detailed mindset/heartset practice. There’s no one right way – the best morning practice is the one you will actually do!

8. Engage in other daily practices, too.

We’ve been discussing this in the ASPIRE Success Club and helpful daily practices might include anything from meditation to going for a run to creating a meal plan to making your bed. Determine which actions help you feel strong and purposeful, then make a point to engage in one or more of them daily.

9. Move your body.

Stretching, lifting weights (or weighted items, like a bag of flour, at home), jumping rope … however feels good to move, move! I have gotten into the practice lately of what I call ‘mantra walks’: I choose a brief phrase and repeat it over and over with each footstep. Your body/mind/spirit connection is an important component of purposefulness.

10. Imagine yourself as ‘advisor’.

When you find yourself in doubt or questioning what to do, ask yourself, “What would I advise my child / partner / best friend to do in this situation?” This brings a level of objectivity while keeping you connected to your own inner wisdom, values, and purpose.

With all of these ideas plus those you generate for yourself, you might weave one word throughout: grace. Do your best. Seek your answers within. And shower yourself and others with extensive amounts of grace.

What helps you feel purposeful? Add your ideas below!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC is the Certified Executive + Personal Coach for difference-making achievers! Clarify your vision, free up time, and confidently reach bold goals with meaning and purpose! Contact us today for coaching, speaking, and Mastermind opportunities, or click here and fill in the blue box to join our email community.

Everything Is Figureoutable: A Few Book Takeaways

Christi Hegstad April 1st, 2020

“You never get stronger if you only do easy things,” writes Marie Forleo. Does anyone feel like they must be gaining super-strength lately?

I am re-reading Forleo’s wonderfully empowering book, Everything Is Figureoutable, in preparation for some coaching and facilitation work this month. I love her no-nonsense, no-excuses approach reminding us that we are resourceful, capable, and stronger than we realize.

She also emphasizes the power and importance of BELIEF: Believing in ourselves and our ability to figure things out, even if we don’t always feel like we have the answers.

Think of the people you admire who have made a difference in our world. “Could you imagine,” she asks, “if Malala Yousafzai felt she wasn’t old enough, privileged enough, or strong enough to champion girls’ education?” It all starts with our belief, with our mindset. And this is something we can change, influence, and strengthen – even when things around us feel uncontrollable and/or as if they are changing at a rapid pace.

“There are countless people out there who need the gifts that you and you alone are here to give,” writes Forleo, and I wholeheartedly agree. A strengthening and empowering book for sure!

Do you believe everything is figureoutable? What might change if you adopted that belief for a while?

Share your thoughts on Instagram or Facebook!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC is the Certified Executive + Personal Coach for difference-making achievers! Clarify your vision, free up time, and confidently reach bold goals with meaning and purpose! Contact us today for coaching, speaking, and Mastermind opportunities, or click here and fill in the blue box to join our email community.

Inviting Inner Calm

Christi Hegstad March 25th, 2020

Every day or so, I am posting a Connection Question over on my Facebook business page. Sometimes they are coaching questions, sometimes mindset or positive psychology-related questions, and sometimes just-for-fun questions. My hope is that these prompts help you connect with your own wisdom and purpose, as well as with others in our outstanding and purposeful community. Feel free to join the conversation!

Today’s question: What brings you a sense of inner calm?

If you feel a bit wonky these days, you are not alone. This is a beautiful time to continue – or perhaps start – some practices that serve you well. Below you’ll find over 3 dozen ideas to consider:

Start a Positivity, Gratitude, and/or Success Journal

Stretch

Help empower someone

Read something inspirational

Visualize

Meditate (Insight Timer can be a great place to start!)

Meaningfully connect with someone

Smile for 30 seconds

Exercise

Clean up your space (desk or reading nook, for example)

Set a daily intention

Pray

Create (ie, paint, write a song, bake bread)

Record 3 gratitudes

Remember and focus on what you can influence

Take an action toward (or set) a goal

Sing

Organize something (a bookshelf, for example)

Pet a dog or cat

Write and/or recite affirmations

Mindfully take in your surroundings

Ask ‘How might I help someone today?’

Go for a walk (outdoors if possible)

Take some fun or clever photos

Do a power pose

Talk with an uplifting friend

Draw / doodle

Be a conscious consumer

Share ridiculous jokes with a friend or family member

Dance

Write in a journal

Listen to an uplifting audiobook, podcast, or affirmation reading

Tend your plants

Make a list of joyful and/or calming activities

State a mantra

Declutter

Take deep intentional breaths

Write (or read) a poem

Laugh

Take a bath

Choose a healthy new habit to start

Reach your arms to the sky for a few moments

Savor a beverage or food item

Put your hands on your heart

Review your vision statement, purpose statement, values

Ask yourself, “What do I need in this moment?”

Which one resonates most with you? Which one would you add? Share your thoughts on Facebook! And know that I am cheering for you, supporting you, and wishing you a day and a life filled with meaning and purpose.

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC is the Certified Executive + Personal Coach for difference-making achievers! Clarify your vision, free up time, and confidently reach bold goals with meaning and purpose! Contact us today for coaching, speaking, and Mastermind opportunities, or click here and fill in the blue box to join our email community.

Gaining Strength Within Challenge

Christi Hegstad March 24th, 2020

Certain times call on our inner resources in new ways.

We may be navigating various emotions, making unique decisions, and exploring different territories.

And, perhaps without even realizing it, getting stronger in the process.

This week, remember your strength.

A few things that may help:

Consider challenges you have navigated in the past. What tools, resources, mindset shifts, actions, and/or beliefs helped you?

Continue, or develop, practices that support your strength, such as positive self-talk, movement, music, or a morning or evening routine, for example.

Ask yourself new questions, such as: What would help me feel strong today? How can I make the most of this very moment?

Experiment with various ways to connect with others such as phone, text, Zoom, FaceTime, writing letters, and myriad others.

Consider leaning into things like optimism, peacefulness, kindness, random smiling, and so on.

At times when it feels like much is out of our control, we can benefit from focusing on what we CAN do. I recently posted a blog sharing 50 such things – feel free to read it here, use what serves you, and add your ideas to the list!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC is the Certified Executive + Personal Coach for difference-making achievers! Clarify your vision, free up time, and confidently reach bold goals with meaning and purpose! Contact us today for coaching, speaking, and Mastermind opportunities, or click here and fill in the blue box to join our email community.

What Can You Do? Here Are 50 Ideas To Get You Started.

Christi Hegstad March 21st, 2020

How do you feel when you focus on all the things you cannot do, control, change, improve, or implement?

How about when you focus on all the things you actually CAN do?

Here’s a pretty accurate depiction for me: 🙂

In times of uncertainty, challenge yourself to focus on all the things you can do. Below I share 50 examples to get you started – some focused on personal growth, others on professional development.

Not all of them may necessarily apply to you, but feel free to choose one or two that do. Better yet, use this as a launch pad for your own list of ideas!

1. Choose your mindset. You cannot always choose what happens but you can choose your response. There is power in knowing, and reminding yourself of, this.

2. Write a thank you note. For whom are you especially grateful right now? Send a note to a teacher, healthcare provider, researcher, grocery store clerk, delivery person, or whomever comes to mind for you.

3. Read. Books, novels, industry publications – set up a comfortable nook and make reading part of your daily practice.

4. Volunteer. Reach out to your favorite nonprofit and ask what they need. Your service may look a little different at the moment, but even sharing social media posts can help raise awareness. Financial donations can make a significant difference, too.

5. Be a conscious consumer. Decide, with intention, how – and how much – information you will take in. Choose your sources of this info as well.

6. Brainstorm. Create a Breakthrough Map around new ideas, projects, services, product possibilities, systems, or anything else that needs unlocking.

7. Create a schedule. Decide a few things things you want to make a priority each day (movement, reading, or meditation, for example) and set up a new schedule for yourself.

8. Write reviews, testimonials, and endorsements. This can be a simple but powerful way to support your favorite professionals and small businesses.

9. Share helpful hints. For example, use your social media platforms to share 3 things you’re finding helpful right now. Use your voice to inspire and uplift.

10. Learn a new skill. What have you always wanted to learn but felt you haven’t had time for? Maybe now’s the time! Think personal, professional, creative, relational – any area at all.

11. Advance a current skill. Personal, professional, interpersonal, goal-related – build your reservoir of skills and strengths.

12. Meet colleagues, friends, or family members for virtual coffee dates. Using FaceTime, Zoom, or other similar technology feels almost like you’re right in the room with them! You can still see each others’ faces, catch each others’ nonverbals, and engage in meaningful discussion.

13. Start a project. That article or book you’ve been thinking about writing? That class you’ve wanted to create? That service you’ve thought about launching? Give it a kickstart!

14. Listen to podcasts. I have spent many of my driving, walking, and laundry hours over the past few years learning from – or laughing with – podcasts! Check your favorite podcast app, download a few, and discover ones you enjoy!

15. Pitch yourself to podcasts. If you already have some favorite podcasts and also have a great message to share, reach out to see if you might become a guest. You might even look into starting your own.

16. Enroll in a course. Countless classes and programs are now available online via universities, businesses, art platforms, and more. Many of them are free of charge, and some may help you fulfill continuing education requirements in your industry.

17. Begin a morning routine. Decide what will help you wake up feeling positive and purposeful, then commit to it daily. Here’s a detailed overview of my morning routine if you’re looking for ideas!

18. Begin an evening routine, too. Explore what supports your peaceful wind-down and sleep. Examples might include reading, a warm beverage, soft music, bath, putting away electronics, or myriad others.

19. Get active on LinkedIn. Update your profile, seek out groups in your industry, add ideas and solutions to conversations.

20. Laugh. Whether funny movies, comedian sketches, humorous podcasts, or sharing hilarious stories with others, experience the many benefits of a good laugh.

21. Conduct informational interviews. Is there a field, industry, leadership practice, or something else that you’d like to learn more about? Generate your questions and set up phone interviews to learn more.

22. Secure support. You don’t have to go it alone! Hire a coach, find an accountability partner, join a like-minded group, and/or obtain the support that will serve you best.

23. Research. Delve into topics from industry trends to findings in sales psychology to how to grow your subscriber list and beyond.

24. Learn a new technology. Canva, Google Analytics, Facebook Live – pick one and see how you can use it for personal or professional growth.

25. Engage in self-discovery. Journaling can be a great place to start! Click here for some prompts if you want to start a journal but aren’t sure what to write.

26. Spiritually connect. Pray, read spiritual texts, seek out daily devotionals, and/or otherwise engage in the spiritual practices that best serve you.

27. Walk. In nature if you can, otherwise on the treadmill or even a few brisk laps around your living room. Movement can get your creative juices flowing in addition to providing numerous other benefits.

28. Take virtual tours. You can find many online for national parks, cities you plan to visit in the future, and more.

29. Mentor someone. Offer to share your time and expertise with an emerging leader in your organization, industry, or community.

30. Plan a goal. What is something you want to accomplish in the next few years? Begin mapping out your possible action steps.

31. Organize your photos. Maybe not alllll your photos 🙂 but choose a segment of them to sort, arrange, and/or display.

32. Practice a craft. Doodle, sew, paint, play an instrument. Engage different parts of your body and your brain.

33. Watch TED Talks. You can enter a subject (ie, leadership), author, or other criteria into the search function and find any number of succinct and inspiring lessons.

34. Write inspiring chalk messages on your sidewalk. (Thank you, neighbor, for this added delight to my walk today!) If you can’t get outside, pull out your crayons, colored pencils, or markers and make some inspiring posters instead.

35. Declutter. A closet, home office, junk drawer, kitchen cabinet… Clear away the excess and see if it renews your energy!

36. Write a ‘tips sheet’ in your area of expertise. You could even create a list of funny movies, inspiring books, or other helpful resources. Share with people who could benefit.

37. Do a jigsaw puzzle. If you don’t have one (or if you’re not a fan), consider crossword puzzles, sudoku, or other funtivities that engage your mind in different ways.

38. Be a pen pal. Write and mail a fun, uplifting note to a friend. Knowing that you’re boosting someone else’s spirits will likely boost yours, too.

39. Complete a satisfying task. And maybe choose one you’ve been procrastinating on. My ceiling fans are in dire need of a wipe-down – not my favorite chore but one that will feel good to complete!

40. Create a vision board. Consider your dreams and goals, find or create pictures to represent them, and glue them to a board that you can look at every day for inspiration.

41. Try a new recipe. Or pull out an old favorite. Or create your own!

42. Meditate. It took me a while (a long while!) to get into meditation, but I’m so grateful I finally did. You can learn my experience and resources here.

43. Get your in-box to zero. If not zero, pick a number that feels good and reasonable to you and go for that.

44. Clean up your digital space. While you’re at #43, think of other things you could minimize or delete on your computer or phone: unnecessary apps, unused icons, or email subscriptions you never read, to name a few.

45. Seek support. Remember, you don’t have to go it alone. Connect with a professional, accountability partner, supervisor, or whomever may best meet your needs. Counselors and therapists, too!

46. Tend to your plants. If you don’t have any, look at a gardening catalog or website and decide which plants ‘speak’ to you the most.

47. Start a blog. Then share learnings, experiences, fashion trends, craft ideas, or other info that might help uplift others.

48. Organize one area. Maybe your utensil drawer, your books, or your notes from the various trainings you’ve attended. Choose a realistic-sized area and get it straightened up.

49. Just be. This does not always come easily for achievers, but encourage yourself to be, feel, relax. Even just slowly savoring a cup of coffee can become a soothing act in and of itself.

50. Ask yourself, “What’s one thing I can do in this moment?”

Which one speaks to you most right away? What others would you add? Share your ideas below, or on Instagram or Facebook!

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC is the Certified Executive + Personal Coach for difference-making achievers! Clarify your vision, free up time, and confidently reach bold goals with meaning and purpose! Contact us today for coaching, speaking, and Mastermind opportunities, or click here and fill in the blue box to join our email community.

A Tool For Times Of Uncertainty

Christi Hegstad March 16th, 2020

For the past twenty years or so, I have relied on a simple but incredibly empowering tool to help me navigate challenging, uncertain, or downright difficult times. For nearly as long, I have walked countless coaching clients through this tool as well.

I have witnessed this process support people through numerous unexpected difficulties: job losses, health diagnoses, changes in relationship, parenting issues, business upsets, financial hardships … you name it, I have probably drawn two circles on a page to address it.

I call these the Power Circles, and I adapted them from a resource shared in the phenomenal book – one of my all-time favorites – First Things First (Stephen Covey, A. Roger Merrill, Rebecca R. Merrill, Free Press, 1994).

Here’s how it works:

Draw a good-sized circle in the center of a page, then draw a slightly larger circle around it. Label the outer one your Circle of Concern and the center one your Circle of Influence.

Circle of Concern

Let’s start with the outer Circle of Concern. Here is where you can write anything that’s troubling you about the situation, but that you don’t really have any control over. These might include worries, frustrations, fears, ‘what if’ scenarios, ‘why me / why now?’ questions, and anything else that comes to mind.

I often refer to the Circle of Concern as our ‘reactive mode’ circle. It might include those initial feelings that come with change as well as those lingering worries that occupy precious space in our minds.

Get them out of your head and onto paper. We aren’t here to pretend that those things don’t exist, nor to judge ourselves for feeling what we feel. We just want to make sure we focus the majority of our energy where it will best serve us.

Circle of Influence

Now let’s focus on the inner Circle of Influence. Here we’ll do something similar, however this time we’re writing down any and all things we can do to change, improve, alter, or otherwise impact the situation or some small part therein.

When you’re in the midst of a difficult time, this proactive focus doesn’t always come easily – but challenge yourself to do it anyway. You can also seek input from your coach or trusted others. Get as many ideas onto paper as you can; you are not committing to all of them, you’re simply brainstorming (or what I heard recently referred to as ‘heartstorming’ – I like that :-)).

I will admit, part of me really wants to call this the Circle of Control, because that languaging – ‘focus on what’s in your control’ – tends to help in times of uncertainty. But as Covey et al explains, when we focus our energy over time on that center circle, “We find positive ways to influence more people and circumstances.” We can’t necessarily control people and circumstances, but we can influence them – or our relationship with them.

The great thing about focusing on the Circle of Influence is that as we do, it actually expands – making the Circle of Concern smaller at the same time.

I like to imagine my mind in this way, too: The more I come up with solutions and actions, the less space available for my concerns and worries.

A Timely Example

The other morning, I woke up concerned – like all of you, I’m sure – about our current pandemic situation. I acknowledged my feelings, then started asking myself some questions:

What can I do?

How can I help?

What actions can I take?

I pulled out my journal and – you guessed it – drew two circles.

I began with the outer Circle of Concern. I imagine my concerns are similar to yours, so I won’t delve into detail with them here. After listing a handful in my journal, I knew it was time to shift gears.

I then challenged myself to come up with a variety of actions I/we could take, things we could focus on, ideas that might help. Again, this is not a to-do list or commitment page; it’s a brainstorm/heartstorm.

Here are some that appeared on my list:

1. Make mindset practices part of your routine: Journaling, daily intention, gratitudes, affirmations, e.g.

2. Engage in the physical health practices that serve you: Nutrition, exercise, sleep, e.g.

3. Develop a personal mantra: A quick phrase you can memorize and repeat as needed, such as “This too shall pass” or “What can I do in this very moment?”

4. Mindfully choose where you get your information. And how much, too.

5. Review your personal track record. You’ve likely been through countless challenges and difficulties throughout your life. What has helped you through them?

6. Review our collective track record. Our communities, countries, and world have faced challenges and difficulties in the past as well. What has helped in those times?

7. Surround yourself with positive, solution-oriented people. Everyone may experience myriad emotions at any time, of course, but having conversations around the Circle of Influence can do wonders for our energy, mood, and sense of personal agency.

8. Ask “How can I/we…” questions. This type of open-ended questioning increases your likelihood of generating solutions rather than lingering in less-helpful modes.

9. Check in with people: Friends, family, loved ones, those who might not have someone calling or texting them.

10. Embrace Mr. Rogers’ wisdom to “look for the helpers”: Care providers, researchers, responders, people supporting the homeless, scientists, teachers looking for different ways to support their students, therapists, grocery store workers… There are countless helpers!

11. Continue (or develop) a morning practice. How you begin the day will often set the tone for your day. Journaling, exercise, prayer, meditation, visualization, and many other options exist.

12. Donate to or otherwise support causes making a difference. I’ve also talked with many people purchasing gift cards from small businesses that must temporarily close – such a meaningful gesture.

13. Set boundaries: With social media, news sites, and internet, for example.

14. Practice personal hygiene and care: Wash your hands and honor the recommendations placed by the experts, for example.

15. Engage in proactive and positive self-talk. #3 and #8 can help with this.

16. Honor your spiritual practices. Prayer, meditation, and/or other actions that connect you to your faith.

17. Innovate/Find new ways of doing things. How can you adapt your gym workout to your current surroundings, for example? Or how could you continue to support your team even if you’re not in the office together?

18. Be a role model/voice of calm for others. As written in First Things First, “We may not be the leader, but we are a leader.” Lead with compassion, kindness, optimism, and/or whatever rises to the surface for you. Somebody is paying attention (probably many somebodies).

19. Be kind. Trust that everyone is doing the best they can, even if their methods don’t match yours.

20. Be a conscious consumer, in all ways: Information, purchases, etc.

21. Consider – and invite more of – what calms you: Music, crafts, repetitive actions like sewing or cross-stitching, funny movies, e.g.

22. Feel your feelings, choose your mindset. Don’t judge yourself for however you feel. And employ your power to choose your mindset.

23. Look for positives, lessons, bright spots. Maybe you’re eating dinner as a family, or maybe you witnessed a beautiful act of kindness (there have been so many). Challenge yourself to seek out silver linings.

24. Create a schedule – or at least a framework – with family, roommates, coworkers who may now be working remotely, e.g.

25. Brainstorm ways to meaningfully use your time. Declutter your closet, play a game with your family member, organize your home office, learn a new skill, practice an instrument, read, bake, create, do something you’ve put off for ages.

26. Create your own list of possible actions! You can do this alone and/or with your family, team members, or others.

Moving Forward

Here’s how I picture this:

When faced with a challenge – whether it’s what we collectively are navigating as a world or something in your own work or life – instead of throwing your hands up in fear or frustration, open your hands up and invite solutions.

Ask yourself new questions. Challenge yourself to generate solutions, ideas, and possibilities. Focus on what you can influence, not on what you cannot.

Be gentle with yourself and others.

Empower yourself and others.

Let’s move through this together!

P.S. You can watch my video about this tool here.

What would you add to the above list? Share your additions below or on Instagram or Facebook.

Christi Hegstad, PhD, PCC is the Certified Executive + Personal Coach for difference-making achievers! Clarify your vision, free up time, and confidently reach bold goals with meaning and purpose! Contact us today for coaching, speaking, and Mastermind opportunities, or click here and fill in the blue box to join our email community.

Tag Archives: coach

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Moving Forward