More Fully-Engaged Moments, Please!

Christi Hegstad July 27th, 2023

Looking back, what is a moment when you felt fully engaged, aligned, or ‘in the zone’?

It might have been a presentation for which you were excited and well-prepared, a meaningful conversation you had with the person next to you at lunch, a quiet walk you took in the forest, or a blog post that practically seemed to write itself.

This week, I encourage you to tease that experience apart. What led up to it? How did you feel in the moment? What did you notice afterwards? Why does this particular experience stand out for you?

These ‘peak moments’ can clue us in to our values, passions, and purpose.

And by examining them more deeply, we can uncover ways to create even more peak moments in our lives.

Plus, it’s just fun to revisit those fully-engaged times!

Here’s to your meaningful achievement!

How To Stay Focused On Your #1 Goal

Christi Hegstad July 20th, 2023

How are you doing with your 2023 goals?

If everything is running according to plan, keep on keepin’ on!

And if you need a bit of motivation and/or course-correction at this mid-year point, try weaving this idea into your process:

First, ask yourself what your top-priority goal is this year. (Note: It may have changed since January!)

Now, take that goal and put it into this template:

What would a _________ do right now?

Let’s say, for example, you intend to finish writing your book in 2023. Your question might read, ‘What would an author do right now?’

Place that question in a prominent area in your workspace. Then, when distractions appear, you’ll have a visual reminder of your priority and a prompt to choose your next right action.

What would an author do? Perhaps, during work hours, they would write, or outline, or brainstorm, or edit. Perhaps they would not look at the ad they just received or scroll other authors’ social media profiles.

I like having this question in front of me as I plan my week, too. It helps ensure I’m scheduling action toward my top-priority goal in some way each week!

Here’s to your meaningful achievement!

Q2 Lessons Learned

Christi Hegstad July 18th, 2023

As per tradition, here are some of the lessons I learned, relearned, or was reminded the value of during the second quarter of the year:

1. Role models can show up in the most unexpected places. Stay open.

2. We are ever-evolving, therefore our routines + systems must be willing to evolve, too.

3. Instant energy boost: Complete a task you’ve been putting off for ages.

4. Chances are good you are underestimating – and under-celebrating – yourself.

5. Decide who + how you want to be in the world regardless of external circumstances.

6. One moment of conversation with a trusted source can prevent one week of overthinking.

7. Random picks off the library shelf sometimes turn out to be the best books.

8. The best way *forward* may involve a bit of going *back* to basics.

9. Choosing a different path can take courage – whether it’s different from the ‘norm,’ from expectations, or from what you’ve been doing for the past 10-20-30+ years.

10. You’re doing great. (Yes, YOU.)

Does one of these resonate with you? What other lessons did Q2 bring you?

Two Practices To Boost Your Commitment

Christi Hegstad July 13th, 2023

Earlier this year, I agreed to a commitment that ticked all the right boxes for me:

It sounded exciting and fell within my area of expertise. It would challenge my skills in a good way and connect me with awesome people. And, in line with my purpose, it would inspire positive action and make a difference.

My ‘Yes’ was confident, quick, and truly felt right.

Then something weird happened.

Almost immediately upon signing on – still feeling motivated and enthusiastic – I did … nothing.

I didn’t dive into action.

I didn’t even crawl into action.

I did absolutely nothing – unless you can count ‘active procrastination’ as something.

Yet every time I checked in with myself, thinking maybe I had agreed to something I didn’t actually want to do, it still ticked all the right boxes.

I wanted to do this thing. I just wasn’t doing it.

What gives?

Wavering Commitment

Have you ever committed to something that you wanted to do, then found yourself feeling wishy-washy – or even indifferent – towards it?

Numerous factors can play into this, ranging from a values misalignment to fear to burnout to myriad possibilities in between. But in some cases, such as the one I describe above, no real root cause seems apparent, which – especially for achievers – can leave us quite baffled.

After reaffirming I truly wanted to pursue this project and after trying a number of strategies to then get myself to do it, I finally landed on the two that made the biggest difference for me. I share them here in the hopes that they may help you, too.

Two Go-To Practices

First, to no one’s surprise, I made a list. 🙂

Instead of a to-do list or pro/con list, however, this time I made a list of all the things I could do when my commitment begins to waver. This actually turned out to be a pretty extensive list! A few of my bullet points included:

* Remember my purpose. Specifically, why does this project matter, and how does it help me fulfill my purpose?

* Take one small action. One small action can build momentum – and even if it doesn’t, at least I’ve made movement in the right direction.

* Simplify. Consider the (very likely) possibility that I’ve made it harder than it needs to be, and construct ways to bring greater ease, focus, and flow.

* Talk with positive, helpful people.

* Step away for a moment – take a quick walk, cross-stitch for 20 minutes, listen to podcast. Shift perspective for a bit so I can come back with a fresh one.

I actually printed out my list and have it near the front of a binder dedicated to this project. I can’t tell you how helpful this Commitment Boosters list has been!

Second, and I know this can sound like a ‘duh’ tip, but it truly has made a profound difference:

I *decided* to stay committed.

Instead of passively wondering where my commitment went and when it would return and why I felt so darn wishy-washy, I made the conscious decision to be committed to this project – and to boost that commitment whenever I feel it start to waver. (This is where the aforementioned list has proven so useful!)

It kind of feels like fixing a dripping sink: Instead of hearing the constant drip-drip-drip and thinking about how much water it’s wasting and wondering when I’ll finally do something about it, just taking care of it. Then it’s out of my mind completely instead of serving as a constant hum of background noise.

I’m delighted to report that since taking these two actions, my commitment level has dramatically increased, and the project is now almost complete! In fact, if you’re subscribed to my newsletter, you’ll be hearing more about it soon.

What helps you when your commitment to a desired project, goal, or outcome wavers? Share your tips and insights below!

A New Question Toward Clarity

Christi Hegstad June 8th, 2023

Sometimes coaching clients come to me with very specific goals: Ideas they’ve had on the back burner too long, new possibilities they’ve just discovered, areas that showed up in their latest performance review. We can establish their steps, create their success plan, and make it happen.

Often, however, clients come with less clarity than that. “I don’t know what I want,” I’ll hear them say, “I just know it’s something different.”

“What do you want?” seems like a simple enough question, though it can be anything but. If you struggle to answer it, you’re not alone.

So what gets in the way of this clarity?

Any number of things. Maybe you’ve held the same roles and responsibilities for years and can’t quite imagine alternatives. Maybe you’ve felt continually pressed for time without a chance to really think about the next chapter. Maybe you’ve experienced some big changes and things look different than you once expected.

Maybe it’s for an altogether different reason.

And maybe deep down you know the what, you just have no idea how.

A Different Question

I’ve long said the quality of our answers depends on the quality of our questions. If we’re constantly asking, “Why can’t I figure this out?”, for example, we’ll probably continue to come up with reasons that keep us stuck – but not generate anything to move us forward.

And if you’re already feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or time-crunched, the difficulty in envisioning future possibilities – as well as trying to predict all the potential outcomes and what if’s of those possibilities – can be enough to put it all in a mental file drawer marked ‘Figure Out Later.’

If you’re craving clarity for your future, and questions like “What do you want?” and “What would you do if you could do anything?” aren’t quite cutting it, let me pose a different question and see if it prompts any insight for you:

What would you do if you didn’t have to figure out how?

The What and The How

When dreaming, goal-setting, or trying to imagine a clear, bright, vivid future, we can catch a glimpse of an idea – then immediately follow it with “But how would I ever make it happen?”

We quiet the possibility before giving ourselves a chance to really consider it.

And we often do this without even noticing or realizing it.

If you’re spinning in circles as you try to envision your ideal future, whether that’s your ten-years-from-now future or end-of-2023 future or even by-next-month future, try asking that question:

What would I do if I didn’t have to figure out how?

Ponder it while out on a walk, in a quiet moment, or – my personal go-to – in a Breakthrough Map format in your journal. See if removing the second part of the equation – the how – frees up any new ideas on the what.

“But I’ll still have to figure out the how,” you might be thinking. True. But in my experience, the how typically becomes much easier when we are crystal-clear on the what. We’re better able to break it down into steps, seek out support and resources, find others who strive for something similar.

And it can feel much more energizing to move toward a clear picture of possibility than to spin in indecision and ‘Yeah but…’ scenarios.

There are other questions and exercises that can bring about clarity, of course, and my role as a professional coach is to help you get unstuck, clear, and moving toward your picture of meaningful success. If you’d like to experience the power of coaching this summer, email me and we can discuss possibilities! Even a single, focused coaching session can prompt the clarity you’ve been seeking.

Here’s to your clear, confident, purposeful future!

Reading Wrap-up: My Favorite Books Of The Year (So Far)!

Christi Hegstad May 25th, 2023

What is your favorite book?

I know, I know – such an unfair question to ask, especially if you are a book lover and/or voracious reader. How about this instead:

What’s your favorite book of the year so far?

That’s at least a little easier for me to answer. As of today, I’ve read 32 books in 2023, and a few really stand out. I’ll tell you about some of my nonfiction favorites here today; if you’d also like to know my top fiction picks, leave a comment below and I can certainly share those as well!

So far in 2023, my favorite nonfiction reads include:

Let Your Mind Run by Deena Kastor and Michelle Hamilton

This motivating memoir comes from a world champion distance runner who – in addition to massive training, great coaching, and incredible dedication – in large part credits mindset work and optimism for helping her reach elite levels in her sport. I so appreciated her drive, kindness, competitive spirit, encouragement of others, and courage. I listened to much of this on audiobook while walking (at a much slower pace than Kastor, I assure you! :-)) – a very inspiring way to read this one!

HumanKind by Rutger Bregman

A beautiful, scientific, hopeful view of our world and the people in it, all in one well-researched and thought-provoking book. Bregman shares so many facts, data, and stories that rarely show up in the news but point to the goodness of people. I loved the humanity inherent in the text and the focus on facts versus sensationalization. A powerful read, filled with great stories as well as actions we can take to continue improving our world and ourselves.

Quit by Annie Duke

I’m not sure how I didn’t hear of Annie Duke until this year, but I’ve since read three of her books in rapid succession! She writes from an interesting perspective of someone with a background in academics (cognitive psychology) as well as professional poker playing, sharing memorable stories and citing many top-tier experts (Katy Milkman, Adam Grant, Angela Duckworth, and more) as well. I found Quit so thought-shifting that we’ve dedicated this quarter of the ASPIRE Success Club to exploring the power of quitting and of persevering further.

A few other books I have enjoyed and learned from this year so far include:

Stolen Focus by Johann Hari

Coach The Person, Not The Problem by Marcia Reynolds

Bad Vibes Only by Nora McInerny

The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel

How To Decide and Thinking In Bets by Annie Duke

Have you read any of these? What’s your favorite book of the year so far?

5 Steps Toward Meaningful Work

Christi Hegstad May 11th, 2023

“I’m just a cog in the machine. A trained monkey could do my job.”

A client expressed this when we first started working together. His disconnect from his work had begun impacting his performance, attitude, relationships, and more.

By the end of our brief work together, he had replaced the above statement with, “My job actually saves lives!” He hadn’t changed jobs, hadn’t even changed most of his tasks and responsibilities.

So what had changed?

Finding Meaning In Work

A fair amount of research on meaningful work, mattering, and the like has been conducted in recent decades. It’s fascinating and important, and as leaders, we can do a great deal to create an environment of greater meaning and purpose in the workplace.

And as individual achievers, we have the power to bring meaning to our work, too. We can define what makes work meaningful to us, then take action to bring that to fruition. This article offers five ways to begin doing this.

Let’s take a look.

5 Ways To Bring Meaning To Work

1. Celebrate your wins.

Maybe you get acknowledged for the large, noticeable win – you land a big client or your proposal results in the grant funding, for example. (And maybe you don’t experience such acknowledgment, which is another article for another day.) Regardless, we need to celebrate our successes and wins along the way, not just when we reach the completion point. A few simple ways to begin this practice include keeping a Success Journal, recording a Daily Delight, and starting a Celebration of Triumphs list.

2. Connect your core values to your work.

One of my core values is growth, so when I can support my clients’ growth, or grow my own skill set in some way, my work naturally feels more meaningful. Discern your 3 to 5 core values, then look for ways to connect them to your work. (If you need help discerning your core values, contact me – I have a special one-time Core Values Coaching Session where we can do this.)

3. Dream big, and support others’ big dreams, too.

When you can connect your daily tasks to the bigger picture, you’ll benefit in all kinds of ways. Similarly, consider how your work supports others in achieving their dreams, too. Whether you are a banker or a chiropractor or a grocery store clerk or a museum docent or a (fill in the blank), you can play a role in supporting people on their path – and that feels fantastic!

4. Decide your ‘unofficial’ role.

One of my favorite tips for networking is to assume the role of ‘assistant host’; in other words, pretend you’ve been assigned to help people who look alone or uncomfortable feel more welcome. At work, you could decide you’re the one to bring the smile, to share an inspiring quote at the weekly staff meeting, or to ask thoughtful questions. Remember your values (#2 above) and personal strengths, then consider ways you could bring them into your every day.

5. Remember your ripple effect.

Whether or not you receive the feedback or see the impact your work makes, trust in the ripple effect – and that you are making a difference beyond what you even realize. Let’s say you take a phone call from an angry customer, talk them through the issue, and they leave the call feeling heard or cared for or at least a little less angry. Your actions could then change their interactions for the rest of the day, or how they handle their next call from a disgruntled customer. You just never know how far and wide your reach extends – but trust that it does.

You matter, and your work matters. I hope this article reminds you of that and helps enhance your experience, too!

Which of these tips will you begin implementing? What other ideas did this article spark for you? Share your thoughts below!

Q1 Lessons Learned

Christi Hegstad April 19th, 2023

After posting my Lessons Learned every month for a year or so, it has been a while since I’ve shared them! Today I offer a recap of lessons learned / relearned / affirmed throughout the first quarter of 2023. Can you relate to any of these?

1. Like in nature, much of life flows in seasons. Pay attention to the season you’re in and act accordingly.

2. It’s o.k. if you’re 20 or 50 or 80 and still asking what you want to be when you grow up.

3. Opening the windows after a long winter feels like freedom.

4. Two helpful morning questions: a) What do I most want to feel or say at the end of today? b) What will most help me do just that?

5. ‘Stay in your lane’ can mean don’t compare yourself to others – but it can also mean don’t spread yourself too thin. What is it time to let go of?

6. Even if the day doesn’t go according to plan, I am still better off for having created a plan.

7. Complaining does not equal changing. What action will I take?

8. A change in scenery can lead to an incredible change in mindset / perspective.

9. Just because the goal isn’t achieved in the expected time frame doesn’t mean it’s the wrong goal. Good things take time – and sometimes more of it than we think.

10. Inspiration truly is everywhere. Documenting examples daily is a wonderful self-care practice.

What lesson did you learn – or relearn – recently?

Was It All Just A Waste Of Time?

Christi Hegstad April 12th, 2023

After a many-year hiatus, I’ve recently gotten back into the hobby of cross-stitch. For me, it’s an ideal blend of challenging yet relaxing, structured yet creative, mindless (ie, when filling in blocks of stitches) yet meditative.

I love seeing a blank piece of fabric and some loose threads slowly transform into a work of art. And, since I spend much of my time in my head, I appreciate creating a tangible item with my hands.

I’m not sure why I stayed away so long!

And yet, like with anything, it’s not without its frustrations.

Take last night, for instance. I stitched for about an hour, then realized I was completely off count. Often when this happens (and for me, it indeed does happen often!), I can just alter it a bit and continue on. This time, however, the mistake was too noticeable and would have impacted the entire rest of the piece.

So, after an hour of stitching, I spent the better part of the next hour ripping out everything I had just done.

It’s hard not to feel like I just wasted an evening.

What do you think? Did I just waste an evening?

As you probably know, living with purpose is hugely important to me. It’s one of my core values, it’s part of my concise Purpose Statement, and it’s a philosophy I’ve built my business around for the past twenty years.

And this may sound dramatic, but one of my greatest fears in life is feeling like I’ve wasted – or have not been purposeful with – my time.

So to expend an hour, or an evening, or several months on a project with nothing to show for it … well, I struggle with that. A lot.

But the thing is, that’s also part of life.

We dedicate weeks to a presentation that ends up getting cut from the program at the last minute.

We invest months of time, energy, and heart into a project that doesn’t receive funding and gets filed away indefinitely.

We spend years of our rare free time writing our novel only to have it rejected by every publisher we approach.

Have we just wasted all that time?

As much as I fear wasting time, I also don’t think I really believe in wasted time. (I’m a walking contradiction at times, I know!)

Here are a few reasons why:

We gain something along the way. Sometimes an evening of watching reruns seems like a waste of time. Yet sometimes that same action can provide a level of comfort after a difficult day, or allow us to have a fun conversation with a friend about the plot, or even remind us that while we did that tonight, we don’t want to make a habit of it – so it causes us to make a change tomorrow. Being intentional (ie, ‘I’m ready for an evening of comfort shows’ ) can make a world of difference.

Progress can be just as satisfying as outcome. My stitching friends and I sometimes talk about being a product stitcher vs. a process stitcher; in other words, some people are motivated to finish and frame a piece, whereas others savor the act of creating. And like I say all the time in regards to goals, it’s not so much about the achievement as it is who we become along the way. Even though that presentation got cut at the last minute, we still clarified our points, improved our speaking through trial runs, met some fascinating people, and/or gained subject matter knowledge in the process.

We can learn from it all. ‘What’s the lesson here?’ is a question I have trained myself to ask sooner rather than later. Sometimes begrudgingly, and sometimes I’m not ready to answer it – but just knowing that someday I’ll glean a lesson from the experience can help me, at least a little bit, in the meantime.

I recently saw a line (attribution unknown) that said, ‘Time you enjoyed wasting is never wasted time.’

Maybe if we can apply that philosophy, along with the ideas mentioned above, we’ll learn to be more intentional with our time and also more grace-giving with the time we feel we’ve wasted.

What else would you add to this conversation? Share your thoughts, ideas, and helpful hints below!

We’ll be delving into this topic in our upcoming term of the ASPIRE Success Club – and more specifically, deciding when to keep on keepin’ on and when to quit. If you’d like to join us, we have a few spots left – click here for details!

New Routines For A New Season: My 5-Step Process

Christi Hegstad April 6th, 2023

I’ll admit it: I love an excuse for a fresh start.

A new year, the beginning of a quarter, the changing of seasons…even when things are going well, I take advantage of the opportunity to assess and evaluate.

The arrival of Quarter 2 a few days ago was no exception. Especially when coupled with the closing of a long winter, when my routines often included getting into pajamas at 5pm or shortening my walk due to yet another ice storm!

If you’re looking to shake up your routines for the new season, here are five steps I implement that you may find helpful:

1. Revisit Your Goals

You’ve likely heard the saying about climbing and climbing and climbing the ladder, only to discover the ladder was up against the wrong wall. Before deciding what actions you want to implement regularly, get clear on where you’re headed.

I like to revisit my goals for the year, then establish where I want to be at the end of the quarter. I can then create routines that clearly support my meaningful achievement, which helps avoid ‘busywork’ and reconnects my actions to my overall purpose.

2. Review What’s Already Working

‘Maintaining’ isn’t the most exciting phase of any goal, but it’s definitely one of the most important. Take a look at at what you’re currently doing on a regular basis that’s serving you well, then make plans to continue those routines.

Examples might include starting the day with an intentional morning practice, setting your Daily Top 3, or attending your swim class every Monday and Thursday after work.

3. Brainstorm Possibilities

As you look at your goals, what other routines could help you get from here to there? Brainstorm freely, keeping in mind you are only generating ideas at this point – not committing.

I like to brainstorm these in categories, such as morning routines, evening routines, weekend routines, workday routines, and so on.

4. Create A New Ideal

At this point, I pull out a fresh Ideal Time Map and a pencil (with an eraser!) and start jotting down my ‘in a perfect world’ plan. I choose a small number of my brainstormed ideas from #3 and play with where they might fit regularly in my day or week.

The eraser always comes in handy here, as the first draft rarely matches the final draft.

5. Begin, In Experimental Mode

For whatever reason, my mind continually veers toward all-or-nothing tendencies, which in this case would translate as ‘I must do all these things from now until the end of time.’ Therefore, I have learned to consciously train myself to view this as an experiment.

As such, I build a weekly review into my routine – time set aside where I evaluate and course-correct as needed. This offers the freedom to implement a new routine without forcing myself to keep it all quarter – especially if it’s not serving me.

Just this week, I implemented these 5 steps and have come up with what feels like a refreshing and purposeful set of routines for spring. I’m only a few days in, but so far, so good!

What’s a routine you’re starting or continuing this season?

Author Archives: Christi Hegstad