Your Title Does Not Define You

Christi Hegstad June 1st, 2017

“Purpose transcends job titles.” – Rhonda Britten

I’m tempted to write this week’s entire Clarity Kickstart this week in two words:

‘Nuf said.

Your purpose is so much more than your title, role, salary, or any other fleeting element. Also, you can fulfill your purpose anywhere and everywhere.

This week, live, work, and lead with purpose.

Even if you haven’t written your Purpose Statement or aren’t 100% certain about your purpose, you can still do this.

Be intentional about your actions. Pay attention to what lights you up and what shuts you down. Vow to make a positive difference in the life of each person you encounter this week in your work, leadership, and everyday life.

Be purposeful, and know that you are here to make a difference!

5 Frequently Asked Questions of Coaching

Christi Hegstad May 18th, 2017

“John F. Kennedy once said, ‘The only reason to give a speech is to change the world.’ It’s actually the only reason to have a powerful conversation with anyone. Fearless coaching means every time you coach, you change the world.”

~ Chandler & Litvin

In order to earn my Ph.D. in human resource development, I attended school for about 100 years (give or take 😉 ). So why, a few years after that, would I head back to the classroom?

COACHING is why.

I first learned of coaching while writing my dissertation. As I interviewed Fortune 500 companies about their mentoring programs, I kept hearing snippets about coaching as well. The topic was new to me, but a seed was definitely planted.

Then, a couple of years into my professional development business, I was drawn to coaching as a way to bridge the gap between the trainings I offered and the ongoing, forward-moving growth many of my students were seeking.

From Day 1 of my coach training, I felt like I had come home. I knew with 100% certainty that coaching filled that missing link for me.

Fast-forward a decade or so and I still feel that way! I’ve intentionally evolved my business to focus mostly on coaching and have never looked back. If you’ve thought about hiring a coach, you may have many questions circling your mind. Here are five that I am often asked from potential clients:

1. I should be able to figure things out on my own. Does hiring a coach signify weakness?

The exact opposite is true, actually. Look at the best athletes, performers, and business leaders – they have coaches. Click here to see what Bill Gates and former Google CEO Eric Schmidt think about this, for example.

Masters of their craft do not get there alone, nor do they presume to know everything; we all benefit from the objectivity, resources, perspective, experience, and even ‘tough love’ that coaches provide. I am successful as a coach when my clients succeed, and there’s nothing quite like having someone 100% invested in your success!

2. What are the best qualities to look for in a coach?

Everyone is different, and no one-size-fits-all criteria exists. I do, however, encourage you to ask a couple of important questions:

What is their experience? Don’t be afraid to ask your potential coach as many questions as you need to feel confident they are right for you. How long have they been coaching? Have they coached people with similar goals and/or challenges as you? Can they give examples of outcomes (protecting confidentiality, of course)? Coaching is a significant investment of time, money, and energy. Ask whatever helps you make a strong decision.

What is their training? The International Coach Federation (ICF) serves as the guiding professional association in coaching, and I suggest working with a coach who has attended an ICF-accredited program for a number of reasons: ICF-credentialed coaches are bound by high ethical guidelines, have been trained extensively in order to obtain certification (including having their coaching critiqued and working with mentor coaches), and have rigorous continuing education requirements so you can trust that they are always growing and advancing their skills as well.

How do you feel? It may sound unscientific, but ultimately a strong rapport plays a key role, so listen to your intuition. As this point in my career I can typically tell within a few minutes of conversation whether or not a potential client and I will work well together, and I am happy to refer when that rapport is not there or their needs fall outside my areas of expertise.

3. How do I know if I actually need a coach?

Aside from my belief that everyone (including coaches!) needs a coach, give some thought to what you want to gain from coaching. Do you have an idea, goal, or dream that you keep putting off and want someone to hold you accountable? Do you feel stuck in some aspect of your work or life and want to experience a breakthrough? Do you need to build your mindset, strengthen your confidence, or develop your skills in order to reach your next pinnacle of success? Many of my clients have obtained a level of leadership where they now need an independent, objective thought partner to bounce ideas off of, brainstorm solutions, and discuss best practices. Does that sound like you?

Whether you have no clue what steps to take, know what to do but aren’t doing it, or feel at the top of your game and want to maintain that, coaching can help.

4. Coaching is a big investment. How do I know it’s worth it?

Search the literature and you’ll find numerous studies demonstrating the consistently high return on investment of coaching. Typically when I’m asked this question, however, it’s not so much the general success rate people are looking for as it is, “How will I know coaching will help me (or my employee)?”

As part of my response, I return the question to my potential clients, because that’s where their best insights will come from. For example, most clients enroll in a 6-month coaching program with me, so I might ask: Six months from now, what will make you look back and say, ‘Yes, coaching was definitely worth it!’? What will be different then compared to now? What is it costing you to not solve this problem or to not move this goal forward?

Ask yourself similar questions and I bet you’ll sense its worth.

Coaching definitely is an investment in yourself, your growth, your potential. Value yourself and the ‘you’ you’d like to become, and hire the highest quality coach you possibly can. I’ve written checks to my coaches that have made me gasp and, though it can be frightening to invest in oneself so significantly, I have never regretted it.

5. Am I ready for coaching?

I have a friend who routinely cleans her house the day before the housekeeper she hired comes. When I asked her why, she said she doesn’t want the housekeeper to see the ‘true’ mess. Can you relate?

As a certified coach, I am perfectly o.k. seeing things as they are – seeing you as you are. No judgment, no comparison.

To be perfectly honest, as long as you are open to growth, transformation, and new ways of operating, you are ready for coaching. You don’t have to have everything figured out or all your ducks in a row before you hire a coach. Instead, you can enjoy that as part of the coaching process!

I agree 100% with Chandler & Litvin’s quote that I opened this article with: Coaching changes individuals, organizations, communities, and the world, and I am so honored to walk with my clients and to be a part of this profession. Coaches, thank you for the important work you do in the world. Clients, thank you for your commitment to growth and striving to be the highest, most purposeful version of yourself that you possibly can – which also changes the world.

Happy International Coaching Week!

What questions do you still have about coaching? Send them my way and I’ll be happy to write a Part 2 to this blog!

Practice With Purpose

Christi Hegstad May 16th, 2017

Each week, as I look over my upcoming activities and goals, I choose a quote, line, or mantra to guide me. That line gets space front-and-center in my Purpose Planner; seeing it multiple times each day makes a difference!

“Practice like you’ve never won, perform like you’ve never lost” has been my message this past week. Athletes, among others, adopt this into their lives: Train hard, then at game or race time, don’t overthink – let your training kick in and just do.

This week, train hard – then perform with confidence.

Whether a sporting event, presentation, interview, proposal to your supervisor, suggesting a new way of doing things to your department… Do your homework. Prepare your outline, decide what matters most, arrange your talking points accordingly. Practice.

Then, perform like you’ve never lost.

Confidence matters! Confidence, or lack thereof, can influence your results more than just about anything else. Prepare, perform, succeed!

10 Tips For Graduating Seniors – & Busy Professionals!

Christi Hegstad May 10th, 2017

In the ASPIRE Success Club and other groups I lead, we routinely address important topics like confidence, courage, and the power of dreaming big. A common sentiment during these discussions – which typically involve professionals in their 30s, 40s, and 50s – is “I wish I had learned this earlier in life!”

We all nod in agreement. And I take notes.

This month, my oldest child graduates from high school and will soon head off to college. Amid my all-over-the-place emotions with this great achievement, I keep wondering, “Have I taught her all I can? What have I left out?” A ton, I’m sure. I’ve made conscious parenting a top priority for nearly two decades but I’m far from perfect.

So, in an effort to bridge both of these areas, I’m sharing 10 of the “Wish I Had Knowns” I commonly hear and/or have experienced myself (often the hard way). As you read, remember: It’s never too early – or too late – to learn, change and grow!

1. Believe in yourself.

Confidence is key! It’s not about thinking you’re better than anyone, it’s avoiding comparison altogether and trusting that what you don’t know, you can learn. You are here for a purpose and your life is significant. In the wise words of Winnie the Pooh: “You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Trust yourself.

2. Make values-based decisions.

That little voice in your head and/or feeling in your gut? It serves a valuable purpose, and the more you listen to it, the more it will guide you. Do the right thing, even if it’s not the easy thing. Listen to your intuition, clarify what matters most, and make purposeful decisions. You’ll find greater fulfillment on the high road than the path of least resistance.

3. Reach out for help.

Asking for help is a sign of strength and wisdom, not of weakness. You don’t have to figure everything out for yourself. You don’t have to carry burdens on your own. Look at the amazing people in the world whom you admire and you’ll quickly learn they didn’t make it there by themselves! Allow others to give you a hand, and be willing to offer your hand as well.

4. View failure as a stepping stone.

If you see failure as the end-point, or view perfection as the only version of success, you’ll miss out on so much – and fear will run rampant. Adopt a growth mindset, learn from your mistakes, and always ask yourself, “What’s the lesson here?” You’ll find you learn so much more from your so-called failures than many other experiences, as long as you’re open to the learning.

5. Let your light shine.

Yes, we face challenges. Yes, the questions become more difficult. Yes, we need to accept responsibility for our lives, work hard for what we believe in, and honor our commitments. But we can do all that with lightness and joy! Smile. Look people in the eye. Offer a positive perspective. Focus on wins before delving into challenges. In the words of Kermit the Frog, always be yourself – and never take yourself too seriously.

6. Live boldly.

As Marianne Williamson so eloquently wrote, “Your playing small does not serve the world.” Show up. Ask questions. Voice your viewpoints, even if they’re not in the majority. Speak your mind – and open your mind to other points of view, too. Respectful dialogue gets us farther than close-mindedness and my-way-or-the-highway thinking.

7. Spend time alone.

Routinely step away, without your phone and gadgets, to get in touch with yourself, your intuition, your Higher Power. Intentionally set aside time to journal, meditate, pray, create, breathe. The more you are in tune with your truest self and core values, the more powerfully and purposefully you can carry out the life you’re here to live and the difference you’re here to make.

8. Dream big, start small.

You can change the world – but you don’t have to do it all at once. I love Mother Teresa’s wisdom: “If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.” Take time to dream big, wild, crazy dreams, getting clear on what you’d love to create in your life and in the world and not worrying right away about the how. You can make your dreams a reality and make your difference one decision, one action, one person at a time. Trust the ripple effect to kick in and do its job, too.

9. Focus on the positive.

We live in an amazing world filled with kind, generous, beautiful people. Sometimes that can be hard to remember when your news program or Twitter feed seem to scream the opposite. “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news,” Mr. Rogers shared, “my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'” Focus on the good, be the good; this isn’t naivete, this is positive leadership. Model for others what you want to create more of in the world. And know that there’s much more positive, kindness, and good than not.

10. Do what you love.

And perhaps even more importantly, love what you do. This is all about your mindset and the meaning you bring to each activity. Trust that what you do – whether in the classroom, at work, or elsewhere – makes a difference. Connect with the bigger picture of your work. Interact with a spirit of kindness, confidence, and service, and know that what you do matters – that YOU matter.

Everything you’ve experienced up to this point has formed you into the amazing, important person you are today. Just think: you’ve successfully navigated every single day up to this point!

Now’s your time to SHINE, to get out there and make your difference! To live, work, and lead with meaning and purpose! We are cheering for you. 🙂

What would you add to the list? Share your tips with me on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter.

If You’re Going To Make Assumptions…

Christi Hegstad May 8th, 2017

In my work as a coach, I find that assumptions often keep us from pursuing our goals or dreams. This frequently happens without us even realizing it, because we’ve begun treating our assumptions as fact. Some examples:

“I’d love to move or cancel some of my longstanding meetings but no one would go for that.”

“I’d love to speak at XYZ event but they’d never consider me.”

“I’d love to work in a nonprofit but I’d never make enough money.”

“I’d love to start my own business but I could never make it work.”

This week, challenge your assumptions.

One of the best ways to do this? First, of course, you must be aware of your assumptions. If you instantly discount an idea, quiet a dream, or hear yourself saying, “I’d love to but…”, pause and question.

Then, go on a fact-finding mission. See if you can disprove your assumptions!

Assumptions can keep us stuck so much longer than necessary. Like I shared on Instagram this week, if you’re going to dwell, what if you dwell on your successes? If you’re going to overthink, what if you overthink your gratitudes and blessings? And if you’re going to make assumptions, what if you assume the best?

How To Love What You Do

Christi Hegstad May 4th, 2017

Do you love what you do?

If so, celebrate that! If not, know that you’re not alone – and that you can do something about it. For example:

* Find aspects you *do* enjoy and focus on them as much as possible.

* Enroll in a class, training, or other development opportunity. Always be learning and growing.

* Uncover how your work helps others and makes a difference. Remind yourself of this truth frequently.

* Hire a coach and explore your many options.

This week, love what you do.

Since you’ll likely spend more waking hours of your adult life at work than nearly any other pursuit, make it count! Bring meaning to what you do, engage your strengths, and choose to make a purposeful difference.

Getting Your Motivation Back!

Christi Hegstad May 3rd, 2017

Ah, spring: The time of incredible clarity, boundless energy, and unbridled motivation.

Or not.

Every year since I started this business 14+ years ago, spring rolls around and I hear – repeatedly – some version of this statement: “The weather’s nice, the sun has returned, everything is fresh and new again…and I have no motivation. What’s wrong with me?”

Sometimes I am the person I hear that from the most!

The truth is, if you feel low in motivation these days, nothing is wrong with you. Yes, the newness of spring can be invigorating – but it also signals that our big annual goals are likely in “maintenance mode” (not too exciting), maybe a fun spring vacation is behind us, or distractions have multiplied seemingly overnight. If you’re a parent, the sheer number of emails and events and to-do’s this time of year may cause you to look wistfully back at the hibernation phase of winter!

Fortunately, you can re-ignite your motivation. Three of my favorite strategies:

1. Create a breakthrough map. Jot down everything that energizes, delights, or motivates you, so you have a collection of ideas to call on when low-mojo strikes. Engage your team in this activity for even more possibilities.

2. Leave. Bring your project to a new location: a local park, a picnic shelter at the lake, a nearby rose garden or art center. A change of scenery works wonders on motivation and innovation.

3. Seek support. Seriously – if it weren’t for my coach, my mastermind partners, and a few other select inspirational people in my life, I’m not sure I’d get anything accomplished! Hire a coach, join a group, engage a therapist, or find a professional in your area of growth to help light your fire.

What lights you up these days? Where does your energy seem to naturally flow? Give yourself permission to go there, even if only for a brief time to lift your mindset. And be sure to join me on Instagram for more ideas that I’ve shared recently and to add yours!

Purposeful Confidence

Christi Hegstad April 25th, 2017

How often do you question yourself because someone else questions you?

Some people’s opinions deserve your attention. If they’ve earned a place in your “inner circle” – through mutual trust, vulnerability, and respect – you might consider their opinions a bit more.

But how often do you allow the comment of a random person, social media acquaintance, or friend of a friend of a friend to seep into your subconscious and cause you to doubt yourself?

This week, believe in yourself.

Stay true to your beliefs. Speak up for yourself. Adopt a confident mindset and don’t let the naysayers mess with your confidence.

Several authors I admire share a similar philosophy: Their job is to write and put their work out into the world. What people do with it from there – love it, hate it, praise it, bash it – is not the authors’ concern; they’ve already completed their job.

With kindness, respect, and holding your values at the forefront, do your thing – then detach. Turn up your internal volume and tune out the noise that doesn’t help you fulfill your purpose!

Taking The First Step – Now

Christi Hegstad April 10th, 2017

Coaching Tip of the Week:

Age, time, money, lack of information… How often have you talked yourself out of an exciting possibility or pushed down a persistent dream because the time wasn’t right?

Fun fact: The timing is rarely, if ever, right. We can always wait until we have more money or more time or life more under control. I don’t know about you, but if I waited until all the stars aligned to do many of the things I’ve done, I would have missed out on some of the greatest joys, life-shaping accomplishments, and strongest learning experiences of my life!

What idea, project, or goal keeps calling to you, but you keep shushing it? What are your reasons – and are they reasons…or excuses?

This week, take the first step.

That book you want to publish? Schedule a one-hour writing block this week.

That certification you’ve been considering? Get the application materials.

That leadership role that sounds so intriguing but for which you feel unqualified? Hire a coach.

That degree you’ve always wanted to finish but feel you can’t afford? Set an appointment with financial aid.

You never know if you never try. And you’ll never move ahead if you don’t make the first step. Let’s all set the intention this week to take a step in the direction of our vision and dreams! And sooner than you know we’ll be high-fiving at the finish line.

What If You Became 10% Happier?

Christi Hegstad April 4th, 2017

Many years ago, when my company was in its infancy, I hired a coach with extensive business experience. He had reached the pinnacle of success in the corporate world, positively influencing the lives around him along the way. A highly impactful leader, dedicated family man, and respected professional, he switched gears later in life to coach others to similar success. I was thrilled to have such a notable partner in my growth.

From our very first meeting, however, I became rather frustrated. It seemed every problem I posed led to a similar response from him: Have you meditated on that? (No.) Have you meditated today? (No.) What might you learn from a period of meditation? (Wha?!)

“I don’t mean any disrespect,” I finally responded, “but I’m really looking for practical business solutions here.”

Ever so patient with me, he asked if I admired what he had accomplished both professionally and personally, and of course I did. “The one constant through it all,” he shared, “was my meditation practice.”

Bigger Lessons To Learn

I’ll share more about this experience in an upcoming article (working title: Meditation For Those Who Resist Meditation 🙂 ), but I offer this now because I can fully relate to Dan Harris’ initial skepticism of meditation in his book, 10% Happier.

Throughout the chapters, Harris – a news anchor with shows like Nightline and Good Morning America – expresses his skepticism, and at times outright disdain, for various practices and teachers of those practices. As his story unfolds, however, his skepticism turns to possibility and even embracing of the practices he vehemently opposed earlier. Although I laughed out loud in parts (he’s a terrific storyteller), I resonated with pieces of his uncertainty and appreciated his openness in the struggles he endured on his own “path to enlightenment,” if you will.

The book is largely about meditation. Because of his professional role, Harris had the opportunity to connect with people like Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, and the Dalai Lama to gain as many viewpoints as possible on living mindfully and incorporating meditation into the everyday. While Harris’ path, and in many cases his points of view, differ greatly from mine, I took away three significant lessons from his experience:

1. Release Judgment.

Harris admittedly has preconceived judgments about nearly everyone he interviewed, it seems, and more often than not he was proven wrong. Where do you tend to judge people based on how they look, what you’ve heard, or the way they carry themselves? A great component of mindfulness involves the practice of removing preconceived judgments and allowing life to flow. Your greatest teacher might be the person you’re resisting meeting.

2. Embrace Mindfulness.

Even if you’re not actively practicing meditation ‘on the mat,’ you can take what one of Harris’ interviewees called purposeful pauses – short mindfulness breaks throughout the day. Take advantage of moments while driving, walking, or waiting for your computer to boot up to pay attention to the feel of the sunshine coming through the window or the depth of your breath.

3. Detach, Detach, Detach.

I can say, without a doubt, this is a lesson I am here to learn. (Repeatedly.) I liked Harris’ take: “Striving is fine, as long as it’s tempered by the realization that…the final outcome is out of your control. If you don’t waste your energy on variables you cannot influence, you can focus much more effectively on those you can.”

The Side Effects Are Worth It

Meditation and mindfulness practices have been linked in research to numerous benefits in terms of health, longevity, relationships, success, and more. Learning to pause, quiet the mind, and respond rather than react can also lead to greater compassion and, as Harris points out, “Compassionate people tend to be healthier, happier, more popular, and more successful at work.” Nice!

Harris navigated quite a journey in uncovering the content of this book, from the aforementioned interviews to attending a silent retreat to exploring his own challenges in therapy. His fear that becoming mindful and empathetic would “soften his edge” or make him less successful in the news world were valid concerns, and I appreciated how those experiences unfolded for him.

If you are a meditation/mindfulness practitioner, his perspective may enlighten you to what people on different paths may feel. And if you are skeptical yourself, this book might show you how mindfulness, detachment, meditation, and other growth practices can impact all aspects of your work, leadership, and life – as well as those around you.

“The point of mindfulness was to short-circuit what had always been a habitual, mindless chain reaction… Mindfulness represented an alternative to living reactively.”

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