Joy, Contentment, and The Daily Top 3

Christi Hegstad October 15th, 2018

Coaching Tip:

Do you practice the Daily Top 3?

If you have coached with me, you are probably quite familiar with the concept. Whenever people ask me how I navigate running a business, raising a family, volunteering, coaching, exercising, and the myriad other actions I am (and you likely are) involved in, the Daily Top 3 is one of the first and most practical strategies to spring to mind.

Inspired Action:

This week, practice the Daily Top 3.

Each evening before you head home from work, scan your obligations and to-do list. Choose 3 items to be your top-priority focal points for the next day – the 3 items that, even if the rest of the day goes completely haywire, will allow you to feel purposefully accomplished.

Separate those 3 items from the rest of your list, and review them (and ideally start on them!) first thing in the morning.

What if living and leading with joy and contentment could be as simple as this daily practice?

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3 Mindset Hacks for Positive, Purposeful Growth

Christi Hegstad October 11th, 2018

Years ago, I read a wonderful book by Dr. Joan Borysenko called Inner Peace for Busy People. It became one of our first ASPIRE Success Club book picks, and I still take it off my shelf to review from time to time. I highlighted a great deal in the book but reference one section in particular rather frequently:

“One person chooses to be upset until the day she dies because her working mother rarely made dinner for the family. Another attributes her love of cooking to the exact same circumstances.”

What do you notice?

Same circumstances, completely different experiences. All due to mindset.

Maybe you thrive on change, maybe you consider yourself a creature of habit. Either way, a deliberate focus on your mindset can change everything.

At its core, your mindset is your framework of thoughts and beliefs that impact how you experience the world. Your mindset essentially determines your actions, behaviors, and outcomes. It affects how you make sense of the world, as well as how you interpret experiences.

The more I have studied mindset, particularly for my Positive Psychology Coaching certification, the more I am reminded how it underscores our entire life experience. The best part? You don’t necessarily need extensive training to shift your mindset to one that serves you and those around you better. Below, three evidence-based practices to help you begin that shift.

1. Reframing.

The above example from Borysenko is a great example of this. You may not control everything that happens to you, but you do get to decide how you handle it. You are the author of your story. You choose how you will experience this world, regardless of circumstances. No one can make you feel a certain way; you are in charge of your mindset.

Inspired Action: Think back to a situation that felt negative at the time but, with hindsight, seemed to turn out in your favor. For example, a coaching client recently shared how devastated she felt after being laid off ten years ago, but now knows she never would have started her soulful business without that ‘prompt.’ Explore what you learned, how you benefited, or what you gained. Repeat this process until you’re able to begin doing it in real-time.

2. Focus On Influence.

Essentially, this involves looking at any less-than-desirable situation through two lenses: What concerns you, and what you can influence to change. When I teach this principle to coaching clients, I essentially describe it as flipping from “Why” (Why does this always happen? Why me? Why now?) to “How” (How can I improve this? How can I bring positivity into this situation? How can I change, learn from, or impact what’s happening?). Simple and empowering.

Inspired Action: Take an area where you have been feeling stuck and write out the things that frustrate / bother / frighten you about that situation. Get those thoughts and feelings out of your head and onto paper. Then, make a big list of responses to the question, “How might I improve this situation and/or my mindset toward it?” Generate at least 20 responses and go from there. (If you would like a one-time coaching session on this using my Power Circles tool, let me know.)

3. Gratitude.

Gratitude has become kind of a buzzword lately. (I can think of worse things!) The reason: Gratitude works. Study upon study confirms that identifying what you are thankful for has physical, mental, and emotional benefits; Dr. Robert Emmons, one of my instructors for the aforementioned Positive Psychology certification, is one of the leading researchers in this field if you seek more evidence.

Inspired Action: You’ve probably heard it before, but now I want you to put it into action: Start a gratitude journal. Each day, write three things for which you are grateful – and I suggest a ‘no repeats’ rule. Do this for a month and see what shifts you notice.

What practices help you shift your mindset to one of more purpose and positivity? Share your ideas below or on Instagram!

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35 Ways To DO SOMETHING When The World Feels Chaotic

Christi Hegstad September 27th, 2018

Raise your hand if you don’t even want to open a newspaper or check your social media feeds anymore, with all of the chaos of the moment.

Do you find yourself increasingly angry? Frustrated? Heartbroken? Drained? Believe me, you are not alone.

I have a few core beliefs that regularly guide me through the turmoil. For example, that there is more good than bad in the world – although the bad often seems to get more attention. And while at times the problems may seem bigger than us, we – every single one of us – can take action to make the world a better place.

Sometimes that’s hard to remember. And sometimes it’s hard to know what “little ol’ me” can do. So I’ve created this list of 35 starting points to open up the conversation. I encourage you to employ the ones that speak to you, and to add to this list as well.

1. Feel. Whatever you’re experiencing – anger, hurt, optimism, fear, gratitude, and beyond – feel your feelings. Blocking or ignoring them will not help you or anyone else in the long run.

2. Connect. You don’t have to figure everything out on your own, and there is power in numbers.

3. Focus. Commit to solutions over blaming or complaining. Solutions move us forward; the rest keeps us stuck.

4. Shine the light. Find the people doing good and spread their messages. (Looking at you too, news industry.)

5. Research. Just because it’s on the internet does not make it true. Seek facts before you believe – and before you share.

6. Speak up. Like we’re reminded at airports, if you see something, say something. To the persons involved and/or to professionals who can help.

7. Ask. Focus on growth- and change-oriented questions: How can I help? What’s an action I can take? To whom can I reach out?

8. Share resources. Let people know of organizations, helpers, and nonprofits to which they can connect for support.

9. Vote. Educate yourself on candidates and punch your ballot for those you believe will represent you and your values.

10. Donate. Choose the cause that speaks to you the most, and give what you can.

11. Practice disciplined inquiry. For example, if an article makes a claim, don’t accept it at face value: Who funded the study? Was an adequate sample represented? Did it include mixed genders, ages, demographics? Dig deeper.

12. Extend a kindness. It’s amazing what a pre-paid grocery card to a family in need or a handwritten note to a kind service provider can do.

13. Eliminate excuses. “It was just a joke” or “That’s how it’s always been” are not the same as apologies, positive actions, or righting wrongs.

14. Listen. To children, to people paving a new way, to those with opinions that differ from yours. As Stephen Covey advised, “Seek first to understand.”

15. Seek help. Therapists, physicians, spiritual directors, healers, coaches, mentors, teachers…find the support you need. It’s out there.

16. Open the dialogue. If you raise or work with young people, talk about important topics like respect and long-term impacts of short-term decisions.

17. Pause. Before posting online, practice the THINK model: Is it True? Helpful? Inspiring? Necessary? Kind?

18. Show up. Town halls, marches, panel discussions, community events, fundraisers, or whatever matters to you.

19. Take care of yourself. You’ll be little help to others if you are completely depleted. Take physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual care.

20. Practice RAOKs. Random acts of kindness – as well as intentional ones – make a difference. Conduct one daily if possible.

21. Use your gifts. Where do your strengths and skills lie? Write, speak, teach, mentor, advocate, do your thing to make your difference.

22. Honor your values. Wherever your feel most hurt likely means a core value is being violated. Clarify, honor, and act in accordance with your values.

23. Learn from the wise. Look to present-day heroes as well as those from history – perhaps Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Harriet Tubman, or whomever speaks to you.

24. Be alert but not afraid. Be prepared, take precautions, listen to your intuition – yet don’t let fear run your life and drive all your decisions.

25. Engage your faith. This may include prayer, quiet meditation, community, stillness, attending a service, or whatever faith-based practices serve you.

26. Spread the good word. Give exposure to the difference-makers you admire. Leaders, authors, firefighters, business owners, helpers, healers…share their stories, invite people to their events, encourage their continued efforts by letting them know their work matters.

27. Talk. Share your ideas, speak your truth, use your voice. It doesn’t have to be loud to be effective.

28. Write. Create articles and posts that inspire useful action rather than fuel the fear. Write and call your legislators on issues as well.

29. Create. Whether paintings, sculptures, music, charts, conversations, home decor…every day you create things that didn’t exist before. Embrace your artistry. Create for positive change.

30. Choose your direction. Decide where you most want to place your energy, then run with it. Focus on contribution over chaos.

31. Accept your position. Face it: You are a leader. You have the ability to influence others. Use those superpowers for good!

32. Don’t give up. We need you.

33. Choose your sources wisely. Maybe it’s time to turn off the TV or cancel the subscription or reduce the noise or delete the app. Decide the sources you trust for unbiased facts and accurate reporting, and let the others go.

34. See the good. It’s out there. Look to the helpers, the healers, the protectors, the courageous. Gain inspiration from their ways of being.

35. Be the good. Lead by example. It sets a ripple effect in motion that you cannot even begin to fathom.

This is just a launching pad of ideas, friends. What would you add? Please share your wisdom in the comments below. Here’s to a better, braver, kinder, more purposeful world for us all.

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What Matters Most?

Christi Hegstad September 26th, 2018

If I could sum up purposeful time management in a matter of words, I would say this:

Focus on what matters most.

Choose your highest goals and deepest values and important relationships, and prioritize your time and energy there. Like Goethe advised, never let what matters most be at the mercy of that which matters least.

If you’re unsure about your values, goals, priorities, and what matters most to you, please reach out. A one-time coaching session could work wonders!

In A Rut – Or A Groove?

Christi Hegstad September 25th, 2018

Feel stuck in ‘same thing, different day’ mode? I love the distinction Twyla Tharp makes between a rut and a groove in her book, The Creative Habit:

“A rut is when you’re spinning your wheels and staying in place; the only progress you make is digging yourself a deeper rut. A groove is different: The wheels turn and you move forward effortlessly. It can mean all the difference in the world.”

If you’re in a groove, enjoy!

If you’re in a rut, what’s one small thing you might do differently today?

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Aligning Your Words and Actions

Christi Hegstad September 17th, 2018

Coaching Tip:

On Instagram last week, I posed this question:

What is *one thing* you’d love to say about yourself at the end of 2018?

How would you answer that?

Of your various goals and hopes and plans, which one rises to the top?

Now…what are you going to do about it?

Inspired Action:

This week, take daily action toward your top-priority goal.

Every single day, for the next seven days, do one thing – even one tiny thing – to gain momentum toward the goal.

For example, do you want to fundraise an additional $100,000 for your nonprofit before the end of the year? Call 3 prospective donors every day for the next seven days.

Want to shift your mindset to one of positivity and growth? Read one inspiring article each day.

Want to finish writing your book? Commit to 1,000 words daily for the week.

Don’t just say or write down what you want to accomplish (though that’s important, too!). Take meaningful, consistent action toward it every day for the week. At the end of the week, evaluate your outcomes, and continue or adjust accordingly for the following week.

As the saying goes, inch by inch, it’s a cinch!

Need help, accountability, or an action plan? Let’s talk!

Check This Out:

I also shared a 5-step process for making your response to the ‘one thing’ question above a reality. Click here if you missed it!

5-Step Process To End The Year STRONG

Christi Hegstad September 13th, 2018

In less than 3 weeks, we will enter the fourth and final quarter of 2018.

If you’re like many professionals, this reminder prompts one of two thoughts:

“One full quarter left? Better kick it into high gear and make the most of it!”

or

“Only one quarter left? Guess I won’t be meeting my goals this year after all.”

If you are in the first camp – or want to join us there – today’s 5-step process is for you. This simple but powerful exercise may very likely bring a greater sense of clarity and focus than you’ve experienced much of the year, as well as make your next best actions more apparent. Let’s dive in!

Step #1: Identify your primary feeling.

Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and imagine Quarter 4 is your best ever in all possible ways. You’re ending the year on a high note, where everything has fallen into place beautifully. How does that make you feel?

Open your eyes and record the top feeling that arises for you. Strong, peaceful, energized, successful, exhilarated…whatever came to the surface. Keep that word present (hint: weave it into your passwords!) for the remainder of the year. It may sound a bit woo-woo but I bet you’ll be surprised how much the reminder motivates you!

Step #2: Choose your goal.

That’s right, singular.

Choose one goal that will be your dominant focus for the remainder of the year. You will still achieve other goals, but select one that a) you commit to 100%, b) will up-level other areas of your work/life, and c) will help you end the year feeling what you identified in Step #1. Are you ready to take daily action on this goal?

Make the goal specific and connect it to your primary feeling, recording it as you will say it on December 31. For example, “I am so energized now that I have enrolled 10 ideal new clients!” or “I feel so strong and purposeful now that I have raised $75,000 for my nonprofit!”

Step #3: Brainstorm possible actions.

My favorite way to do this involves a Breakthrough Map, which you can read about and see examples of here. Once you’ve identified possible actions, prioritize them into a logical, doable sequence. Make sure this is on paper or Evernote or somewhere outside of your head.

Step #4: Secure support.

This is the time of year I am typically most thankful for my coach and the mastermind groups I belong to. These people want to see me reach my goal as much as I do (and vice versa), and that accountability, support, and belief in my ability spurs me like nothing else.

I currently have an opening for one coaching client in October, so if you want to experience firsthand what I’m talking about, be sure to reach out ASAP to set up a time for us to talk.

Step #5: Take inspired action.

Don’t wait until the perfect time, or until you have everything figured out, or until you have all your ducks in a row / i’s dotted / t’s crossed / cats herded … you get the picture. Take an action, then take a next action, then a next.

Yes, the year is winding down – but it’s not over. As of today, if my calculations are correct, we have over three months left. More than 15 weeks. 109 days.

If you took one inspired action every day for 109 days, where would your goal be at the end of the year?

Wait, don’t answer that. Instead, take that action and find out!

Replace Fear With This And See What Happens

Christi Hegstad September 10th, 2018

Coaching Tip:

What goal or idea are you putting off?

Chances are high that the reasons you’re procrastinating – time, money, responsibility, training, etc. – all come down to one underlying theme: FEAR.

Fear shows up in funny, subtle, and unexpected ways.

Left unchecked, we can delay for years what we’ve built up in our minds to be impossible – or at least highly unlikely. After embarking on a dream or pursuing a goal or making a change, however, so many of my coaching clients say, “My only regret is that I didn’t do this sooner!”

Inspired Action:

This week, turn your fear into curiosity.

Consider a big dream or bold goal that keeps calling to you. Instead of pushing it aside, simply ask a few questions:

What small step could I take toward this right now?

Who do I know who has done something similar?

What if I gave it a try, just to see what happens?

One small mindset shift could change your life!

Need help, accountability, or an action plan? Let’s talk!

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What Is Different Because Of YOU?

Christi Hegstad September 3rd, 2018

Coaching Tip:

First and foremost, let me assure you: This world is different because you are here.

You bring a combination of strengths, gifts, perspectives, and values that no one else can offer.

And we can all surely think of examples of people who left the world a better place because they were here. This is not by accident.

Remember: You choose your legacy by choosing how you live, work, and interact every single day.

Inspired Action:

Practice the pause.

Before you respond to a statement (even if it’s hurtful), before you post a complaint on Facebook (even if it’s accurate), before you flip on the TV or reach for your phone or send the reactionary email, pause.

Breathe.

And ask yourself: If this action marks how the world remembers me, would I be o.k. with that?

There’s exceptional power in the pause. Experiment with it this week!

What is one difference you want to make in the world? Share here!

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How To Not Turn Into A Big Ball Of Worry And Fear

Christi Hegstad August 29th, 2018

I am a positive person. I tend to look for the best in others and believe that things will work out.

Some days this mindset comes easily. Other days, it requires conscious, deliberate effort.

Whether crime, natural disasters, personal betrayals, fluke accidents…sometimes the fact that we ever leave our homes feels like an act of bravery. I feel it, too. When my kids aren’t home and it’s 4 minutes after they said they would be, my mind can easily jump to conclusions. Even as a certified positive psychology coach, I can at times find myself wanting to curl up in a ball and hide under a blanket for a while.

And sometimes, that’s exactly what we need to do. We need to feel our feelings, even when they fall lower on the happiness scale than we’d like. Just because we experience fear, anger, doubt, frustration, or grief doesn’t mean we aren’t positive and purposeful. It means we are human.

But then, because we are human, and because we are here for a purpose greater than ourselves, we get up, take a few deep breaths, and do the work we were put here to do to make the world a better place.

I don’t claim to have all the answers, but here are a few tools and strategies, supported by research, that I find particularly helpful in those curl-up-in-a-ball times. I hope they help you come from a place of strength and purpose rather than doubt, worry, or fear.

1. Ask, “What can I control here?”

Whatever your answer, even if it’s something small, honor it. Maybe you cannot control the fact that your company is being acquired and your role may be eliminated, but you can control how you prepare for different possibilities or proactively decide your best action steps.

If the answer to this question feels like “Nothing,” employ one of the other strategies offered – and remember that you can always control your mindset.

2. Adopt a guiding mantra.

One I developed during a difficult time and still use today: Be alert but not afraid. I try to be prepared and cover my bases, while simultaneously trying not to let fear drive my decisions.

I wish I could say I adopted this mantra in my youth; the truth is, I have often allowed fear to have more power than I’d like. It has only been more recently, and with the help and inspiration of courageous friends, mentors, and coaches, that I have lived out this mantra more frequently. Feel free to use it or find/create one that speaks to you. Repeat to yourself in easy times so it comes to mind more naturally in the harder times.

3. Take an action.

Action truly provides one of the best antidotes to fear. Connect with a solution-oriented committee of like-minded people. Research accurate facts instead of automatically believing the headlines shared (typically without deeper inquiry) on social media. Join a group, attend a church service, write a letter to the editor, seek a second opinion, donate time or money. Saying “Something must be done” is not the same as doing something. Do something.

4. Calm your nervous system.

For me, journaling helps tremendously. For many of my friends, meditation, breath work, or yoga does the trick. Experiment until you find what supports you, then practice it regularly.

5. Ask for help.

Whether from a trained professional, a wise confidant, or a calm and trusted friend, know that asking for help is a sign of strength and courage – not weakness. I am not a therapist but have found them extremely valuable at various points throughout my life.

And as difficult as this may be during times of turmoil, see if you can laugh – even just for a moment. I so distinctly remember hearing Stephen Colbert say during his show a couple of years ago, “You cannot laugh and be afraid at the same time.” Funny movies, hilarious chats with friends, entertaining books, kitty videos on YouTube…treat yourself to a laughing spell to lift your mindset, so you can then choose your next best step from a place of greater clarity.

What strategy helps you keep from turning into a big ball of worry and fear? Please share your ideas below or on Instagram. Peace be with you.

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