Category Archives: Uncategorized

Is Your Desire To Live Without Regret Bigger Than Your Fear?

Christi Hegstad May 21st, 2015


How do you go from singing into your hairbrush as a child to, three decades later, stepping onstage and singing for upwards of 1,500 people? 

I recently had the opportunity to ask this and several other questions to Jennifer Goveia as part of the ASPIRE Success Club‘s Adventures In Boldness interview series. Jennifer, an HR professional with State Farm Insurance by day and the lead singer of Illinois-based band Rosetta Stone by night, shared her perspectives on courage, confidence, and living a life with no regrets. She openly shared with us how her frightening-yet-purposeful adventures have shaped who she is today and made a difference for others in the process.

A few of Jennifer’s inspiring suggestions:

1. Seize the opportunity, even before you’re ready. 

Jennifer has loved singing her entire life but, until age 33, her experience consisted of the aforementioned hairbrush, solo car rides, and the like. When she learned that a local band was looking for new lead vocals, she decided to audition. “They actually had someone else in mind for the part,” Jennifer shared. “It was my first time singing in front of others, and I was terrified. But I also really wanted the position!” 

Rather than feel unqualified or give in to her fear, Jennifer practiced, prepared, and rocked the audition – and has been singing onstage ever since.

2. Voice your praise.

Although Jennifer had a passion for singing, it wasn’t until someone else pointed out her potential that she started thinking about doing it publicly. “I was singing in the car, and my husband-to-be acknowledged my voice,” remembered Jennifer. “I’ve always had the passion for music, but lacked the confidence. His comments started planting those seeds of confidence in me, and it wasn’t long after that everything else transpired.”

We often don’t realize how powerfully our words impact others, and Jennifer’s story serves as an important reminder. One positive, genuine piece of praise can truly alter the course of someone’s life.

3. Measure your fear against possible regret.

“Even though I was excited, the first time I went on stage I had all kinds of fearful thoughts,” Jennifer recalled. “I remember being backstage thinking, ‘Let me disappear! Let them cancel the show!’ Preparation and positive reinforcement helped, but it was still scary.

“And what it came down to for me was this: I asked myself, ‘What if I looked back at the end of my life and realize I didn’t even try this? How would I feel?’ For me, the answer was regret, disappointment. My desire to live without that regret was bigger than my fear.”

In ASPIRE, we have been discussing vulnerability, comparison, and handling the critics – as there are always going to be some. Jennifer’s response to this topic was so profound, I wrote it on my white board in my office and hope it resonates with you too:

“You can’t control what other people say. You can, however, control the volume.”

Whether you work in HR for a Fortune 50 company or sing lead vocals for a band (or both, like Jennifer!), consider how you can play bigger in your role. What exciting opportunity can you seize – even if you’re not 100% ready yet? Whom can you praise and start planting seeds of confidence? When you look back over your life, what do you want to make sure you gave a shot?

Let Jennifer’s experience inspire and motivate you to have your own Adventures In Boldness!

To find out more about Rosetta Stone, visit them on Facebook!


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What if your boldest dream is actually within reach…and you don’t even realize it? 

Dr. Christi Hegstad, Dream Igniter & Growth Accelerator. Christi is a Certified Coach who has helped thousands clarify and reach Big Dreams and Bold Goals with meaning and purpose. She is president of MAP Professional Development Inc., NAWBO Iowa’s Woman Business Owner of the Year, and mom to three amazing kids. 

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Connect with Christi on Facebook and Twitter.

The Daily Question and Your Power To Change

Christi Hegstad May 18th, 2015

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

Steve Jobs

Coaching Tip for the Week:


If you ask yourself the question Jobs asked for so many years, what’s your response? 

We all experience lulls, face challenges, or get stuck in ruts at times. We also have aspects of our work that we must do but would rather not. 

This applies even for those who do what they love.

But if those negative or frustrating experiences outweigh the positive ones, something needs to change. And the power to change is in your hands.

If you wait around for someone else to change things for you, you might wait forever.

This week, honestly ask yourself that question, and if you feel the answer has been “No” for too long, commit to re-examining your days, time, and life. Start with these 3 actions – ideally with the support of an experienced coach or professional:

1. Pull out your calendar and set aside a couple of hours for your work/life evaluation. 

2. Create a vivid picture of your ideal. 

3. Commit to one simple change to start. What’s one thing you could add to your schedule (yoga? a morning practice? weekly dinner with friends?) to bring more meaning and purpose into your life? What’s one thing you could remove? What’s one thing you’ve been thinking about forever and need to finally act on?


You likely don’t need an overnight overhaul – just a compelling vision of what could be and some faith-filled movement in that direction! 



Share your thoughts with us on Facebook and Twitter!

What if your boldest dream is actually within reach…and you don’t even realize it? 

Dr. Christi Hegstad, Dream Igniter & Growth Accelerator. Christi is a Certified Coach who has helped thousands clarify and reach Big Dreams and Bold Goals with meaning and purpose. She is president of MAP Professional Development Inc., NAWBO Iowa’s Woman Business Owner of the Year, and mom to three amazing kids. 

Receive helpful articles, resources, and 5 insightful audios – for free! Click “Join Our Mailing List” above.

Connect with Christi on Facebook and Twitter.

 

 

Are You Ready To Dare Greatly?

Christi Hegstad May 14th, 2015

This article was first published by the Des Moines Business Record blog.

“Alright class, let’s get into our topics for today: Shame! Vulnerability! The fact that we will never, ever be perfect!”

So began our leadership sessions last week. You might think with an opening like that, my group would have turned and run for the hills. Quite the contrary: After an initial moment of “For real?” these professionals delved into our topics with honesty and great candor.

Afterwards, I think we all left the room feeling like a weight had lifted.

Professor and author Brene Brown has paved this path of conversation for us with The Gifts of Imperfection and, more recently, Daring Greatly. Her practical, down-to-earth warmth coupled with decades of research has opened floodgates of discussion. Once-taboo topics that deeply impact us all can now hold center stage.

So what place does vulnerability hold in leadership? How can the awareness of shame actually enhance our effectiveness at work? What does “wholehearted living” have to do with career success?

As it turns out, the leadership implications of Brene’s work are significant. Consider your own role, for example. Do you:

And here’s a big one: Do you admit your own mistakes and failures? Even to those you lead?

In a group coaching session recently, a few of my clients were discussing failure, fear, and vulnerability. “I always thought admitting my failures would decrease others’ respect for me,” one courageous professional admitted. “When I shared my big flub-up last year though, I experienced an outpouring of support and a newfound level of respect because I was real. Now my team knows they can take risks – even if they mess up sometimes – because how else do you grow?”

Vulnerability isn’t letting it all hang out; rather, as Brene writes, it’s “sharing our feelings and experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them.” A few other nuggets to bring into your leadership:

As a leader, be willing to dare greatly. Dare to take a stand. Dare to stand up for yourself. As Brene so eloquently writes, we all want to be brave.

We all want you to be brave, too.

 

Christi Hegstad MAP Inc HeadshotCOACH’S CHALLENGE:

Commit to daring greatly this week. With the support of your coach or trusted adviser, explore where you’ve been holding back and decide how you can now take a step forward.

Can you share a story with your team about a time when you were less than perfect? Apply for the promotion that self-doubt has kept you from? Admit that past mistakes do not define your future?

Don’t just think about daring greatly – take an action that puts you into the arena, knowing that you’ll make a difference and come out stronger.

 

Share your thoughts with us on Facebook and Twitter!

What if your boldest dream is actually within reach…and you don’t even realize it? 

Dr. Christi Hegstad, Dream Igniter & Growth Accelerator. Christi is a Certified Coach who has helped thousands clarify and reach Big Dreams and Bold Goals with meaning and purpose. She is president of MAP Professional Development Inc., NAWBO Iowa’s Woman Business Owner of the Year, and mom to three amazing kids. 

Receive helpful articles, resources, and 5 insightful audios – for free! Click “Join Our Mailing List” above.

Connect with Christi on Facebook and Twitter.

 

The Imaginary Sign That Changes Everything

Christi Hegstad May 11th, 2015

“Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, ‘Make me feel important.'”
Mary Kay Ash

Coaching Tip for the Week:

 

This is one of my all-time favorite quotes by one of my all-time favorite business owners. It promotes such a terrific way of being, doesn’t it? 

Think about her suggestion for a moment. How might living this out – even for a day – change the people around you? 

Do you think it could even alter the entire course of someone’s life?

This may sound idealistic, but it’s absolutely possible and happens frequently. We’ve all heard stories of people who felt down and out, then one kind gesture or statement or action changed their entire perspective. You could be the catalyst that turns their life around. 



What have you got to lose?

This week, envision that sign on everyone you encounter, and act accordingly. Your family members, coworkers, boss, baristas, servers, librarians, mail carriers, pet groomers…everyone. Decide in the moment what will make him or her feel important, then act on that decision.

Too often we think about offering a compliment or sharing a kind word or saying “thank you” for someone’s service…and thinking is as far as we get. Let’s take it a step further this week! I’ll do it too. And I would love to hear how it goes for you. 🙂 

 

Share your thoughts with us on Facebook and Twitter!

What if your boldest dream is actually within reach…and you don’t even realize it? 

Dr. Christi Hegstad, Dream Igniter & Growth Accelerator. Christi is a Certified Coach who has helped thousands clarify and reach Big Dreams and Bold Goals with meaning and purpose. She is president of MAP Professional Development Inc., NAWBO Iowa’s Woman Business Owner of the Year, and mom to three amazing kids. 

Receive helpful articles, resources, and 5 insightful audios – for free! Click “Join Our Mailing List” above.

Connect with Christi on Facebook and Twitter.

 

Showing Up And Giving Your All: In The Arena With Nancy Day Blasberg

Christi Hegstad May 6th, 2015

We live in a culture that thrives on fear. Just watch the news for 5 minutes or scan the headlines of the daily paper and you’ll see proof of that. So how do we gracefully, courageously move forward through life when so much wants to hold us back?

This was one of the questions I asked Nancy Day Blasberg, certified Brene Brown facilitator, in our recent interview with the ASPIRE Success Club. A coach and business owner for 15 years, Nancy has helped hundreds of clients succeed in spite of – or, rather, alongside – their doubts and uncertainties. And, since none of us is immune, she has also navigated her share of them as well. 

After attending Spark in 2013, Nancy pursued her dream of becoming certified to teach Brene Brown’s outstanding work in areas like vulnerability, shame, and resilience, and generously shared some of her insights with us. A few highlights:

On vulnerability: If you are scared to put yourself out there because of what the critics might say, take heart. “There will be critics no matter what,” Nancy reminds us. “No matter how hard we try, we can’t escape uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” Recognizing that truth, circling yourself with support, and believing in yourself can lighten the fear (as does practice). Also, Nancy adds, “Don’t put the key to your self-worth in someone else’s hands.”   

On failure: When you judge your worth by dollar amounts, whether or not you made the sale, or some other external measure, you will likely always feel not-quite-enough. “I redefined failure for myself,” Nancy shares. “My main question now is, Did I show up? As in, did I give it my all? Was I fully in the game? If my answer is yes, then regardless of the outcome, I did not fail.” 

On control: No matter how hard we try, we cannot escape uncertainty and risk. Many of us want to take a risk only when we’re quite certain how it will play out which, by definition, isn’t much of a risk at all. Nancy gives great perspective here: “We have responsibility for our lives, but we don’t have control.” Take action, put yourself out there, and be willing to detach from the outcome.  

Brene Brown opens her book, Daring Greatly, with Roosevelt’s famous “Man In The Arena” speech. As Nancy describes it, we are all playing in various arenas in life: career, family, financial, health, and so on. As we explore our most important arenas, she encourages us to ask two questions: 

Who do I really want to be in that arena?

How do I truly want to engage with life?

Answering those questions with pure honesty and vulnerability can transform who and how you are in this world. If enough of us decide to honor courage over fear, to fully show up, and to take responsibility, we will inspire others to dare greatly as well!

Learn more about Nancy Day Blasberg and her work at www.rocketcoach.com.

Share your thoughts with us on Facebook and Twitter!

What if your boldest dream is actually within reach…and you don’t even realize it? 

Dr. Christi Hegstad, Dream Igniter & Growth Accelerator. Christi is a Certified Coach who has helped thousands clarify and reach Big Dreams and Bold Goals with meaning and purpose. She is president of MAP Professional Development Inc., NAWBO Iowa’s Woman Business Owner of the Year, and mom to three amazing kids. 

Receive helpful articles, resources, and 5 insightful audios – for free! Click “Join Our Mailing List” above.

Connect with Christi on Facebook and Twitter.


  

What You May Not See, But Need To Know

Christi Hegstad May 4th, 2015

People who need help sometimes look a lot like people who don’t need help.'”
Glennon Doyle Melton

Coaching Tip for the Week:


Sometimes you can easily tell when someone needs an extra dose of support or a helping hand. You might see stress welling up in their eyes or tension in their nonverbals. If you’re lucky, they might come right out and ask for help.



But sometimes, people who appear to have it all together are inwardly craving a helping hand. I’ve received so many reminders of this lately.



That rockstar employee who never seems to falter? She might go home each evening to care for a parent who doesn’t recall who she is.



That IT gal who remains calm and friendly through the zillion technological challenges at the office? She may leave work to go to her second job in order to make ends meet.



That nonprofit leader who dedicates countless hours to improving living conditions for others but misses an afternoon of work every other week? He might be attending therapy sessions to navigate an unexpected loss.



This week, show compassion. To absolutely everyone. Assume there’s more to their story than meets the eye and envelop them in compassion. Offer a listening ear, a kind word, even just a look of understanding. We all want to feel cared about, even if we don’t want to share the details of our challenges.

And if you are in need of an extra dose of support or a helping hand, practice self-compassion and ask for what you need.  



How can you show compassion this week? Share your thoughts with us on Facebook and Twitter!

What if your boldest dream is actually within reach…and you don’t even realize it? 

Dr. Christi Hegstad, Dream Igniter & Growth Accelerator. Christi is a Certified Coach who has helped thousands clarify and reach Big Dreams and Bold Goals with meaning and purpose. She is president of MAP Professional Development Inc., NAWBO Iowa’s Woman Business Owner of the Year, and mom to three amazing kids. 

Receive helpful articles, resources, and 5 insightful audios – for free! Click “Join Our Mailing List” above.

Connect with Christi on Facebook and Twitter.


 

Forget Time Management – You Need To Go Deeper

Christi Hegstad April 30th, 2015

While out for a walk earlier this week, I spotted the sign pictured here. You really can’t argue with Wright’s logic, can you? 😉

 

Do you have the time to walk wherever you’d like? How about to play with your family, to engage in a hobby, or even to quietly think through a challenge at work?

 

I initially planned for this article to include ways to save time, create time, and master time. But you know what? You can find those tips and tricks everywhere (including several of my previous blogs, like here and here for example).

 

I think we need to go deeper.

 

Rather than offer suggestions and share strategies, let me take a coaching approach and help you think about your time differently. Consider these questions, perhaps even using them as journal prompts or conversation starters with your team:


  1. If I awarded you an extra 5 hours per week, how would you spend it? (Assume sleep and all basic needs are met.) 
  2. On what do you spend more time than you’d like?
  3. What engages you so deeply, you lose track of time?
  4. If I looked at your calendar and to-do list, what would I consider your most important priorities?
  5. What one thing do you really wish you had more time for?
Of course, I can’t leave you there without asking:

What will you do about it?



Responding to these questions connects you with your deeper motivation – much more likely to prompt change than a checklist of do’s and don’t’s. If you don’t know how to answer one or more of those questions, ponder a bit while out on a walk or in a journal. 



And if one of the questions makes you particularly uncomfortable, that might indicate a terrific starting point for change.



Yes, time flies. But as the saying goes, you’re the pilot. Decide who and what matters most, commit to making a change, get the accountability you need, and watch things transform. You might actually feel like you’ve been given those 5 extra hours per week, simply because of your proactive and intentional steps!  

 

COACH CHRISTI’S CHALLENGE: Set an appointment with yourself to focus on a new, energizing, intentional schedule. 


Revisit your priorities and your responses to the above questions, then commit to one shift in your schedule that will start bringing you a sense of meaning and purpose: maybe not checking email until 9am, setting up “No-Meeting Mondays,” or regularly walking with a friend over lunch. 

 

Let me know how it goes!    

 

What shift will you make to become more intentional with your time? Share your thoughts on Facebook and Twitter

 

 

What if your boldest dream is actually within reach…and you don’t even realize it? 

Dr. Christi Hegstad, Dream Igniter & Growth Accelerator. Christi is a Certified Coach who has helped thousands clarify and reach Big Dreams and Bold Goals with meaning and purpose. She is president of MAP Professional Development Inc., NAWBO Iowa’s Woman Business Owner of the Year, and mom to three amazing kids. 

Receive helpful articles, resources, and 5 insightful audios – for free! Click “Join Our Mailing List” above.

Connect with Christi on Facebook and Twitter.


Changing A Life With A Conversation

Christi Hegstad April 27th, 2015


“As a coach, your only mission is to wake up each morning and ask yourself: ‘Who can I serve so powerfully that they never forget our conversation for the rest of their life?'”
Steve Chandler & Rich Litvin

Coaching Tip for the Week:

 

Replace the word “coach” in that line with one of your roles: manager, teacher, HR professional, leader, parent. How would that mission – to serve people so powerfully that they never, ever forget their interaction with you – change your actions?



One of the most common frustrations I hear from new coaching clients is that they feel so caught up in the day-to-day that they don’t have much opportunity to engage their strengths and make their difference.

Part of the solution, of course, is strong time management. (If you need help with this, watch your Do What You Love! eletter this week for an upcoming event!)

The other part is realizing that you can make your difference no matter what you’re doing. With every interaction, you influence someone else – whether you’re aware of it or not.

This week, intentionally improve someone’s life. Before starting a conversation with a client, customer, family member, coworker, competitor, stranger in the coffee shop, or anyone else, decide (yes, simply decide) to serve them powerfully.

Then, truly engage in the conversation: make eye contact, listen actively, repeat what they’ve shared so they truly feel heard. Turn off your phone and tune in to them. Make them feel like the most important person in the world for the time you’re together.

You might be surprised how much of a difference you can make in someone’s life simply by being truly present, engaged, and focusing on serving them in that moment.

How else might you intentionally improve someone’s life this week? Share your thoughts with us on Facebook and Twitter!

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What if your boldest dream is actually within reach…and you don’t even realize it? 

Dr. Christi Hegstad, Dream Igniter & Growth Accelerator. Christi is a Certified Coach who has helped thousands clarify and reach Big Dreams and Bold Goals with meaning and purpose. She is president of MAP Professional Development Inc., NAWBO Iowa’s Woman Business Owner of the Year, and mom to three amazing kids. 

Receive helpful articles, resources, and 5 insightful audios – for free! Click “Join Our Mailing List” above.

Connect with Christi on Facebook and Twitter.



 

That Little Something Extra

Christi Hegstad April 20th, 2015


“Lesson #6: We all do the same things. It’s how we do them that makes the difference.”
Regina Brett

Coaching Tip for the Week:


When I first read this lesson in Regina Brett’s fabulous book, Be The Miracle, I brushed it off. “We don’t all do the same things,” I thought to myself, and kept reading.

But my mind has continued coming back to this lesson. The more I consider it, the more it rings true.

Yes, we are each unique individuals making our own way in the world. We each have particular talents, responsibilities, and daily tasks that set us apart.

But much of what we do, so does everyone else. And if we pay attention, we can make a stronger impact by adding a little something extra. 

Think of ordering a latte, for example: some shops make it plain, and it’s fine. Others add a little splash of delight (like the accompanying photo), and that special touch makes a lasting impression on the recipient. 

This week, get off of autopilot. Rather than thinking of daily tasks as just another chore or “must-do,” ask yourself how you could add a little something special or bring joy to the mundane. Consider these examples:

We all converse with others. But what if you truly listened to the other person rather than thinking about what to say next?

We all work – at a business, from home, within our families. But what if you took great care and pride in your work, thinking of your current task as a fulfilling part of your purpose?

We all see people when moving from one activity to the next. But what if you looked them in the eye and smiled before moving on?  

Where else could you add a little extra?  


Share your thoughts with us on Facebook and Twitter!

What if your boldest dream is actually within reach…and you don’t even realize it? 

Dr. Christi Hegstad, Dream Igniter & Growth Accelerator. Christi is a Certified Coach who has helped thousands clarify and reach Big Dreams and Bold Goals with meaning and purpose. She is president of MAP Professional Development Inc., NAWBO Iowa’s Woman Business Owner of the Year, and mom to three amazing kids. 

Receive helpful articles, resources, and 5 insightful audios – for free! Click “Join Our Mailing List” above.

Connect with Christi on Facebook and Twitter.



 

Courage, Passion, and Making a Significant Difference: Meet Melissa Clarke-Wharff

Christi Hegstad April 15th, 2015

Imagine your active 8-year-old son unexpectedly suffers multiple strokes, after which he must re-learn how to do pretty much everything. An avid sports fan his entire young life, you decide to take him to an adaptive sports facility so he can engage in his passion while healing – only to discover no such facility exists.

What do you do?

If you’re Melissa Clarke-Wharff, you create that facility. Not only for your son, but for any of the 28,000 children in your community that want to play but, for various reasons, cannot operate at full speed.

After 25 years in the hospitality industry, Melissa left her “safe” job to create Courage League Sports, a nonprofit with a very clear vision: Every child deserves to play. With a small but dedicated staff, numerous volunteers, and support from her entire network, Melissa has grown the registered nonprofit to help over 200 families play – a number that continues to increase as they collaborate more with area organizations and schools.

Melissa took time from her busy, fulfilling schedule recently to share her journey with the ASPIRE Success Club. A few of her many lessons imparted:

Jump In & Get Started. Melissa didn’t have all the answers when she began this project, but she had passion, dedication, and was a “mom on a mission.” Rather than waiting until she had everything figured out or until that elusive “perfect time,” Melissa just took a step – and then another, and another. “You’ve got to put yourself out there,” Melissa shares. “Be flexible, keep a good sense of humor, and do what you can and need to do.” 

Develop A Strong Support System. Having good support is a non-negotiable when pursuing your passion. For Melissa, support comes from her family, team, colleagues, board of directors, and more. From providing expertise to talking through fears to volunteering at the facility, Melissa isn’t sure where she’d be with her strong support network. “They help me look at things in a different way,” she explains.

Let Inspiration Guide You. Challenges arise, unexpected barriers appear, things get tough. What keeps a person moving through the trials? For Melissa, inspiration comes from several places: knowing her work makes a difference, doing the right thing, modeling how one can turn a passion into a reality. Most of all, her son, now age 14, inspires her: “Jack has had 30 leg surgeries over the past 5 years. I find strength in his strength. If he can endure what he does, then I can do what I’m doing.” 

“If you think something will make a difference,” Melissa advises, “you’ve got to go with it.” Start somewhere. Surround yourself with support. Pay attention to your inspiration.

And if (when) the going gets tough, think of Melissa, Jack, and all the athletes and Courage League Sports – and let their bravery inspire yours!

Learn more about Melissa and Courage League Sports at www.courageleaguesports.com.

What if your boldest dream is actually within reach…and you don’t even realize it? 

Dr. Christi Hegstad, Dream Igniter & Growth Accelerator. Christi is a Certified Coach who has helped thousands clarify and reach Big Dreams and Bold Goals with meaning and purpose. She is president of MAP Professional Development Inc., NAWBO Iowa’s Woman Business Owner of the Year, and mom to three amazing kids. 

Receive helpful articles, resources, and 5 insightful audios – for free! Click “Join Our Mailing List” above.

Connect with Christi on Facebook and Twitter.



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