If becoming more intentional with your time is one of your New Year’s resolutions, here are 5 of my favorite tips to get you started:
1. Engage in a morning practice.
This may sound dramatic, but starting my morning practice truly changed my life! Whether you journal, meditate, pray, visualize, stretch, or say a few quiet gratitudes before getting out of bed, start your day in a positive, proactive way. Read my earlier Huffington Post article if you’d like more ideas.
2. Schedule a weekly review + planning session with yourself.
Set aside 30 minutes or so to assess the past week and design your schedule and goals for the upcoming one. Make a little ceremony out of this time: Pour a hot beverage, light a candle, turn on some Bach. I typically do this on Sunday evenings and love starting the week feeling prepared.
3. Set 1-3 meaningful goals to work toward.
I like to set 3 Bold Goals for the year (if you’d like to learn my process, I’ll share the details early in the ASPIRE Success Club). You can do something similar, or set goals for shorter time periods, too – the quarter, month, or week, for example. Don’t forget to track your progress!
4. Identify your time zappers.
What pulls you away from being intentional with your time? Be honest with yourself here, and with no judgment – only a desire for change. Consider potentially obvious zappers (social media? Netflix binges?) as well as more insidious ones (indecision or worry, perhaps). Identify to address.
5. Implement one simple, mindful routine in your day.
Years ago, one of my clients struggled with ‘turning off work’ when she left the office. We decided to have her use her commute to her advantage: Each day, when she drove over the bridge halfway between work and home, she would use that as her landmark to let go of work, quiet her mind, and shift gears to home and family. You could do this with a midday cup of tea, lighting a candle after dinner, or writing in your Success Journal.
We will be focusing on time, priorities, and purposeful action in the ASPIRE Success Club! If you’d like the tools I use to stay purposefully on track, genius ideas from your fellow ASPIRE members, and your growth supported for the entire year, join us!
What would you add to the list? Share your ideas below or on Instagram or Facebook!
There is no scarcity in creativity…There is no such thing as too much wisdom and literature and story and craftsmanship. There is room for you.
Jen Hatmaker
Coaching Tip of the Week:
Do you ever wonder why someone would purchase your product / hire your service / read your book / offer you the promotion / vote you into the position when there are so many other talented possibilities from which to choose?
Self-doubt, comparison, and feeling “not enough” can hold even the seemingly most confident people back. This simultaneously hurts my heart and fuels my passion for coaching, to help people see the powerful difference they make in the world and to clarify the strengths and contribution that make each of us so unique!
This week, trust your unique gifts.
You are here for a purpose, and to contribute in a way that only you can.
By pursuing your dreams and goals, honoring what lights you up, and making your unique difference, you change the world.
Even if you’re the 8 millionth person to give a presentation on financial advising or to write an article on servant leadership, no one has ever done it quite like you – and no one else ever will!
Please don’t deprive us of your amazingness! We need you.
As many of you know, for nearly 15 years I’ve set an annual theme. My 2017 theme has been FEARLESS.
The night before Spark, I cozied up, laptop nearby, and reflected on my FEARLESS theme. I thought about all the fearless actions I have taken this year, as well as what I’ve learned from fearless family members, clients, friends, and leaders I admire. The more deeply I reflected, the more examples of fearlessness came to mind. I must admit, I felt quite strong and emboldened by this immersion into fearlessness!
And then I glanced over to where my sister was sleeping, spotted a mouse scurrying under her bed, and I immediately jumped on top of the furniture, screamed, and went into full freak-out mode.
Perhaps I am not *quite* as fearless as I thought. 🙂
I didn’t beat myself up over that, though. Besides the fact that we are all a work in progress, I view fearlessness mostly in terms of my values, purpose, and overall vision. If I speak up when a core value is not being honored but squeal at the sight of a tiny critter in my room, so be it!
An Unexpected Theme Emerges
But as I’ve reflected more and more on 2017, I realize another theme has emerged, too: the theme of LETTING GO.
This year, my oldest child graduated from high school and moved on to college. A super exciting, inspiring time, for sure! And also, for this mama, a big lesson in letting go.
This year, I burned 90 of my journals from the past 30+ years (you can read about that experience here). The decision took me 15 years to make and required a great deal of letting go.
This year, I brought some new team members into MAP Inc. and learned the power in letting go of many things I previously thought only I could do. They have been outstanding and have inspired me to let go of even more!
And of course, this year I made the decision to let go of the public Spark event after 5 amazing years. While I still offer Spark within organizations and businesses, the annual fall gathering of 100+ purposeful professionals will not take place in the same way going forward.
What Letting Go Has Meant
Letting go isn’t the easiest thing in the world to do. But it always prompts growth – if we are open to it.
Letting go has taught me that my white-knuckle grip to try and control as much as possible does not serve me – nor those around me. When I open my palms, quiet my mind, and flow in purposeful action, miracles happen.
Letting go has created space in all areas: my mind, my calendar, my sense of possibility, and in the case of my journals, even my physical surroundings.
Perhaps most importantly, letting go has allowed me to listen more deeply to what I now feel called to do. For over a year, I’ve sensed the need to leap further out of my comfort zone, and I’ve even had some very specific ideas on what that might look like. But I’ve pushed those ideas to the back-burner because how do you let go – especially of things that are going well – in favor of the unknown? I couldn’t seem to quite get past this (see ‘white-knuckle grip’ above).
But I’ve learned. And here’s how I do it:
I get quiet and clear.
I do the necessary homework.
I gather support (my coach and mastermind group have been invaluable in this).
I run everything through the lens of my values, purpose, and what matters most.
And then I breathe in positivity and confidence, honor what I know to be true even amid the unknown, and take inspired action.
I am now able to coach more one-on-one clients than I could in the past, which is where such deep and transformational work occurs. I am bringing the ASPIRE Success Club, as well as my coaching course for leaders, into more organizations and potentially universities. I am connecting with counselors and mental health experts to explore ways we can support confidence, positivity, and coaching-style communication among more children and young adults. I am finally finishing the draft of my latest book, completing a Positive Psychology + Wellbeing coaching certification, and exploring the possibility of a podcast.
And I am staying open to other ways of reaching more people, more deeply, with the message of meaning, purpose, and making a positive difference.
Letting go has meant discomfort. It has meant allowing that voice that comes up with such big, wild, ridiculous – yet 100% inspired – ideas speak, rather than silencing it. It has meant clearing away to create space for the new.
And it has meant incredible – and in many cases, fearless – inspired action.
What’s Your Next Inspired Action?
In addition to the many tools and resources I’ve shared with you over the years (and all that are to come!), right now I want to encourage you to do one thing that has helped me tremendously these past few months.
You’ll need to set aside a quiet hour, hide your phone, and go somewhere outside of your usual space. Bring a few pens and some paper or a journal with you – and nothing else.
Get comfortable, then imagine that I’ve waved a magic wand over your next year and everything has flowed seamlessly and beautifully for you. You’ve achieved meaningful goals, grown in significant ways, and have made a powerful, positive difference.
Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and just envision whatever comes up for you. Honor the feelings that arise, too.
Then, from that space a year from now, write a letter to yourself – from your future self. Keep your pen to the paper, writing in stream-of-consciousness style for a full ten minutes or more.
Seriously.
Sounds woo-woo, right? But give it a try. You can apply the structured goal-setting strategies later. But first, connect with what appears and how you feel.
I’ve been surprised – and at times, utterly shocked – by what’s shown up for me lately. But the joy, knowingness, and sense of purpose that have accompanied it are too strong to ignore. And once I gain clarity, it’s just like Joseph Campbell wrote – doors begin to open where before I only saw walls.
Give yourself the space to play with this exercise before the new year and see what arises for you. And if you discover some Big Dreams or Bold Goals, feel free to connect – I’d love to help you make them a reality!
“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.”
Fred Rogers
Coaching Tip of the Week:
Maybe you are nearing the end of something – or many things:
The year.
Your chance to accomplish your 2017 goals.
Your current role.
Your kids living at home.
A life chapter, a leadership position, a volunteer commitment.
You might be mourning or celebrating (or both!) your upcoming ending.
This week, consider your new beginning.
Whether your ending brings you delight or discomfort, view this as an opportunity for growth.
What space will now open up for you?
If I waved a magic wand over you, what will things look like next year at this time?
What beginnings are now in sight?
Endings can be difficult, but – as Mr. Rogers so wisely reminds us – they also offer the opportunity for a new beginning. Spend some time this week focusing on what is starting fresh and new for you. You might find this makes you more present and intentional in the moment, too!
“If every single person in this room made it a rule that wherever you are, whenever you can, you will try to act a little kinder than necessary, the world really would be a better place.”
R. J. Palacio
Coaching Tip of the Week:
When one of my favorite books becomes a movie, I rarely see it. I am so glad I made an exception this past weekend in the case of Wonder!
This beautiful book reminds us of our common humanity, the power of kindness, and how everyone is fighting a battle we may know nothing about. Never, ever think that your acts of kindness – no matter how small – don’t make a difference. They do!
I highly recommend reading Wonder by R. J. Palacio and then seeing the movie (see my Instagram post from last night for more detail)!
This week, conduct an intentional act of kindness.
Random acts of kindness are amazing, and I recommend them as well.
But this week, I encourage you to reflect on one or two people in your life who could really use a lift – then take action.
Mail a handwritten note of thanks to your coworker who has gone the extra mile for you.
Leave a restaurant gift card in the tip jar of the homeless person who plays his guitar on the sidewalk every weekend.
Think of a family member who couldn’t join you for Thanksgiving this year, or who is having a difficult time, and give her a call to share your support and time.
And while you’re at it, imagine everyone you encounter this week – even the person who always seems so upbeat, and even the person who can find the dark cloud in any silver lining – is handling a challenge you know nothing about.
How else can you be kinder than necessary this week?
The human mind is like a fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted. The seeds are opinions, ideas, and concepts. You plant a seed, a thought, and it grows.
don Miguel Ruiz
Coaching Tip of the Week:
What seeds do you continually plant in your mind?
The ASPIRE Success Club recently discussed The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz, in which the first agreement is “Be impeccable with your word.” Not only in what you say to others, but in what you tell yourself. This second part can be so easy to forget or neglect!
This week, plant seeds of positivity.
If you tend to focus on the negative or jump to a worst-case-scenario conclusion, don’t assume this is the way it must always be. Neuroscience has shown us that we can actually rewire our brains!
Surround yourself with uplifting people who inspire, encourage, and challenge you.
Practice active listening.
Be curious. If someone shares a differing viewpoint than you, ask a few questions to gain perspective.
Read inspiring books and blogs, seek out positive forces on Instagram and Facebook, intentionally feed your mind gracious, kind, respectful, and meaningful content.
By routinely fueling yourself with positivity, you will find it becoming your default – one of the keys to meaningful work and a purposeful life!
Wondering what an entire year of support, encouragement, professional guidance, training, and more would be like? Find out in the 2018 ASPIRE Success Club! We’ve enhanced the curriculum, added new features, and are now enrolling (and filling quickly!).
Once you review the FAQs below, click here for more details and to enroll!
How does ASPIRE differ from other networking groups?
First and foremost, ASPIRE is not a networking group: It’s focused on education, connection, and professional growth. Dr. Christi Hegstad utilizes research, best practices, coaching wisdom, and more to design a curriculum that consistently helps members flourish in meaningful work and purposeful lives.
At the start of the year, members participate in a training to determine the Bold Goal for which ASPIRE will help them achieve and hold them accountable. Then, each month, members receive exercises, worksheets, and Coach Christi’s Challenge to purposefully move forward toward their vision and goals.
Although ASPIRE is not a networking group, in our annual membership survey over 90% of respondents consistently report gaining business or advancing their careers as a direct result of their membership, so that’s a definite plus!
How many people join ASPIRE each year?
We limit membership to 125 women to ensure everyone has the opportunity to contribute to meetings, participate in social activities, and fully engage!
ASPIRE members read four books throughout the year – one per quarter. What are the four selections for 2018?
In 2018 we will use these four books as a launchpad for our monthly discussions: The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins, Essentialism by Greg McKeown, The Artist’s Way (and The Artist’s Way at Work) by Julia Cameron, and Playing Big by Tara Mohr!
Some people join ASPIRE with the goal of reading more; others may not read a single page. Either way, you will still be able to fully participate in the discussions.
What is my anticipated time commitment?
Your time commitment mostly depends on how much time you choose to commit! At the ASPIRE Virtual level, since there are no meetings or commitments involved, your time involves simply however much you dedicate on your own (plus a 90-minute or so quarterly social gathering, if you choose to attend).
At the ASPIRE Success Club level, you can expect to commit 1-2 hours per month in meetings and gatherings.
At the ASPIRE Academy level, your group involvement will likely total 2-4 hours per month. You will be amazed how much you will gain from those few hours of discussion, meetings, and masterminding!
Like with most things in life, you will get out of ASPIRE what you put into it!
Who leads the monthly meetings?
In the ASPIRE Success Club, Dr. Christi leads most of the meetings; periodically, her team of certified coaches – who have also been involved in ASPIRE for years – will facilitate meetings as well. In the ASPIRE Academy, Dr. Christi leads all the trainings and masterminding. (ASPIRE Virtual does not include any meetings.)
Why is ASPIRE in all caps?
Each letter represents qualities on which ASPIRE members focus: Action, Strength, Positivity, Integrity, Relationships, and Excellence. This is truly an extraordinary group of professional women!
Do you have other questions? If we haven’t answered them here, on the ASPIRE website, or in the 2018 ASPIRE – Enrollment Flyer, please feel free to contact us – we are happy to help!
Hope to see you in ASPIRE ’18! We are ready for an amazing year!
Look familiar? They may, as they comprise three of the most common New Year’s resolutions year after year. They’re also quite boring in my opinion, but more on that in a moment.
Years ago, someone told me that the best time to create your goals is right when you’ve landed from a skydiving jump – you’re in such an “I can do ANYTHING!” mood that you infuse your goals with energy, excitement, and expansion. Having jumped out of an airplane myself, I can attest to this! I now wish I’d had a notebook with me during my skydiving adventure. 🙂
But even if you don’t have plans to leap from a plane before the new year, you can take other steps to create exciting, colorful goals. Below are five tips I incorporate into every goal-setting experience.
1. Start With Your Wins.
The success rate with New Year’s resolutions tends to be extremely low, and I think I know the reason: We typically set them – and often, our goals in general – from a place of lack. You might look at what you haven’t succeeded at yet, or where you messed up and vow to do differently.
I challenge you to start from the opposite perspective. Make a big list of your wins – both planned and unexpected. Include everything you can think of: The completed work project that required every ounce of creativity you, the family trip you took, the houseplants you kept alive.
Celebrate those wins before you take one more action.
2. Brainstorm With A Magic Wand.
From this place of success and abundance, begin brainstorming what you’d love to create in the coming year. I suggest creating a Breakthrough Map for this purpose, exploring various areas of your career, family, health, finances, and so on.
As you generate ideas, do so as if time, money, courage, and energy are in abundant supply – like I am waving a magic wand over your year. Focus on what you’d like to see, not how. The how comes later.
I’m often asked how many goals I set each year. The answer: I typically set three Bold Goals, along with various other smaller projects and goals. You can learn details about how I do this via my Big Dreams, Bold Goals workshops, or in the ASPIRE Bold Goal training next January if you decide to join us.
3. Write Your Goal In Present Tense.
Once you’ve decided which goals to pursue, write them in the present tense. For example, “I am so happy and grateful that I tripled incoming funds for my nonprofit!” or “I am so energized now that I have sent my manuscript to the publisher!”
This may sound weird at first, but there is powerful neuroscience behind this. If you state your goals in the “I will” or “I’m going to” format, you are always in ‘chase mode’ – there will always be some dissonance between you and the goal. If you phrase it as though it’s already here, you’ll bridge that gap and can focus on the next right action.
4. Infuse Positivity.
In a nutshell, make sure your goals move you toward something positive, not away from something negative. Pay attention to your language and word selection. This subtle shift will do wonders for your mindset. (Watch for an upcoming blog for more detail around this.)
5. Envision How Success Will Feel.
When you see yourself at the end of next year, celebrating your success, how does it feel? Did getting your research published boost your confidence? Did successfully leading your team through the transition fill you with energy? Identify the specific feeling connected to your goal – then ask yourself, “How can I start feeling that today?”
Goal-setting – life itself – is not an if/then endeavor: If I achieve the goal, then I can enjoy the feeling. Your mindset is powerful and you can choose your experience. Practice this! It will actually ease the pathway to your goal success.
Bonus Tip:
I always end my goals with the phrase “This or something better” to make room for awesomeness that I can’t even imagine yet. This allows me to consistently move toward my goals but without the tunnel vision that might keep me from unexpected learnings and interesting detours.
Which of these tips speaks to you? Have you found others that support your goal achievement? Feel free to share below or on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.
Last summer, I did something I have thought about doing for 15 years. I burned 90 of my journals.
That’s right, essentially 90 books of handwritten memories, thoughts, ideas, daily recaps, and dreams. Down in flames. Up in smoke.
For those of you who do not journal, you are probably thinking, “Um…yeah? So?”
And if you do journal and perhaps, like me, have done so for nearly four decades, you may think one of three things, for starters:
1) “How could you? That’s your history!”
2) “Good job – out with the old, in with the new!” or
3) “I have thought about doing that, too…”.
Interestingly, a decision that took me 15 years to make took only a few days to execute.
The ‘Before’ Collection – 120+ journals
How I Decided To Let Go
As I mentioned, I have waffled over this idea for years. A few months ago, after a massive decluttering fit in various areas of my home, work, and life, I felt ready to make a decision once and for all: Either keep the journals and be happy about doing so, or let them go.
To decide, I turned – of course – to my journal.
I asked myself several questions, and a few really stood out:
1. Why do I journal?
2. Why would I save them? (And what would that feel like?)
3. Why would I burn them? (And what would that feel like?)
My responses formed an early decision (confirmation came later, which I will share in a moment). Why do I journal? The act serves so many purposes: I journal as a way to process emotions, solve problems, and vent on paper. I also journal as a method of dreaming, visioning, planning, and creating. I pray via my journal, brainstorm business ideas, and the mindful act of writing helps me understand myself and make sense – or at least strengthen my acceptance – of the world around me.
When I asked myself why I have saved them for so long and why I might continue to do so, I only had one real answer: nostalgia. Interestingly, however, I never go back and read through past journals.
My response to why would I burn them, however, was robust. To feel lighter, to free up the past, to relieve others from the onerous task of deciding what to do with them when I die, to create space – figuratively and literally – for the fresh and new, and about a dozen more reasons.
But mostly, for peace of mind.
I often decorate the covers myself. This is still one of my favorites.
Old Ways Won’t Open New Doors
For a rather prolific period of my life, I mostly journaled when upset, hurt, angry, feeling especially angsty, or swimming in low self-confidence. I might rant on paper, get it out of my system, and clear my head enough to return to life with a fresh perspective. Journaling allowed me to process through a struggle without taking it out on someone else or saying something I would regret.
In this way, journaling has afforded the opportunity to experience the full gamut of human emotions in a safe, sacrosanct place. As Christina Baldwin writes in Life’s Companion, “Journal writing provides a way we can practice intuitive skills without social embarrassment.” Agreed!
I never went back, however, and wrote how I solved the problem, or how it was all a misunderstanding, or how I was existing on two hours of sleep at the time of writing which may have skewed my perception of reality. If someone came across my journals, especially those from a stretch in young adulthood, they would not have an accurate picture of my life.
I looked at my responses to my questions, explored this through the lens of my Purpose Statement, and reflected. The negatives of holding onto the journals massively outweighed the positives. I made the decision to let them go.
And as soon as I started reading through them in preparation to release them, I knew with 100% certainty I made the right choice. I am not the same person I was in many of those journals – and I don’t really need the reminder of her, either. I saved certain pages and excerpts and meaningful moments (and nearly 30 entire journals, too), and I also took pictures of the covers for potential nostalgia’s sake. But releasing the contents into the shredder and bonfire was easier than I had imagined.
And oh, the closet space it opened up!
My first two journals ever, which I still have. Plus the secure locks ensure they will never be read, right?
Why I’m Still Journaling Today
Interestingly, once I began freely tossing all those old writings, my concern was not “Is this the right decision?” but rather “Will I ever write in a journal again?” This may sound melodramatic, but I have a very all-or-nothing personality, and I wondered if knowing that my journals may very likely become kindling for future bonfires would keep me from writing.
It has not. I still journal daily.
And that is perhaps the greatest lesson I have learned in this: Journaling, for me, is not about the end result, but rather about the act of writing in and of itself.
As an author and coach, I publish books, articles, chapters, and blogs frequently. I write those with my readers in mind and always try to educate or inspire in some fashion.
But journaling involves being fully present and downloading onto paper what I feel in the moment. My constantly-moving mind struggles with meditation and yoga and other mindfulness practices, yet when I write, I can only think about the words I am physically putting onto paper. I can only be in the present moment. Journaling is my meditation.
So I still journal. Like with a trusted friend, I can pour out my heart however I need to, without censorship, without fear.
A cover I didn’t need to decorate, because it already spoke the truth.
Going Forward
Through this process, I realized once again that I do not need to save every word I write. When my dissertation for my doctoral degree was approved, for example, I did not hold onto every past rough draft. What I have dubbed my Great Journal Clearout of 2017 felt a little like letting go of some of my ‘life rough drafts’ as I continue to evolve, transform, and grow.
My decision to let go of old journals may not be the right one for you. Maybe you destroy your journals each time you fill one, or maybe you store them all in a climate-controlled unit and plan to until the end of time.
Maybe the thought of letting them go makes you cringe, in which case your outcome will likely be different than mine.
Maybe you won’t even ask the questions right now because you know you’re not in a space to make a strong, confident decision.
And that’s ok. You do what’s right for you.
For me, while I can question my decisions like a pro, this one (which, remember, only took 15 years to make!) felt and continues to feel 100% right for me. Maybe my next 90 journals will fare differently, maybe not. Either way, I will continue to savor the daily art of journaling for the creative, mindful act that it is, and revel in the clarity and expansiveness that has come with letting go of the old to create space for the new.
Imagine a coworker walks by without acknowledging you. Do you instantly think you must have done something to offend him?
When you give a presentation, write an article, or craft a social media post, do you focus on how smart you sound – or on what your audience member/reader most needs?
Early in my business, when I was freaking out about something or other, one of my first coaches gifted me with this phrase: “Christi, remember: It’s not about you.” That has become somewhat of a mantra for me ever since.
This week, consider this possibility: It’s not about you.
When we remember these four words – It’s Not About You – we take things less personally, and we can also focus more on growth of others as well as ourselves. This can be both a great service and a huge relief.
Honor your boundaries, of course, but don’t let assumptions drag you down.
If someone brushes you off, ask yourself what they might be dealing with that you don’t know about.
If someone cuts in front of you in traffic, imagine with compassion what scenario might cause them to be in a hurry.
If someone acts jealous of you, know that they’re responding to something inside them, not you.
If you are speaking, writing, or serving in other ways, remember: It’s not about how great you are or how fantastic you look or how many ‘tweetables’ you offer.
It’s about lifting humanity, helping people know they matter, drawing out the best in others.
