The human mind is like a fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted. The seeds are opinions, ideas, and concepts. You plant a seed, a thought, and it grows.
don Miguel Ruiz
Coaching Tip of the Week:
What seeds do you continually plant in your mind?
The ASPIRE Success Club recently discussed The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz, in which the first agreement is “Be impeccable with your word.” Not only in what you say to others, but in what you tell yourself. This second part can be so easy to forget or neglect!
This week, plant seeds of positivity.
If you tend to focus on the negative or jump to a worst-case-scenario conclusion, don’t assume this is the way it must always be. Neuroscience has shown us that we can actually rewire our brains!
Surround yourself with uplifting people who inspire, encourage, and challenge you.
Practice active listening.
Be curious. If someone shares a differing viewpoint than you, ask a few questions to gain perspective.
Read inspiring books and blogs, seek out positive forces on Instagram and Facebook, intentionally feed your mind gracious, kind, respectful, and meaningful content.
By routinely fueling yourself with positivity, you will find it becoming your default – one of the keys to meaningful work and a purposeful life!
Wondering what an entire year of support, encouragement, professional guidance, training, and more would be like? Find out in the 2018 ASPIRE Success Club! We’ve enhanced the curriculum, added new features, and are now enrolling (and filling quickly!).
Once you review the FAQs below, click here for more details and to enroll!
How does ASPIRE differ from other networking groups?
First and foremost, ASPIRE is not a networking group: It’s focused on education, connection, and professional growth. Dr. Christi Hegstad utilizes research, best practices, coaching wisdom, and more to design a curriculum that consistently helps members flourish in meaningful work and purposeful lives.
At the start of the year, members participate in a training to determine the Bold Goal for which ASPIRE will help them achieve and hold them accountable. Then, each month, members receive exercises, worksheets, and Coach Christi’s Challenge to purposefully move forward toward their vision and goals.
Although ASPIRE is not a networking group, in our annual membership survey over 90% of respondents consistently report gaining business or advancing their careers as a direct result of their membership, so that’s a definite plus!
How many people join ASPIRE each year?
We limit membership to 125 women to ensure everyone has the opportunity to contribute to meetings, participate in social activities, and fully engage!
ASPIRE members read four books throughout the year – one per quarter. What are the four selections for 2018?
In 2018 we will use these four books as a launchpad for our monthly discussions: The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins, Essentialism by Greg McKeown, The Artist’s Way (and The Artist’s Way at Work) by Julia Cameron, and Playing Big by Tara Mohr!
Some people join ASPIRE with the goal of reading more; others may not read a single page. Either way, you will still be able to fully participate in the discussions.
What is my anticipated time commitment?
Your time commitment mostly depends on how much time you choose to commit! At the ASPIRE Virtual level, since there are no meetings or commitments involved, your time involves simply however much you dedicate on your own (plus a 90-minute or so quarterly social gathering, if you choose to attend).
At the ASPIRE Success Club level, you can expect to commit 1-2 hours per month in meetings and gatherings.
At the ASPIRE Academy level, your group involvement will likely total 2-4 hours per month. You will be amazed how much you will gain from those few hours of discussion, meetings, and masterminding!
Like with most things in life, you will get out of ASPIRE what you put into it!
Who leads the monthly meetings?
In the ASPIRE Success Club, Dr. Christi leads most of the meetings; periodically, her team of certified coaches – who have also been involved in ASPIRE for years – will facilitate meetings as well. In the ASPIRE Academy, Dr. Christi leads all the trainings and masterminding. (ASPIRE Virtual does not include any meetings.)
Why is ASPIRE in all caps?
Each letter represents qualities on which ASPIRE members focus: Action, Strength, Positivity, Integrity, Relationships, and Excellence. This is truly an extraordinary group of professional women!
Do you have other questions? If we haven’t answered them here, on the ASPIRE website, or in the 2018 ASPIRE – Enrollment Flyer, please feel free to contact us – we are happy to help!
Hope to see you in ASPIRE ’18! We are ready for an amazing year!
Look familiar? They may, as they comprise three of the most common New Year’s resolutions year after year. They’re also quite boring in my opinion, but more on that in a moment.
Years ago, someone told me that the best time to create your goals is right when you’ve landed from a skydiving jump – you’re in such an “I can do ANYTHING!” mood that you infuse your goals with energy, excitement, and expansion. Having jumped out of an airplane myself, I can attest to this! I now wish I’d had a notebook with me during my skydiving adventure. 🙂
But even if you don’t have plans to leap from a plane before the new year, you can take other steps to create exciting, colorful goals. Below are five tips I incorporate into every goal-setting experience.
1. Start With Your Wins.
The success rate with New Year’s resolutions tends to be extremely low, and I think I know the reason: We typically set them – and often, our goals in general – from a place of lack. You might look at what you haven’t succeeded at yet, or where you messed up and vow to do differently.
I challenge you to start from the opposite perspective. Make a big list of your wins – both planned and unexpected. Include everything you can think of: The completed work project that required every ounce of creativity you, the family trip you took, the houseplants you kept alive.
Celebrate those wins before you take one more action.
2. Brainstorm With A Magic Wand.
From this place of success and abundance, begin brainstorming what you’d love to create in the coming year. I suggest creating a Breakthrough Map for this purpose, exploring various areas of your career, family, health, finances, and so on.
As you generate ideas, do so as if time, money, courage, and energy are in abundant supply – like I am waving a magic wand over your year. Focus on what you’d like to see, not how. The how comes later.
I’m often asked how many goals I set each year. The answer: I typically set three Bold Goals, along with various other smaller projects and goals. You can learn details about how I do this via my Big Dreams, Bold Goals workshops, or in the ASPIRE Bold Goal training next January if you decide to join us.
3. Write Your Goal In Present Tense.
Once you’ve decided which goals to pursue, write them in the present tense. For example, “I am so happy and grateful that I tripled incoming funds for my nonprofit!” or “I am so energized now that I have sent my manuscript to the publisher!”
This may sound weird at first, but there is powerful neuroscience behind this. If you state your goals in the “I will” or “I’m going to” format, you are always in ‘chase mode’ – there will always be some dissonance between you and the goal. If you phrase it as though it’s already here, you’ll bridge that gap and can focus on the next right action.
4. Infuse Positivity.
In a nutshell, make sure your goals move you toward something positive, not away from something negative. Pay attention to your language and word selection. This subtle shift will do wonders for your mindset. (Watch for an upcoming blog for more detail around this.)
5. Envision How Success Will Feel.
When you see yourself at the end of next year, celebrating your success, how does it feel? Did getting your research published boost your confidence? Did successfully leading your team through the transition fill you with energy? Identify the specific feeling connected to your goal – then ask yourself, “How can I start feeling that today?”
Goal-setting – life itself – is not an if/then endeavor: If I achieve the goal, then I can enjoy the feeling. Your mindset is powerful and you can choose your experience. Practice this! It will actually ease the pathway to your goal success.
Bonus Tip:
I always end my goals with the phrase “This or something better” to make room for awesomeness that I can’t even imagine yet. This allows me to consistently move toward my goals but without the tunnel vision that might keep me from unexpected learnings and interesting detours.
Which of these tips speaks to you? Have you found others that support your goal achievement? Feel free to share below or on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.
Last summer, I did something I have thought about doing for 15 years. I burned 90 of my journals.
That’s right, essentially 90 books of handwritten memories, thoughts, ideas, daily recaps, and dreams. Down in flames. Up in smoke.
For those of you who do not journal, you are probably thinking, “Um…yeah? So?”
And if you do journal and perhaps, like me, have done so for nearly four decades, you may think one of three things, for starters:
1) “How could you? That’s your history!”
2) “Good job – out with the old, in with the new!” or
3) “I have thought about doing that, too…”.
Interestingly, a decision that took me 15 years to make took only a few days to execute.
The ‘Before’ Collection – 120+ journals
How I Decided To Let Go
As I mentioned, I have waffled over this idea for years. A few months ago, after a massive decluttering fit in various areas of my home, work, and life, I felt ready to make a decision once and for all: Either keep the journals and be happy about doing so, or let them go.
To decide, I turned – of course – to my journal.
I asked myself several questions, and a few really stood out:
1. Why do I journal?
2. Why would I save them? (And what would that feel like?)
3. Why would I burn them? (And what would that feel like?)
My responses formed an early decision (confirmation came later, which I will share in a moment). Why do I journal? The act serves so many purposes: I journal as a way to process emotions, solve problems, and vent on paper. I also journal as a method of dreaming, visioning, planning, and creating. I pray via my journal, brainstorm business ideas, and the mindful act of writing helps me understand myself and make sense – or at least strengthen my acceptance – of the world around me.
When I asked myself why I have saved them for so long and why I might continue to do so, I only had one real answer: nostalgia. Interestingly, however, I never go back and read through past journals.
My response to why would I burn them, however, was robust. To feel lighter, to free up the past, to relieve others from the onerous task of deciding what to do with them when I die, to create space – figuratively and literally – for the fresh and new, and about a dozen more reasons.
But mostly, for peace of mind.
I often decorate the covers myself. This is still one of my favorites.
Old Ways Won’t Open New Doors
For a rather prolific period of my life, I mostly journaled when upset, hurt, angry, feeling especially angsty, or swimming in low self-confidence. I might rant on paper, get it out of my system, and clear my head enough to return to life with a fresh perspective. Journaling allowed me to process through a struggle without taking it out on someone else or saying something I would regret.
In this way, journaling has afforded the opportunity to experience the full gamut of human emotions in a safe, sacrosanct place. As Christina Baldwin writes in Life’s Companion, “Journal writing provides a way we can practice intuitive skills without social embarrassment.” Agreed!
I never went back, however, and wrote how I solved the problem, or how it was all a misunderstanding, or how I was existing on two hours of sleep at the time of writing which may have skewed my perception of reality. If someone came across my journals, especially those from a stretch in young adulthood, they would not have an accurate picture of my life.
I looked at my responses to my questions, explored this through the lens of my Purpose Statement, and reflected. The negatives of holding onto the journals massively outweighed the positives. I made the decision to let them go.
And as soon as I started reading through them in preparation to release them, I knew with 100% certainty I made the right choice. I am not the same person I was in many of those journals – and I don’t really need the reminder of her, either. I saved certain pages and excerpts and meaningful moments (and nearly 30 entire journals, too), and I also took pictures of the covers for potential nostalgia’s sake. But releasing the contents into the shredder and bonfire was easier than I had imagined.
And oh, the closet space it opened up!
My first two journals ever, which I still have. Plus the secure locks ensure they will never be read, right?
Why I’m Still Journaling Today
Interestingly, once I began freely tossing all those old writings, my concern was not “Is this the right decision?” but rather “Will I ever write in a journal again?” This may sound melodramatic, but I have a very all-or-nothing personality, and I wondered if knowing that my journals may very likely become kindling for future bonfires would keep me from writing.
It has not. I still journal daily.
And that is perhaps the greatest lesson I have learned in this: Journaling, for me, is not about the end result, but rather about the act of writing in and of itself.
As an author and coach, I publish books, articles, chapters, and blogs frequently. I write those with my readers in mind and always try to educate or inspire in some fashion.
But journaling involves being fully present and downloading onto paper what I feel in the moment. My constantly-moving mind struggles with meditation and yoga and other mindfulness practices, yet when I write, I can only think about the words I am physically putting onto paper. I can only be in the present moment. Journaling is my meditation.
So I still journal. Like with a trusted friend, I can pour out my heart however I need to, without censorship, without fear.
A cover I didn’t need to decorate, because it already spoke the truth.
Going Forward
Through this process, I realized once again that I do not need to save every word I write. When my dissertation for my doctoral degree was approved, for example, I did not hold onto every past rough draft. What I have dubbed my Great Journal Clearout of 2017 felt a little like letting go of some of my ‘life rough drafts’ as I continue to evolve, transform, and grow.
My decision to let go of old journals may not be the right one for you. Maybe you destroy your journals each time you fill one, or maybe you store them all in a climate-controlled unit and plan to until the end of time.
Maybe the thought of letting them go makes you cringe, in which case your outcome will likely be different than mine.
Maybe you won’t even ask the questions right now because you know you’re not in a space to make a strong, confident decision.
And that’s ok. You do what’s right for you.
For me, while I can question my decisions like a pro, this one (which, remember, only took 15 years to make!) felt and continues to feel 100% right for me. Maybe my next 90 journals will fare differently, maybe not. Either way, I will continue to savor the daily art of journaling for the creative, mindful act that it is, and revel in the clarity and expansiveness that has come with letting go of the old to create space for the new.
Imagine a coworker walks by without acknowledging you. Do you instantly think you must have done something to offend him?
When you give a presentation, write an article, or craft a social media post, do you focus on how smart you sound – or on what your audience member/reader most needs?
Early in my business, when I was freaking out about something or other, one of my first coaches gifted me with this phrase: “Christi, remember: It’s not about you.” That has become somewhat of a mantra for me ever since.
This week, consider this possibility: It’s not about you.
When we remember these four words – It’s Not About You – we take things less personally, and we can also focus more on growth of others as well as ourselves. This can be both a great service and a huge relief.
Honor your boundaries, of course, but don’t let assumptions drag you down.
If someone brushes you off, ask yourself what they might be dealing with that you don’t know about.
If someone cuts in front of you in traffic, imagine with compassion what scenario might cause them to be in a hurry.
If someone acts jealous of you, know that they’re responding to something inside them, not you.
If you are speaking, writing, or serving in other ways, remember: It’s not about how great you are or how fantastic you look or how many ‘tweetables’ you offer.
It’s about lifting humanity, helping people know they matter, drawing out the best in others.
Do you ever have moments where the words “thank you” just don’t seem big enough? I’ve had many and, as a writer, I always feel compelled to keep searching for a way to articulate how grateful I am for:
* People who give their all to keep others safe, healthy, and mentally strong
* Children, wise beyond their years, who remind us of the power of openness and inclusivity
* Strangers and loved ones alike who go above and beyond to help
And those are just a few examples.
As of yet, I still haven’t found the ideal word. I’ll keep searching.
In the meantime, for all of you world-changers and difference-makers, I hope a simple, heartfelt thank you will suffice.
I’ve written often about the power of an annual theme (see here and here, for example). Choosing a word or phrase that describes who and how you want to be in the coming year is a clarifying, empowering, and mindset-shifting activity. I am always amazed at how my annual theme plays out in ways I never could have anticipated!
Today I want to take this one step further with you.
First, start by choosing the word you most want to represent you. It could be your highest core value or a word directly from your Purpose Statement. Or maybe it’s the word that best summarizes your goals for the coming year. It might be the word that you know is you at your very best, even if you don’t feel like you always live up to it.
The only real criteria: the word needs to be meaningful and inspiring to you.
Got your word?
Now, in past articles and presentations I’ve shared many ways to hold this word high: Make it your screen saver. Build it into your passwords. Create a visual anchor representing it. I still encourage you to take these actions, as they will solidify your word and make it part of your way of being.
But I also want you to do something bold:
With a large marker, write the words I AM… on a piece of cardstock or in the front of your journal. Then, still using that rich, permanent marker, I want you to write your word.
For example:
I AM ENERGY.
I AM FOCUS.
I AM CLARITY.
I AM MINDFULNESS.
I AM COURAGE.
Essentially, you are staking your claim and making the word part of your present experience, rather than something in the distance toward which you are working or striving.
We conducted a similar exercise at Spark last week, and you could feel the strength and energy in the room rising as each person boldly declared her space! It’s one thing to think it; it’s another to write it large and say it loud.
It may feel awkward at first. You may have thoughts like, “But I’m not actually this yet – it’s what I want to be!”
I beg to differ.
I believe this is who you are at your core. It’s already in you, already a part of you. It’s just been waiting for you to bring it to surface level and commit to it.
You’ve surely heard it said that “I am” are two of the most powerful words in the English language, because whatever you put after them creates your reality. Think about that: How often have you said, “I am tired” – then instantly felt filled with energy? Probably never, you likely just felt more tired.
But maybe you’ve experienced times where you had a rough night’s sleep and felt tired, but rather than stating it over and over throughout the day, you told yourself a different story: “I am energized. I am focused. I am awake!” I bet telling yourself a different story led to a different result.
Keep that in mind as you decide your annual theme – or even your daily intention. Decide who and how you want to be in the world, then commit to it. This simple but profound act could change your life experience!
What word do you choose? Commit to it even more by sharing it on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter!
Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
Viktor Frankl
Coaching Tip of the Week:
I am creating this Clarity Kickstart well in advance ofSpark – and I imagine that when you receive it, I will be deep in post-Spark wonder. I am always so invigorated and inspired when surrounded by people who choose a mindset of growth, connection, positivity, and purpose!
This week, choose your mindset.
Yes, things happen that are out of our control. But we always control our mindset.
We always choose who and how we will be in any given moment, regardless of what goes on around us.
Choose wisely this week! Some ideas:
Choose positivity.
Choose kindness.
Choose to bring forth your absolute best self, no matter how anyone else chooses to be.
Choose meaning and purpose.
How will you choose to approach your work and life this week?
Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone. It’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.
Unknown
Coaching Tip of the Week:
I’m sure I’ve shared this photo before, but I think we can all use the reminder from time to time. I recently posted it in our Spark Facebook group with this note that I’ll share with you, too:
One of the things I love about clarifying your core values and purpose is the CONFIDENCE that comes with it. It’s like a thread that weaves through all aspects of your work, family, and life, allowing you to make strong decisions in favor of what matters most. So exciting!
This week, work and live with confidence.
Some things confident people tend to do:
Walk tall.
Speak up.
Help others.
Get clear on their values, goals, and purpose.
Take the values-based action, even if it’s scary.
Show up.
I’m so excited to experience confidence in action with all the amazing people meeting at Spark in just a few days! We’ve added seats and now have just two left. If one is yours, click here – and we’ll see you Friday!
Earlier this summer, I finished a retreat on the West Coast and hopped a plane back to Des Moines. I found my middle seat and struck up a conversation with the man next to me. Within moments he had commented on his delightful trip, the unseasonable – but great – weather, his gratitude for having a seat on this plane (an earlier one had been canceled), and the kindness the airline workers always showed him. His smile was contagious and even his bright checkered socks seemed to exude positivity.
The passenger to my other side arrived and, also within moments, shared about his disappointing trip, the awful weather, this frustrating airline, why he doesn’t like where he lives, reasons he hates to travel, even some life regrets. I found myself fascinated, exhausted, and thinking about mindset.
We all have rough days, and even the most positive among us experience anger, sadness and frustration, so no judgment here. But if complaining and focusing on the negative represent your typical mindset, you may be impacting more than you realize: More and more studies are linking mindset to professional success, relationship strength, life satisfaction, even physical health. In short, mindset matters.
Fortunately, you have the power to choose your mindset and develop it how you wish. If you’re ready to up-level yours, consider starting here:
Select your intention. I’m a big believer that how you start your morning sets the tone for the day. Even with the busiest schedule in the world, you can begin mastering your mindset before you even get out of bed: Choose a word that captures who/how you want to be throughout the day — maybe “patient” or “energized” or “focused.” Call your intention to mind any time for an instant shift.
Eliminate your trigger word(s). What do you often say, to yourself and/or to others, that instantly depletes your energy, positivity or confidence? For me, it was “should”; maybe for you it’s “can’t” or “overwhelmed” or “don’t have time.” Challenge yourself to eliminate draining words from your vocabulary and see what happens.
Keep a Success Journal. I encourage my coaching clients to record one win per day — either a general highlight or one specific to their goal. This simple act trains your mind to seek out the positive, plus it provides confidence-building fuel you can review before an interview, presentation or difficult conversation.
Give yourself grace as you begin mastering your positive mindset, knowing that — like all good things and strong habits — it may take a while to stick. But with just moments per day, you’ll notice your perspective shifting, and so will the people around you — even those who only enter your life for a brief plane ride.
Christi Hegstad, Ph.D., is a certified and award-winning coach, speaker, author, and founder of the upcoming fifth annual Spark retreat. Connect with her online at or on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at @ChristiHegstad.
