“I’d rather not set goals at all. That would feel better than setting them and falling short.”
I hear this or something like it fairly regularly, and my heart breaks a little each time. Goals – at least how I view them – are meant to inspire, challenge, and stretch us, not weigh us down.
But, I am also not immune to the experience of feeling somewhat defeated in the achiever experience. You may remember me writing about this earlier this year, in fact. So, I’m not here to tell you to just grin and bear it, but I’m also not here to tell you to give up on goals, either.
Maybe one of these three ideas can help you find a common ground:
Gain Over Gap
You may have seen me mention a goal-related book, 10x Is Easier Than 2x, in my reading wrap-up last month. And while I enjoyed that book, I’d actually recommend reading the authors’ earlier book, The Gap And The Gain, in this instance.
The core principle: Pay more attention to how far you’ve come than how far you have yet to go.
Revisit this as often as you find helpful. And if that means daily, so be it.
Supporter Over Dictator
If you create a long to-do list each day, don’t allow yourself to veer from it whatsoever, and feel ‘less than’ when you don’t complete every single item on it, your to-do list is essentially dictating your life.
To-do lists, and goals, are there to support our accomplishment, inspire us into action, and encourage our focus – not boss us around as if we don’t have free will or independent thought.
Consider placing your goals in the passenger seat. They can offer direction, provide navigation, and help guide you through detours, but you get to drive the car.
Purpose Over Check Mark
Don’t get me wrong: I love checking things off the list as much as the next person! So much so that I’ll sometimes add completed tasks at the end of the day just to get the satisfaction of checking them off. But I also recognize there’s more to goals – and more to life – than simply checking the boxes.
If your goals feel bound in shoulds, check marks, or ’empty wins,’ revisit the foundation. Goals that align with your purpose, and being able to consistently link your actions to your overarching ‘why,’ provide the best motivation I know.
Plus, even if you fall short of your goal, you’re still intentionally honoring your purpose, which brings its own kind of unshakeable fulfillment.
While you can apply all three of these ideas to your current goals, I definitely encourage you to proactively apply them to your 2025 goals. And now – before the hustle and bustle of holidays and year-end activity is upon us – is the best time to begin setting those goals for 2025! I have a handful of spots left in the Bold Goal Bonanza, so if you’d like the tools, coaching, and expert support in setting purposeful goals and achieving them in meaningful ways, be sure to enroll before the spaces fill.
May your goals inspire you into action and guide you to the difference you’re here to make!