Fifteen years ago, I drew two arrows on a piece of paper for a client: one pointing down, the other pointing up. I titled the page ‘Weights + Lifts.’
I then asked my client to name everything she could think of that weighs her down. As she said each energy drain aloud, I wrote them by the down – or ‘Weights’ – arrow. Vague things like worry, uncertainty, and lack of control appeared on the list, as well as more specific things like navigating an illness and a financial issue she was facing.
As we talked, I could sense a heaviness in her responses – but also a relief in getting them out of her head and ‘into broad daylight,’ so to speak.
We then shifted gears. “What raises your energy?” I asked. “What lights you up?” Again, I recorded her responses – this time next to the ‘Lifts’ arrow pointing upward. It took a few beats, but soon she started talking faster as she described how great it felt to pull a batch of fresh-baked cookies out of the oven, or to walk the nature trail near her home, or to hold the door open for someone at the store.
I write pretty fast, but after a while I couldn’t keep up. 🙂
And the shift in her demeanor was palpable.
We wrapped up our coaching session with an action plan that allowed her to acknowledge, address, and get support with some of the Weights, as well as intentionally invite more and more of the Lifts into her life on a regular basis.
When Things Feel Heavy
I’ve shared the Weights + Lifts exercise many times in subsequent years. And, of course, I’ve conducted it myself many times, too.
My Weights often show up in the form of worries, ‘shoulds,’ or trying to figure everything out myself.
My Lifts, on the other hand, frequently include breathing fresh outdoor air, taking an action within my control, journaling, creating something by hand, or holding a meaningful conversation with someone inspiring.
We don’t need to ignore the weights or pretend like they don’t exist. But we don’t need to let them run the show, either.
If you’re feeling a bit of ‘heaviness’ these days, consider giving my Weights + Lifts exercise a try. See if you can let go of, minimize, or get help with some of the Weights. Challenge yourself to invite small, healthy Lifts into your life on a regular – i.e., daily – basis.
Life may not always feel balanced. But rather than aiming for perfect balance, perhaps we can try to tip the scales in favor of what lifts us – and those around us – up instead.
What’s something that would appear on your Lifts list? Share your idea below or on Instagram!
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