In workshops, I often ask how “society” defines success. A few criteria typically rise to the top:
Power.
Celebrity.
Fame.
Based on these standards, are you successful?
Unless you bring in $20 million per movie or grace the cover of Time magazine, probably not.
But is that your definition of success?
Again, probably not.
One of the most liberating aspects of adulthood (earlier if we’re fortunate) is realizing you don’t have to measure your success based on someone else’s ideas. You can define it – and work, lead, and live it – for yourself.
Several years ago, I came across Ralph Waldo Emerson’s definition of success and found myself moved by it. So much so, in fact, that I cross-stitched it and have it hanging prominently in my office.
I have since created my own definition of success, which can be summed up in just a few words: Growth. Meaningful significance. Moving self and others in a positive direction.
As a parent, my greatest joy comes when my children succeed – whether that means achieving a goal, showing compassion, doing or being their best.
As a coach, I succeed when my clients succeed, which is why I’m 100% invested in their success.
As a human being, if I’m growing, doing work of significance, and moving people in a positive direction, I feel successful. Sometimes I fall short of the particular goal for which I’m striving, but even in those times I can still grow and others can still learn from my experience.
In this sense, even when we fail, we can succeed.
So, how do YOU define success?
If you feel unsuccessful, chances are you are either basing your success on someone else’s view, or you have somehow disconnected from your values, strengths, & purpose. Let’s start with your success definition and, in a special edition of Do What You Love! later this month we’ll address the values alignment issue.
This month, set aside some quiet time to discern your personal definition of success.
To start, make a list of what you consider your greatest successes over the past few years.
Then, look for common threads: Do several involve doing what you said you would do? Setting a goal and seeing it through? Making a difference for others while honoring your own values? Overcoming a barrier?
You might also journal on the topic. Start with the prompt, “I feel most successful when…”, then free-write what comes to mind.
Earl Nightingale defined success as “the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” Motivational speaker Tony Robbins defines it as a “consistent increase in progress with your quality of life.” I love both of these definitions because they remind us that success doesn’t come when we achieve a goal – it’s about who we become in the process.
Maybe you ran a marathon, or maybe you walked around the block without stopping. Maybe you brought a company from bankruptcy to financial health, or maybe you kept your tomato plants alive. Rather than compare your wins to someone else’s, celebrate your successes and define what that means for yourself.
Then, as we move even more fully into 4th quarter, make plans to wrap up 2014 successfully – whatever that means for you!
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Dr. Christi Hegstad helps you successfully do what you love! As a Certified Executive and Leadership Coach and the President of MAP Professional Development Inc., she coaches executives and leaders who need to get unstuck – whether in your leadership ability, income level, or from spinning your wheels in the day-to-day. Christi helps you flourish towards your purposeful vision with clarity, confidence, and meaningful action.
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Learn more about Dr. Christi and MAP Inc. at www.meaning-and-purpose.com, on Facebook, or via Twitter.
