Years ago, I wrote an issue of my newsletter completely around one word. I challenged readers to take note of how often they used the word, to pay attention to what it did for their energy level or mood, and – if they felt especially on top of things – to then eliminate it from their vocabulary for a week or two.
That newsletter prompted more feedback than any I had written up to that point.
The word?
Should.
Seriously – how do you feel just thinking the word? Now attach an action to it, one that you don’t necessarily want to do:
“I should clean the toilets,” perhaps.
Or imagine a rather demanding person in your life pointing at you and saying, “You should do more!”
Sometimes even memes on the internet tell us we should do this or we shouldn’t do that or we should feel this and not that.
Ugh. It’s exhausting and can defeat us before we even begin. And if you’re anything like those early newsletter readers, you’ll be amazed how often you’re saying it to yourself in any given week.
But there’s a simple solution: Replace the word.
Every time you’re about to say “should,” for instance, replace it with “will” or “will not.” You are essentially making a decision with your statement which, in combination with not using the “s” word, offers instant relief and liberation.
Here’s a goofy example: Probably my least-favorite household chore is scrubbing the floor. I can recall days where I’d think, multiple times throughout the day, “I should scrub the floor tonight.” And since it wasn’t necessarily fun, I’d feel a dull sense of dread as well as accompanying guilt since I had likely been saying that same statement for days (weeks?) on end.
So I tried this experiment on myself. When I replaced “should” with “will not” (it wasn’t a life-or-death task, after all), I immediately felt freedom and didn’t think about it again the rest of the day – decision made. When I replaced it with “will,” I actually mustered up the resolve – a “Let’s do this!” attitude, if you will – and similarly felt freedom. Again, decision made.
And maybe “should” doesn’t impact you but you have different trigger words: “can’t,” “too busy,” and “overwhelmed” are ones I hear often. You can implement the same technique, replacing the word with something else – ideally, something more positive. “I’m too busy” can become “I choose to spend my time here instead,” for example.
Think of yourself as the driver of your car (of life), the captain of your ship (of work). Choose words that empower and make a decision rather than feeling a victim of circumstance.
It may seem like a small shift, but words have power. I think you’ll be surprised at how much a simple shift can impact your mindset, well-being, and sense of meaning and purpose!
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