Last week, Lift IOWA and the Des Moines Business Record published an article in which I wrote about, of all things, my hair. OK, it went a bit deeper than that, but my main point was this:
When you believe in yourself and your highest values, unimportant criticism rolls off your back the same as if someone said you have three arms. You wouldn’t feel hurt or let it derail you; you’d know in your heart that you have just two arms, could say, “Thank you for your feedback,” and move on.
(You can catch the full article
here.)
I’ve done a lot of personal work in the area of confidence, and I’m still not 100% there (just ask my sister about my random “freak-out” texts!). I also work with a number of exceptional leaders, men and women who appear to sail smoothly through life, and confidence issues frequently come up for many of them, too. We’re all a work in progress when it comes to confidence.
But this work has brought me to two very important conclusions:
- We never outgrow the need to hear someone say, “You can do it. I believe in you.” (Please, please never underestimate the power of these words!)
- Confidence can stem from the most unexpected places.
What heightens your confidence?
If you’re unsure, call to mind a time when you felt strong, confident, and “in the zone.” Then tease that moment apart for confidence clues.
When I did this exercise early in my business, I discovered clues ranging from the way I prepared myself to the shoes I wore (tall black boots were key! ;-)) to the people with whom I chose to share certain moments. I was surprised how much I learned from my scan of a few confident moments.
Each of us is different, so what lifts your confidence may not match what lifts your coworker’s. But here are a few ideas worth exploring:
1. Steep Yourself In Purpose.When you know your core values, top priorities, and mission, you become crystal clear about when to say “yes” and when to disengage. Don’t you naturally feel stronger and more confident when you’re doing what you love and when you know it is helpful, positive, and in integrity?
2. Prepare.
A common denominator for confident moments among my clients is feeling prepared and planful. It’s a huge reason why I’m sharing my planning system at Spark this year! (We’re almost sold out – click here to join us!) Plan your days with intention and in favor of strong moments.
3. Focus In Your Strengths Zone.
Do what’s necessary to get your weaknesses up to par, but don’t dwell on them. You’ll always find greater success when engaging your strengths, and success breeds confidence. (Leaders, help your employees with this. It’s so beneficial for them and the organization, and it’s rewarding for you!)
Coach Christi’s Challenge: This month, experiment with your confidence boosters. Put yourself in settings, based on your confidence clues, where you will shine. You may, by necessity, need to spend time in not-so-shining areas too, but you have might have more power over your schedule than you realize – and you definitely have power over the attitude you choose.
Like actress Kate Winslet once said about choosing her roles: “I wouldn’t dream of working on something that didn’t make my gut rumble and my heart want to explode.”
One important note: Make sure you own your confidence boosters – that they are within your control. Sure, hearing “Well done” feels amazing, but it’s completely dependent on someone else. Taking responsibility for yourself will build your confidence, too!
Perhaps ironically, you can grow your own confidence by commending others on a job well done. Look for an opportunity to tell someone, “You can do it. I believe in you.”
You will likely change two lives – your recipient’s and yours – with that simple expression of confidence!
What boosts your confidence? Share your thoughts below or on Facebook!
Spark is almost sold out! Earlybird Rate ends in less than 2 weeks! Click here to join us.
What if your boldest dream is actually within reach…and you don’t even realize it?
Dr. Christi Hegstad, Dream Igniter & Growth Accelerator. Christi is a Certified Coach who has helped thousands clarify and reach Big Dreams and Bold Goals with meaning and purpose. She is president of MAP Professional Development Inc., NAWBO Iowa’s Woman Business Owner of the Year, president of ICF Iowa, and mom to three amazing kids.
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