5 Tips For When Your Confidence Shakes

Confidence: Is it a muscle we can strengthen? A choice we can simply make? And what do we do when it gets shaky?
Christi Hegstad September 21st, 2022

Clients come to me for a variety of coaching needs:

To achieve a bold + meaningful goal, to strengthen their leadership skills, or to prioritize and manage their time more effectively, for example.

And as we coach together, another topic often emerges:


Confidence is at the heart of nearly everything we do. It’s hard to achieve goals if we don’t actually believe we can. Forcing ourselves to go through the motions, or ‘faking it until we make it,’ can only take us so far.

Building Solid Confidence

If your confidence has grown shaky, perhaps one of these five tips can help:

1. Craft Your ‘Celebration of Triumphs.’

I have a big dream that, I’ll be honest, I’m not fully convinced (yet) I can make happen. I recently dedicated a page in my journal to ‘Dreams That Became Reality’ and listed things I’ve done over the years that also were once only dreams. That has served as a powerful reminder! Make a list of your achievements – big and small, planned and unplanned – and refer to it often.

2. Track Small Wins.

If your to-do list is completely made up of large, multi-faceted projects, you may not feel like you’re experiencing any wins at all. Break these projects down into smaller – teeny-tiny, if necessary – components so you can start checking things off the list and building your momentum.

3. Scan Your Personal History.

As you look over the past few years (or even farther back), what are some of your favorite high-confidence moments? When did you feel really ‘in the zone’ or like you were in just the right place at just the right time? List out a few such moments, then dig into them a bit to see what contributed to your confidence. You may find clues to enhance your confidence in upcoming moments as well.

4. Partner Up.

Clarity and confidence are foundational components of my work with coaching clients – and also things my coach supports me in, too. (Yes, coaches need coaches!) If you’d like a few confidence-building coaching sessions before we wrap up the year, email my office and let’s talk.

5. Seek Out Confidence In Action.

Whom do you know – either in person or from afar – that emanates confidence? What in particular do you notice about them? In addition to those confidence role models, look into helpful confidence resources, too. I love The Confidence Code by Kay & Shipman, and Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk on body language has garnered millions of views.

Like a muscle strengthened through regular exercise, your confidence can be strengthened through practice and attention. Hopefully one or more of these ideas helps strengthen your confidence muscle! What else would you add to the list?

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