We live in a culture that thrives on fear. Just watch the news for 5 minutes or scan the headlines of the daily paper and you’ll see proof of that. So how do we gracefully, courageously move forward through life when so much wants to hold us back?
This was one of the questions I asked Nancy Day Blasberg, certified Brene Brown facilitator, in our recent interview with the ASPIRE Success Club. A coach and business owner for 15 years, Nancy has helped hundreds of clients succeed in spite of – or, rather, alongside – their doubts and uncertainties. And, since none of us is immune, she has also navigated her share of them as well.
After attending Spark in 2013, Nancy pursued her dream of becoming certified to teach Brene Brown’s outstanding work in areas like vulnerability, shame, and resilience, and generously shared some of her insights with us. A few highlights:
On vulnerability: If you are scared to put yourself out there because of what the critics might say, take heart. “There will be critics no matter what,” Nancy reminds us. “No matter how hard we try, we can’t escape uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” Recognizing that truth, circling yourself with support, and believing in yourself can lighten the fear (as does practice). Also, Nancy adds, “Don’t put the key to your self-worth in someone else’s hands.”
On failure: When you judge your worth by dollar amounts, whether or not you made the sale, or some other external measure, you will likely always feel not-quite-enough. “I redefined failure for myself,” Nancy shares. “My main question now is, Did I show up? As in, did I give it my all? Was I fully in the game? If my answer is yes, then regardless of the outcome, I did not fail.”
On control: No matter how hard we try, we cannot escape uncertainty and risk. Many of us want to take a risk only when we’re quite certain how it will play out which, by definition, isn’t much of a risk at all. Nancy gives great perspective here: “We have responsibility for our lives, but we don’t have control.” Take action, put yourself out there, and be willing to detach from the outcome.
Brene Brown opens her book, Daring Greatly, with Roosevelt’s famous “Man In The Arena” speech. As Nancy describes it, we are all playing in various arenas in life: career, family, financial, health, and so on. As we explore our most important arenas, she encourages us to ask two questions:
Who do I really want to be in that arena?
How do I truly want to engage with life?
Answering those questions with pure honesty and vulnerability can transform who and how you are in this world. If enough of us decide to honor courage over fear, to fully show up, and to take responsibility, we will inspire others to dare greatly as well!
Learn more about Nancy Day Blasberg and her work at www.rocketcoach.com.
Share your thoughts with us on Facebook and Twitter!
What if your boldest dream is actually within reach…and you don’t even realize it?
Dr. Christi Hegstad, Dream Igniter & Growth Accelerator. Christi is a Certified Coach who has helped thousands clarify and reach Big Dreams and Bold Goals with meaning and purpose. She is president of MAP Professional Development Inc., NAWBO Iowa’s Woman Business Owner of the Year, and mom to three amazing kids.