“I grew up in Wyoming, 2 hours from the closest school, amid rattlesnakes and raging bulls. Blaming, pointing fingers, and whining were just not part of my childhood. And I learned two things early on: We are each responsible for our own fate, and if I wanted something done, I had to do it myself.”
So began our ASPIRE Success Club interview with LaRae Quy, former FBI counterintelligence and undercover agent and now author, speaker, and consultant on mental toughness. LaRae, who recently released her second book, Mental Toughness For Women Leaders, spent an hour with us answering questions about courage, mindset, failure, confidence, and more. Her stories from her FBI days were certainly spellbinding, with terrific application to workplace success! A few takeaways:
- View obstacles as “mysteries to be investigated.” LaRae faced some unique challenges early in her FBI career, ultimately leaving her with two choices: “I could either ask to be transferred to a different location, or I could use my wit and change the situation.” (Notice how “give up” or “complain about it” don’t appear as options!) LaRae chose the second option, recreated her way of working, and essentially invented her own success.
- Put your heart in it – whatever your “it” is. “You can’t be mentally tough if your heart is not fully in it,” LaRae advised. Doing work that you love builds courage and confidence, as does the ability to clearly focus on and put energy behind your top priorities. “We each need to find our calling that gives us meaning and value.”
- Be open. Sound surprising, given her former line of work? Vulnerability actually boosted LaRae’s success in the FBI and beyond. “It’s about being authentic,” LaRae explained. “When you are honest and vulnerable, you develop relationships and build trust.” In addition, be open to trying new things and putting yourself in new situations – even those where you might fail. “Not everything that’s new or different is a threat,” LaRae reminded us, and failure can prompt incredible growth.
LaRae shared an extraordinary story demonstrating how mental toughness impacted her in a “sticky situation” – perhaps even saved her life – and offered an action step that has many of our ASPIRE Success Club members thinking and acting differently about fear. She then closed our interview with a terrific reminder for us all: Speak positively to yourself. Your positive, proactive self-talk will build your confidence, strengthen your courage, and enhance your mental toughness in all situations.
To learn more about LaRae, her books, and her mental toughness work, visit www.LaRaeQuy.com.
Dr. Christi Hegstad helps you successfully do what you love! As a Certified Executive and Leadership Coach and the President of MAP Professional Development Inc., she coaches executives and leaders who need to get unstuck – whether in your leadership ability, income level, or from spinning your wheels in the day-to-day. Christi helps you flourish towards your purposeful vision with clarity, confidence, and meaningful action.
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